I need some help overcoming phone anxiety +mini-intro

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Hello everyone, I've been following this site for a few weeks now and have randomly started posting onto forums. I'm a 37 year-old male that has spent most of my life wondering what the hell is wrong with me/why I don't fit in anywhere I go. I came across AS and started reading into it, and I can't possibly describe the mixture of terror, jubilation, and relief of how much this describes me! I've taken many online assessments and have scored heavily on the autism side of the equation on all of them. I've talked to my wife about it and she also thinks I may have it, because so many of the adult symptoms are relevant. I've also talked to my mom and although she's pretty ignorant on autism in general, I had many of the characteristics of Asperger's as a child. Why the hell did I have to be born in the late 70's?

I want to go see a therapist and begin the process of getting a diagnosed. I think it would make a tremendous difference and allow me to understand myself better, and possibly figure out how to fit in with the rest of the world and make friends, but the biggest problem is reaching out to make the call. I get so freaking anxious cold-calling anyone, nevertheless on something so potentially life-changing as this. Let's be real; I get anxious calling anyone. A part of me is worried that if I call, go through the diagnostics, and then it comes out negative, that I am just a crazy person, but maybe I'm already there with the life-long struggle with depression, anxiety, OCD, etc. Any advise on how to make that call? I seriously start to get panic attacks even thinking about doing it.

I am hoping to find some good support here, and possibly some friends. Thanks.

Here's how you make the call: Dial the number, wait for someone to pick up, speak when spoken to.

If you're that anxious that you "can't," make the call - get your wife to dial, forcing you to participate.

If you "can't," do that, try emailing the Doctor's office & explaining that you're too anxious to make the phone call to set up an appointment and would prefer to arrange an appointment via email OR have their receptionist phone you. That could work.

Just a side piece of advice, I found that reading "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome," by Dr. Tony Attwood was very very helpful. It's a crash course in ASD & a bit of a user guide to your brain and life. It's fairly inexpensive to order from amazon.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Email.

Email as first contact is common these days.

When you talk once the words are spoken that is it. Email gives you time to think about your message and correct errors before it is sent.

An expert would certainly understand why you prefer using that communications tool.

Perpetual Padawan,

Yes, making that call is tough but for me, making the call to book an appointment with my doctor to start the path twards a diagnosis was the best thing I ever did.

I remember sitting there telling my doctor "I think I have Asperger's" and explaining why. He was very kind and said "I don't know - I don't think so, but I'm not an expert on that so let's get you checked out".

Was diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome in my mid 40's, a few years ago.

Making that phone call is probably the hardest step but in the end it might be one of the best things you ever did. Go for it and good luck.

I just made the appointment for a "personal matter". My health is none of the receptionists business.

There are probably multiple ways to tackle the problem. An internet search will probably bring up a bunch of additional suggestions. I think it is a fixable problem.

I have it to some degree, but not severe. I will pass on one trick that helped me a bit, although it is in the silly/ridiculus category (but those sometimes work!).

Use annoying telemarketers, to overcome your nervousness, by doing or saying stupid things into the phone. Some things I have done is make fart noises, make Darth Vadar sounds, and encouraged my bird to squawk and peck the phone, while I was saying things like "Yeah! Peck the bad man!"

Its hard to take calls so serious after doing stuff like that.

I live in Canada - so the family doctor part was covered by our provincial (public) health care system while the sessions with the psychologist was covered fully by my employer benefits. If I did not have employer benefits my family doctor would have referred me to a psychologist or psychiatrist in the public system (I would have had to wait longer to see someone in the public system as my condition wasn't urgent but it would have been fully covered cost wise).

The psychologist did put me through formal testing as well as talking with me about how I am. From the results of both she made a formal diagnosis on paper that (with my permission) went back to my family doctor. I also took the diagnosis to my employer for workplace accomodation (cubicle in a quiet area, no fluorescent lighting in my area, my boss being made aware of my communication challenges, etc.). I work in a private but federally regulated company - as such they are subject to Canadian federal laws around accomodating the disabled in the workplace.

The psychologist gave me the tests to take home and fill in on my own time. The psychologist made the formal diagnosis after about five hour long sessions with her a week apart and her review of my test results. She also had access to my medical records at the local community hospital where I had been treated as an outpatient for anxiety and other issues when I had been in my teens.

Just act as shy as you want they will understand