Do you think I have Aspergers or just shy

Post Reply New Topic

As a child I had trouble with eye contact at times because for no reason at all I felt embarrassed. I used to have a bad temper due to sibling rivalry and being a poor loser. I used to hate socks because the knobs or where they were sown together bugged me. I went through occupational therapy as I had trouble with fine motor skills. I also went to speech therapy. I think I have hypernasal speech still. One therapist said I had hypernasality with a hyponasal resonance, which seems like a contradiction. Basically too much air comes out of my nasal cavity when it is not supposed based on a test she ran. Before fourth grade I did below average on standardized testing. From fourth grade on I started scoring in the 75th percentiles and at least earned proficient in all categories and advanced in a few. I know I did poorly before fourth grade because my parents told me they didn't show me my results before because they were not good. A physician suggested to my parents that I may have Aspergers when I was in middle school. Also two of my parents friends with degrees in psychology believe I have Aspergers, and my friends mom who works in special education senses I have it and no one told her about it. Also at a very young age the doctor told my parents I would most likely not play any team sports and at best would struggle to graduate high school with C's. I played football in high school and I have completed my third semester in a BSN program.

I also noticed some traits that some contradictory to Aspergers. I don't think I have a problem with social ques. I think it is to due with I don't always know what to say to strangers unless I can find something we have in common, and I don't know if people will approve of me at times. I didn't have problems making friends as a child. In high school I became more secluded but it may have been due to bullying and that I went to a different high school than the friends I had made from elementary and middle school. Unlike a lot people with AS my humor tends to be very figurative as love jokes that have double meanings like sexual innuendos. I don't lack empathy as I can easily put myself into others people's shoes. This may be due to getting mocked and bullied in my freshman year in high school however. I don't have any trouble with athletic abilities as I know I more athletic than the majority of people. I am pretty coordinated probably from Mauy Thai and BJJ. Also my strength for based on my size is well above average based on charts for different lifts. Also I don't have any problems controlling my emotions or with socks anymore, and my fine motors skills are up to par. I have been told by a girl that my handwriting was good for guy.
Sometimes I wonder if I have it or it is just mild like a 3 on a scale of 1- 10. Or has help from my parents and therapies helped me overcome a lot of my problems. I don't think I a normal person could spot my Aspergers but people who are trained to worked with special needs kids or people trained in psychology seem to believe I have it. So do you think I qualify as Aspergers or are people are just mistaking my shyness for Aspergers?

Hrmmm, I can't tell you for sure as I'm no professional but just because you have AS that dose not mean you don't have empathy or are good at making friends or having them and that apply to humor to I like good joke and can often be very non-literal especially with my jokes, also a thing to note is that things can improve over time as a Child I hated wearing shirts but now I can wear them fine (even though their still not as comfortable as a t-shirt) you grow out of somethings as to say or they improve overtime and overall just general things in your life determine how you cope and who you are, for instance I'm pretty lonely right now due to an attribute of facts such as my schooling, upbringing and even not helping myself which I'm only starting to now and that's because I like talking with people, sharing my feelings and generally hate being alone and I hope to improve to achieve what I want which is a social life and a girlfriend haha but going back to why Iv said all this, just because your pretty social, empathetic etc dose not mean you don't have AS you could well do but I'm not saying you do, to find that out you would have to go tested if your that curious to find out then by all means do it, if not then you seem happy (at-least to me) so their should be no issue, Hope this helps Sorry for any poor grammar that's dyslexia for ya and I have bad hand writing so your very lucky wish I could write neatly.

Asking us to know based on a couple of paragraphs seems like a very difficult challenge. Any guesses you get won't even mean much. My advice is that if you think you are and have some reason to need a label for it, see your doctor and ask them, they'll refer you on if they need to.

Otherwise, you can just hang out here, see what traits you do have in common and try and find solutions to those problems that are a problem in your life.
Maz

I always used to think that being shy and having Asperger's were one and the same. Guess I was wrong.

There are many shy people who are neurotypical: they're just shy.

I am not shy as such, nor do i lack confidence. I appear shy as i find conversations hard to read, often they go past too fast and i miss the chance to input into them the words i have formed in my head. A lot of the time though i find people to be tiresome and tedious, i often find my own internal dialogue far more interesting than what they have to say.

You don't have to be shy to be on the spectrum.

I am shy. At first when meeting people I can't speak around them properly. I babble and mix all my words up. I become tongue tied. I also can tend to get a twitch or have trouble controlling the muscles in my face and mouth when I am very very nervous. It will wear off once I start to become comfortable around the person and my communication style will change (speech becomes normal, twitch goes away).

I have traits of aspergers but don't have any learning disabilities. On body language tests I apparently do better than average (on the havard emotional intelligence I got 31 which is higher than the average of 26, and on the fake smile test on BBC I got 20 out of 20 so am apparently very good at spotting when people are being fake with me (at least when it comes to smiling) even if I don't always trust my own judgment for example). As a child I developed more quickly than my peers. learned at a much faster rate, had different interests (more academic, more into boys toys, disliked dolls...the boys got to do all the fun stuff. Playing mummies and daddies was boring), had a preference for mixing with older children as they were closer to me in terms of intellectual and moral development, can be passionate about my interests, did like routine but only when I was stressed out living in an environment with aggressive people and so on. I actually suspect I might be gifted but happen to be an introverted shy gifted person who suffers from some social anxiety and depression due to bullying over the years. I am not being arrogant but trying to ascertain why I can't fit in with and relate to other people and aspergers does not quite fit me. It's similar but does not fit....

ie I have no problems dressing myself, feeding myself, looking after myself, paying my own bills, going out of the house, organising myself (when I am physically well and not suffering form brain fog), I can move from one task to the next with ease especially since going on the paleo diet and since getting rid of aforementioned brain fog and could do the same as a child...I was always learning lots of different things. My interests are not narrow but incredibly broad. My routines (if I do use any) are functional and no different to others who pencil their gym session into their diary or prefer to keep a regular sleep time (within a few hours...not to the exact minute so between 9 and 11 rather than at say 10.05 pm every night or something like that) in order to keep their circadian rhythm working. I enjoy two way conversations but only with people who can keep up with me. I have a very fast working brain and tend to find I can lose people. I can understand complex relationships and see them all in my head and how they interact without needing to break things down into bitesize chunks for myself.

I had an exceptional memory (not so reliable these days due to the meds the drs put me on and the brain fog...my brain function is slowly recovering, especially with the amount of omega 3 fats I eat on the paleo diet. The fat content of the diet seems to do my brain function good whereas consuming processed sugars seems to impair it) and so on. I do have sensitivities but am able to over ride them to do things I want to do (such as ride rollercoasters and actually enjoy the sound of the coaster rolling across the track whilst a train full of people scream...that does not sound autistic to me)

There is a difference between a neurological condition that impairs your ability to understand social interaction or results in you experiencing processing difficulties, not being able to relate to your peers because your brain is functioning at a different level to theirs or a psychiatric and/or mood disorder causing disruption in thought and perception. They all need to be treated separately as each have a different cause and require different types of intervention. The wrong type of intervention can do the person or their life irreversible damage.

Ie if I am gifted but shy and depressed (I need purpose in my life to not feel depressed and I don't have any right now. I really need to return to learning. I am bored floating around with no meaning in my life. Its hard to know what the hell I am even doing here or what I stick around for) I will not benefit from special ed classes about how to understand things I understood long ago. This could lead people to conclude I am capable of achieving less than I am. I feel frustrated that my ability is wasting because people are underestimating what I can and can't do based on some label a dr gave me or based on their lack of understanding of my behaviour. Talking with people with aspergers, although I like many of them, is not helping me at all and seems to be causing me no end of frustration, just as much as talking to NT people does.

The same happens on depression forums. The thinking there (and everywhere these days) seems to be too absolute or black and white. I live in a world of complex relationships that are relative to each other with constantly shifting variables. There are very few absolutes.

I also do not believe in concepts such as self esteem and worthlessness. I look after myself because I like to be well and have energy and vitality. I pursue things I am interested in because I am passionate about them. I enjoy being a quick learner because it allows me to pursue said interests and understand them on a deeper level (I hate just memorising facts for the sake of memorising them...I like to develop my understanding, to look at a subject from all possible angles), I am versatile and have ability in a number of different areas, not just one and not just those relating to things I find fascinating. I learn without effort and without having to try but I do not believe it makes me superior. I do not believe in such things and have little time for what I consider to be, such nonsense.

I don't live in a black and white world where everything has just one or two meanings which are either/or based.

Ergo why i can't communicate with people. My world is a complex one where everything has more than one possible meaning. Which meaning applies depends on all the variables that apply in that particular context or situation. Ie it not just what someone says, its how they say it, why they say it, when they said it, what they were doing as they said it, their facial expression when they said it.....all this gives me information.

If I am or was gifted I would probably do best to find an intellectual peer to chat with. That way we can share a discussion and exchange ideas, they will understand me and be able to keep up with the speed of my brain and I may find social interaction rewarding and satisfying for once, instead of under stimulating because I have to keep simplifying everything.

If its a mood disorder (and my depression is more a response to my situation than anything else) then that requires different treatment still.

Be careful that they arrive at the right diagnosis, The wrong and it can right royally f**k up your life.

Sorry for any typos, Its 2 am. I have insomnia.