parenting concerns

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How many people on here are parents? My wife and I just had a baby in early January, and I am really worried that I'm not going to be a good parent. I worry that I don't have the tools to protect her emotionally and be able to provide those needs for her.

I'm a parent but don't have asd. Are you particularly addressing aspie parents or will I do?

Firstly, congratulations!

I think its the most natural thing in the world for a parent to worry if they're good enough. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses as a parent and the fact you are worrying means you will be putting a lot of thought into being a great parent I'm sure. And the good thing about kids is that they still love you - even on your off days.

I have two kids. As my dad had always taught me, worrying is a waste of time of energy. So I don't worry about being a bad parent or how my kids will feel about me. Yeah both my kids turn eighteen and they think good of me and don't think anything bad and I had wasted my energy worrying about being a bad mom. But I think all people worry when they have kids or before they have them. I used to worry about dropping my baby or what if I don't feed it enough or what if I feed it too much, what if I forget to feed it. Sometimes I can't help worrying. Then I started to feel worried about what if I forget my kid in the car since I had read anyone can do it due to a change in routine or stress or sleep deprivation. So I thought if I am so worried about it happening to me, it means I am less likely to do it since I would be making sure my kid isn't in the car before I lock it and leave it. I think some worrying may be healthy because then it means you are less likely to do that mistake and sometimes it gives us common sense and helps us make good choices.

First, Congratulations!

There is no reason why you shouldn't be a good parent, every child is different and has different needs. It reminds me about the ads where they tell parents you should play with your kids all the time and talk with them all the time ... well thank God my parents were not like that lol I just wanted to be left alone, read my books, and do my own thing. Anyway, mainly you're supposed to love them and protect them, no one asks you to be a psychologist nor to be a perfect parent (apart from some people who think they are always better parents than everyone else ... ignore them lol).

Good luck to you.

Wow four months already! Congrats! Don't worry...those first weeks are the hardest. I still remember how amazed I was that the hospital allowed me and my wife walk out of the hospital with a BABY! I really liked Dr Spock.

If I can give you a few suggestions...it would be to hold your baby often, take off your shirt and hold your baby when you give the bottle. Talk to your baby all the time. Read to your child, and start teaching your baby how to read soon (I taped 3x5 cards on everything with the word for what those things were printed on the card, then I would walk around babe in arms pointing at "wall", "lamp", "carpet," "bookcase," "Mommy" [just kidding]). Don't worry about your baby getting enough to eat, and never talk about food or give food as a reward. When your child is bigger, walking but not talking, don't stress about food. Offer it, if they don't want it after a reasonable time accept that. Clean up, and move on. I could rant...

Congratulations on your daughter! You'll make a great dad. Just the fact that you are asking is a big start. keep us posted on how she does. Get some sleep if you can!