Questions about state of our recently-deceased dog's body

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LaceyAmanda
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12 May 2014, 12:23 pm

I know: That subject heading may seem bizarre, but that's it. Our nearly-16-year-old dog died about 2 weeks ago, and our 7-year-old son will occasionally, "out of the blue," ask questions which would seem morbid to most people, about specific details about Angel's body (in her grave, which is in our backyard). Just wondered if anyone else had any experience with or wisdom about this. (He hasn't been "officially" diagnosed, and we think his main issue is ADHD, which is also not yet officially-diagnosed -- although we're working on filling out a long screening packet.)
He has always been very inquisitive about science-related things, so we think this part of it. He has adamantly insisted that he hasn't felt any sadness about her passing; I have told him it's OK, whatever he feels...
Many thanks.



CosmicRuss
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12 May 2014, 12:29 pm

I experienced similar thoughts myself as a youngster. I think that may have been because I found my grandfather deceased in bed but was too young to understand death and body disposal. I knew he was taken to a building [crematorium] and then developed a fear of passing that place as I thought bodies were stored there.
I am an adult now and understand the processes.

Try leaving a piece of food out and let your son monitor the decaying process that might help.


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12 May 2014, 1:48 pm

First off, let me express my condolences over the passing of Angel. I know how hard it is to have a dog pass away and two weeks is still recent for something like that. About the morbid questions you're getting from your son; I was much the same myself as a youngster, to my parents annoyance and disgust. For me it passed with time since I realised it was generally inappropriate to openly express such interests. I have to admit for a while that I did take some pleasure in seeing people squirm when I'd bring up a morbid topic. Eventually the interest itself sort of subsided as I learned more. At the heart of it was more technical curiosity than an actual desire to be morbid.
We aspies can have some weird obsessions, even if temporarily.


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chris5000
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12 May 2014, 3:39 pm

show him a time lapse video of an animal decomposing on youtube
they are pretty neat
heres a rabbit [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6sFP_7Vezg[/youtube]



KingdomOfRats
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12 May 2014, 4:48 pm

rest in peace to angel [a fitting name for her],she lived a good age for a dog,clearly must have had a good quality of life.

what were the questions?

death is a very difficult concept to understand- for some of us its impossible and it can be a very confusing and distressing time thinking our beloved pets are still there but unable to come to us, also those of us all over the spectrum often lack the emotional attachment to it that neurotypicals have so will often find we react differently.

there is no one way to grieve anyway so whatever it takes to get someone through.


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12 May 2014, 5:11 pm

So sorry about Angel. I have lost pets and it is losing a beloved family member. There is no other way to put it.

As far as the questions. that might be part of his grieving process. I would just be honest and not be freaked out and find books that explain this and let him learn about it. I have a lot of doctors in my family and this kind of talk was common even at the dinner table. It's just another part of the cycle of life and if we see it that way it might not be so morbid.


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Eccles_the_Mighty
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13 May 2014, 2:40 am

When I was a kid I was always told that a dead person (or animal) "was in heaven now" but this only led to more questions such as where heaven was. Your pet lived to a fine old age so it's obvious that it was happy and well looked after, this is how all animals should be treated and it's a good example for your son.


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13 May 2014, 3:35 am

He might make a good forensic pathologist some day.

When I was a kid I hated dogs and I honestly don't think I would care one way or the other if one died at the age of 7. Not like I would kill one or anything, I just didn't bond with animals.

Now that I'm older I actually do like animals a lot and I would hate to see one pass. I think it might just be a maturity thing.