I know there are good NT people

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I really do. and I could even make a list of some awesome common NT characteristics. And some of the people I most admire are NT.And for many years I believed that pretty much EVERYONE was awesome. I believed that the family I grew up in was an anomoly, maybe even a testing that I had passed with flying colors and that I was free of simply by virtue of surviving my childhood.
The last few years have been really hard in many ways, apart from severe illnesses and finances. Even apart from youngest sons' issues.

I no longer believe that pretty everyone is awesome. Over the past year, I have given a general idea here on WP about the events that precipitated the change of gut belief.

I have heard people say that they do not like people of another color, or another religous belief, etc. I have been told that they did not CHOOSE feeling that way but they could not stop. My reaction was disgust.

And here I am. doing the same thing. Explaining that I can like them {NTs'] individualy [some of my best friends, blah blah blah] but as a group I fear and totally distrust them.

I swear that I do not want to feel this way, I do not know how to stop, When I get close to it, it is almost as though there is a little voice [not audible] saying "Oh my God, Charlie Brown. It took you nearly 60 years to realize that Lucy is never going to hold the football for you, That's longer than anyone has ever taken. And now you're thinking of giving her another chance? Are you CRAZY?"

I do not want to feel this way. I do not know how to stop.

Hi Vickie...We're close to the same age, and yeah what you say rings true...Good to see you here.

I've come to feel that cynicism is one of the long term effects of being this old. We learn that the world is a lot less than what we wish it could be, and we also find that we're not as good either sometimes. It's human, and be grateful that you are conscious of having said self perceived flaws - it's a start in being able to cope with 'em. ..And note I say cope, not cure (part of my cynicism)...Real bigots and unconscious racists etc. don't have this ability to see themselves...they simply think they're right, and that makes them pretty dangerous to be about. Keep trying to find the better side of folks. I keep trying, too. You're not alone.

And I've also discovered that for some weird (neuropsychological/neurophysical??) reason, hanging out with the individual people I do like and admire helps, NT AS whatever letters makes no matter - another trick is just the physical act of smiling...you don't have to feel good to smile either...just smile - it's weird...but it works for me. You gotta hold the 'smile' for at least one full minute...and then you can relax your face (unless you start to laugh at how ridiculous it feels)...

I don't know you OP but it sounds like you never had a problem being optimistic. I think it's really cool that you thought pretty much everyone was awesome at one time. I'm the other way around. I used to think no one would ever want to be around me and no one could stand me because I was different. I went through my childhood thinking everyone around me was an ass including my parents. There were so many situations I would just be happy and silly and the next moment someone would lash out at me and make me feel bad. I guess I was the only one in my whole school with Asperger's (it was pretty uncommon back then). I just shut down for years and stopped talking to people because it wasn't worth it. So yeah I had some pretty messed up world views from the start. Only several years ago I started to find out that people may have some degree of love for someone else and it was amazing to me.

I don't think you should be worried about realizing not everyone is great because there really are foul people out there. If you start getting to that mindset I had then that is a problem. I think you seem like a really nice person and you have so much kindness to spread around. Just because you see some people for what they are doesn't mean you should let it water down your attitude. Keep being awesome because the world needs it.

I don't know what happened Vicky. But you write like someone traumatized and trying to survive somehow. Not like someone prejudiced. You write about being afraid, you're not spewing hatred.

This isn't prejudice. It's just trying to make it through your day relatively intact. It doesn't sound to me you should be angry with yourself over trying to manage.

I'm kinda confused. Don't most people do this?

Vicky, I had lunch with a bunch of women from work today, it was so depressing on so many levels. I think we just have to realize that it's not that they are bad people (or maybe just not that Autistic people are better) - it's just that they are so bound and hog tied by those weird societal rules. I don't think they even know how insane they are half the time. Every thing is about being on top of the heap and winning the war and they're so blind they don't even know it's not a war, it's just a life we're all living. Better to feel sympathy for them. == easy to say, I know, I wanted to crack some heads today!

My friends really came through for me this week though, thank goodness or I would be as depressed as you.

I think in way we're very lucky we don't even understand those rules, let alone are we tied up by them. But of course we have our own problems!

Having said that, some people really turn my stomach!

If they don't, they should.

I have never been a trusting person and I never thought everyone or even most were awesome. For me, even as a child, trust is something people earn. I have never trusted any group, nor should I. I only trust individuals who have proved themselves to me, and never blindly even then. And there are many levels of trust of course.

I think a lot of people do but there seems to be a popularity thing here like every other place. If the right person posted about getting gum on their shoe, a number of people would post about when they got gum on their shoe and not to use a paint scraper or they might cut up the bottom of it.




I slightly agree with that but the working world is totally a war zone. Especially customer service. Whoever can sell more than you is better than you. I think the established idiocy at a job would drive anyone crazy, but it's really up to an individual how they want to look at that. Like imagine you're in a meeting and the company you work for is brainstorming ways to save money while eating lobster lunches with baked potatoes and salads. So you suggest bringing lunches from home would be a good start and everyone in the room got mad at you. Now you feel robbed because you have more common sense than the people who pay you. Or you could just not say another word at another meeting and sit back and enjoy the show.
I think a lot of NTs know how exactly how insane societal rules are. Eventually one will just accept the rules and decide its better to support the ridiculous rules because their job and livelihood is at stake. It's just they bring their feelings out of the workplace and around their friends and kill the opportunity to forget about the day. The more people complain, the more hateful they appear to others.

I hear what you're saying, but I work at the same job as they do, and I don't treat them (my coworkers) like a means to an end. Office politics may make at least a little sense when there's some perceived prize for being a jerk. But when you're just a jerk for jerk's sake - it's nuts.


Edit - I lived in INdiana when I was a kid. Haven't been there since - long time ago! Me old!

I think it's still the same façade when they just love to be jerks. When people act like that, maybe no one ever treated them with any kindness or respect besides a couple of people here and there. They probably hate their lives and want to make everyone as miserable as they are. Been there done that.

Have you ever seen that show Quarterlife? In one of the episodes Dylan gets a job writing magazine articles and this one chick she answers to at work goes out of her way to make Dylan's job unbelievable. Even after the girl stole one of her ideas and presented it, Dylan warned her that she was going to get laid off unless she did something differently if I remember right. Some of the parts have been taken off youtube because NBC apparently owns it so no one can see it for free. Anyway after Dylan does this she doesn't have such a hard time at work. Sometimes people just need to see that there is such a thing as a good heart. When that doesn't help them then they are like that because revenge feels good. That is what's insane to me and that is the poison of the world.

Just keep on loving.

I also belive there are some amazing NT people ou thier, but sadley its a case of finding the nice ones from the bad ones and that applys to just about everything in life. Also to add not all people can be compatible with each other, I for instance could never be friendly with anybody who discrimated against any disabled people, somebody who is racist (properly racist im not gonna call somebody out on some comments they may make accidentally or a joke) and people who also discrimated against animals, but top of the list for me is me they have to accept my AS and value me as a person. I accept and take pride in my AS but don't like people to look at me solely for it I am me as they are them I dont viee them for being NT thier just a person, an individual.

you're down, but not out.

You have right to feel down because of all recent stuff that life has hit you with.

Glad to see that you're back, and posting here again.

That voice that tells you not to trust Lucy is itsself foolish. You have no choice but to trust Lucy because Lucy is 98 percent of the population. You have to play the game. You cant retreat to some all-autistic world that doesnt exist.

Feelings are only feelings... what you make of them in the end and where you go from the realization is more important.

just as we will always find good NTs,we will come across nasty autistics as well who have the mental capacity to know exactly what theyre doing,have personaly known fair share of them online and from living with them.
have known a lot of good NTs,from family,to care staff, to hospital staff, to neighbours etc,theyre no different to us in everything except neurotype so its unfair to treat them as a wholly diferent group.