40 in 3 and a half weeks my head is a mess

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Brief history began to suspect Autism Aspergers ASD just over two years ago got official diagnosis in March last year.

Thanks to advice on this board I am in a new job and I no longer have to deal with bullying.


I failed my driving test last week I will be applying again.

I have come this far but my life still feels empty.

I don't want to lean on people here anymore I know it is up to me to fulfill my life or not.

I am not depressed.

By the way I posted another thread just over 24 hours ago when I was drinking this is under control the only reason I was having a drink is because I am off work for a week.

When I started posting of this forum I was at rock bottom and in two years things have got much much better.

I have a deep desire to help people at rock bottom some of my motivation in starting this thread is to show people at a low when they join this forum things improving my life does not make me smug and I am still autistic.

Maybe this is my black and white thinking kicking in my life in not in ruins nor is it in ecstasy.

One thing I have learned is when I keep busy I am fulfilled but keeping busy is difficult when I have a syndrome that puts meaningful friendships and relationships beyond my grasp.

I am not asking for emotional support in this thread I am just getting off my chest that I lack a sense of direction of what I should be doing with my life.

Is this what they mean by a mid life crisis?

I am not sure what a midlife crisis is really. I think it's more like people get to an age where they realize they are not immortal and then they start to feel bad for all the things they should have or could have done and so they try stupid things to make up for that. But the way I see it is that age is just a number. If you want to learn something new at 50 like mountain biking or bungee jumping, than go for it.

It is really great to see how your life has turned around in the past couple of years. That is awesome and inspiring.

Keep at it with your driver's test. I know you'll get it. Good luck buddy. I'll always cheer you on.

Thanks for your reply I will be going for my driving test again.

You probably think 40s is old due to your b&w thinking, even though it isn't old(just not young either).

I like your posts, and although I am only 19 I feel a lot like you do. I don't feel depressed but I just have a permeating sense of emptiness..

Well, I've learned that life is what you make of it. And it sounds like you're aware of that too, and are taking steps to create the life you want for yourself.
That alone should be celebrated! (do you know how many people, on and off the spectrum, never come to that realization?) Congratulations!!

I'm in my mid-40's and life just keeps getting better because I finally realized that if I want a great life, I have to make choices for myself, and not do what others think is the right way or the successful way.

Congratulations!

I sounds more like being more fully aware than having a midlife crisis. A midlife crisis is when some git buys a flash car and gets a young girlfriend or boyfriend to try to deny that they are aging.

Wisdom and perceptive self-awareness are great things and no kind of crisis.

I've never had a midlife crisis; I hope I never have one LOL

I can't afford the flashy car--maybe that's why