being outted by your parents

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anyone else have this problem? my parents just seem to love to tell people about me

Of course. Parents always tell others about their kids disability.

No, thankfully my parents have never done that. IDK if it makes any difference that I was dx'ed as adult, but I doubt it. They've never been ones to just reveal sensitive things.

My mother is the only one that knows and she's never told a soul. To everyone else I'm the quiet, handsome guy who talks when he needs to.

Yeah, my mum did and does it occasionally. It used to bother me a lot but it doesn't bother me anymore. My mum is introverted and doesn't talk about her private life much but ,for example, it was mental health week at her school and the other teachers were talking about anxiety disorders so she told them about her daughter's anxiety and sensory issues with public transit and malls. She said that I had Asperger's.

*It would bother me if she told another person I know and see without asking me first.

I know my mother told other family members about my gender issues and my AS before I did.

My mother does this occasionally with things outside the major diagnosis type stuff. She will in front of me, start telling people about things that really shouldn't be told. These aren't embarassing things like baby stuff.

For example, I was checking out an apartment I want to move to and my mother was with me since she was visiting. At one point when the office lady mentioned there was free wifi in the community building, my mom started going on about how I could use it, and I didn't have internet at home, and I was silly to live without internet at home, and I was kind of offended by that. I did confront her afterwards about it, and she apologized.

She does this. There have been times, I tell her something minor, like one morning I had a really intense and weird dream, and hours later, visiting other family, they bring up the fact I had a weird dream, and I'm like, I didn't tell you this information. You shouldn't know this.... MOM!! !

I love my mother, but sometimes this stuff happens.

My father on the other hand, does not do this except with my grandmother and he filters quite a lot of stuff out so she doesn't get stressed.

After I was diagnosed, my mother told most people in my family, including my brother, and my grandmother. I had told her I didn't want it to be a secret but she should be careful about that because many people have prejudice or do not understand what AS is. I am actually grateful she told my grandmother and my brother because I wanted them to be aware of it but I had no idea how to do it without scaring them.

My mother doesn't believe I have an ASD at all. She thinks I was "cured" of it at age 5.

My father believes I "could have been a vegetable." He feels fortunate that I've become independent, not having to rely on him.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 15 May 2014, 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've only told my mother but she has told other family. I don't consider it a problem though because I'm tired of being misunderstood all the time, hopefully it can help people to understand me more. If not then who cares, it doesn't change anything anyway.

Ah yes, again, the memories come flooding back.

I remember my parents had a party, and I decided to go to my bed while the company was still there. I fell asleep, then woke up and was laying in bed. And I overheard my mom say "Michael is such a home body".

And another piece of the puzzle falls in place. I went to bed because of being overwhelmed, and my mom called me a 'home body' because its true, both because I have ASD.

This is almost what it seems like for me. My mom will tell any stranger, literally within ten minutes of their meeting me, "She has autism." I overheard her telling her friend and and the friend's friend, whom she had never met before, five minutes after they came through the door a few weeks ago, about the fact that I had kicked a hole in the wall upstairs during one of my meltdowns. The words immediately following that were, "She's autistic, so..." and I didn't hear the rest. The way she talks about it makes it sound like I'm mentally deficient. Sometimes I sort of feel like she uses my diagnosis as a curious badge of distinction: "Your kid's an honour student? Well mine has autism, so that makes her even more special...." It may just be me misreading the situation, she may just be trying to explain whatever odd thing I've just said or bizarre movements I'm making at the time, but it's starting to feel a little uncomfortable. She even told people before I was officially diagnosed, which made me nervous about any, "So when were you diagnosed?" questions that fortunately never came my way.

i don't think my parents out me as much as set the record straight. there's no way i could ever pass for anything resembling and ordinary kid, so they go ahead and answer the inevitable "what the hell is wrong with him?" question ahead of time. To those who can hide their autism so well no one knows unless a parent outs them, must be nice, thumbs up.

Well my father has pretty much outted me to my relatives Tho I think he's doing that more from a sense of pride in the fact that I took it upon my self to do the research on what Autism really is and paid out of pocket to get tested for Autism and am now looking to see what Job services are best suited for my needs rather then just "Oh look he has Autism"

I dunno about you guys but pretty much all my life I've had every label thrown on me some of which had NOTHING to do with what was going on in my life at the time not to mention a teacher telling me that I'm ret*d in front of a classroom full of students (that one hurt) and giving the fact that it's pretty much black and white that what I'm dealing with now and what I dealt with as a child so I guess he sees it as a relief that I do have Autism.

Oddly enough I'm thankful for the diagnoses as it give me a sense of who I really am and eliminates the guess work so many "professionals" before have done

Whew sorry if I strayed a lil' off topic

My parents have told lots of people about my diagnosis. (Relatives, teachers, boss, doctors, even the real estate agent for some reason).

I used to hate being outed by other people, and I was reluctant to out myself as well, though nowadays I usually just out myself before someone else has the chance to. It's not a big deal. I have Aspergers, so what?

Very often. I don't know how much it happens now, since I don't live with them. But it seems like they used it do it all the time and in the most embarrassing ways possible. And when I told them it was embarrassing, they became upset with me. And told me they would keep doing it.

I didn't like that not only would they do that, but they didn't consider my feelings at all when I told them that I didn't like that.

And yet they would never accept me expressing my gender in a feminine fashion. Or me as a bisexual. They yelled and screamed at me and told me to never tell anyone I'm bisexual and that bisexuality is wrong and that I need to fix myself.

They're willing to not only accept me as autistic. But they insist on sharing it with everyone they possibly can. Even in situations that it seems really embarrassing and degrading. The way they talk about it seems very patronizing, too. And they used to(or maybe still do) share lots of things about me in an embarrassing and patronizing way. Which I didn't appreciate at all. And there's nothing I could tell them to make them reconsider doing it.

And yet being out as bisexual and feminine has made them yell and scream and become abusive to me. And they want me to change and be deeply closeted. It's because of this that we're pretty estranged. I'm afraid to visit them because of some of the things they've said and done to me.