What do you wish NTs knew/understood more about ASDs?

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Einfari
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19 May 2014, 5:50 pm

I am a college student on with high functioning autism. When I do internet searches about things people should understand more about ASDs, it is often written about children in a 3rd person perspective. Autism Speaks is also one of the first thing that pops up, but I am not of fan of them due to the fact that they give no money to autistic families and they treat it like a disease. They also aren't even run by people on the spectrum. I am just curious to say what people who are actually on the spectrum wish NTs knew or understood more. It would be great to see what people say on all ages and ends of the spectrum.



B19
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19 May 2014, 6:08 pm

I wish they would understand that the way they structure the work environment, gateway access to it (ie interviews based on open questions and body language etc), their opaque game-playing office politics, social exclusion and workplace bullying of ASD people all amount to a gross form of economic oppression against a minority group. They don't seem to have either the awareness of this nor any willingness to acquire that awareness.

Economic oppression of ASD people as a distinct group in society is not much talked about though it's impact is huge. Even ASD people don't seem to talk about it much, except on the basis of individual experience. Until we do, I suppose it's too big an ask to expect NT's to "get it"..



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19 May 2014, 6:14 pm

a big wish of mine is for people to realise those of us with low functioning autism [ie,those of us with some level of intelectual disability on top of severe or profound autism] are not all the same and just because some of us are able to communicate through typing doesnt mean we arent severely autistic or intelectualy disabled.

wish people woudnt make assumptions that those of us with LFA cannot contribute to society in any form.

wish people woudnt make assumptions that we have worthless crap lives and need curing,and those of us who hate the idea of a cure clearly dont understand severe or profound autism in their narrow view.
many of us are perfectly fine with who we are and our life,we see autism very different to how parents who live with us full time see it.

wish people woudnt assume only parents can speak for those of us with LFA,many of us are able to communicate well in text form and some can even write,we shoud have adapted self advocacy services available for the LF end of the spectrum instead of allowing a group who has a biased view of our autism speak for us.


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dianthus
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19 May 2014, 6:29 pm

B19 wrote:
I wish they would understand that the way they structure the work environment, gateway access to it (ie interviews based on open questions and body language etc), their opaque game-playing office politics, social exclusion and workplace bullying of ASD people all amount to a gross form of economic oppression against a minority group. They don't seem to have either the awareness of this nor any willingness to acquire that awareness.


Seconded.



lostonearth35
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19 May 2014, 6:57 pm

I wish they wouldn't see us as people who will never be happy or successful with their lives , that we will just die miserable and alone and trapped in our own little worlds and that we'll never have a real job or a love interest, which we so absolutely MUST need in order to be happy. :roll:



guzzle
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19 May 2014, 9:04 pm

I wish they could feel the sensory overload ASD people feel at times. Then they might begin to understand so much more...



CockneyRebel
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19 May 2014, 9:32 pm

I wish they would see that many of us are happy to be alive.


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20 May 2014, 1:41 am

I wish they understood the concept of not assuming that things we say or do are intentional. i.e. I think that a lot of frustrations NT's have with ASD's stem from their reactions to things we say/do because they assume we're doing them with the intent to annoy/frustrate/anger them and thus they react accordingly. Whereas if they understood that a lot of "annoying," things ASD people may say or do, or not do or whatever, are about as subconscious to us as breathing is for everyone and there's almost never an intent to be difficult for being difficult's sake.

I think that would go a long way in terms of smoothing things over between ASD brained people and the rest of the world.


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EzraS
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20 May 2014, 3:20 am

I say mainly not viewing it as a disease. I'd like not hearing things like "that poor kid what a shame". Or what wonderful people my parents must be because basically they could not handle being stuck with a kid like me, when they don't even know what having me as their kid would be like. Just not having a lot of conclusions based on assumptions. Not lumping us together. "my 4 year old cousin has autism and you're nothing like her!" Gee, what a surprise! :roll:



CJH123
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20 May 2014, 4:43 am

Not viewing it as a problem but being understanding that where all different and that we are people to with our own feeling, wants and desires. The "Little Professor" should be something complete not thought of why some of us are smart where not just like the next Einstein, also I wish people would see that we do actually care about other and we do want love, personally Iv always thought that not one NT girl iv talked to has even thought that I'd be the slightest bit interested in her. I just basically wish they would understand that like them we are all different and should not be judged on a set of stereotypes, we should be treated as individuals but understood, after all we are people like everybody else!



mr_bigmouth_502
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20 May 2014, 5:35 am

guzzle wrote:
I wish they could feel the sensory overload ASD people feel at times. Then they might begin to understand so much more...


Same here. I wish other people would feel the world the way that I do. The way NTs perceive the world, to me almost seems like they are the impaired ones, who have trouble deciphering what's around them.

I also wish NTs would understand that autistic adults exist, and that it affects us just as much as it affects children.

As well, I also wish NTs would understand that some of us view our condition as a gift rather than a curse, and that we don't WANT to be "cured". I mean, cure the people who want to be cured, but don't force a cure on me.

I also wish NTs would understand that we have trouble with things like body language and small talk, and that we're not insane for not using them or unintentionally using them improperly.

[quote="B19"]I wish they would understand that the way they structure the work environment, gateway access to it (ie interviews based on open questions and body language etc), their opaque game-playing office politics, social exclusion and workplace bullying of ASD people all amount to a gross form of economic oppression against a minority group. They don't seem to have either the awareness of this nor any willingness to acquire that awareness. /quote]

Thirded!



Einfari
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20 May 2014, 8:10 am

Now I'll post a few of mine.

I wish NTs knew that we are able to have empathy. We just have a difficult time trying to communicate our feelings at times, so we may give out the wrong impression.

I also wish NTs understood that a lot of us have normal cognitive abilities and can very easily tell if they talk to us like we're toddlers. It is very condescending and a lot of students used this tone of voice with me when I was younger.

It would be nice if NTs understood that we are not always shy and like isolation. Most people on the spectrum want to feel as if they belong just as much as NTs do. We often lack the communication skills that allow us to be as social as we would like to be.



seahawksfan46
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20 May 2014, 8:38 am

Just like 'no two individuals with Autism are the same', no two individuals who don't have Autism aren't the same either (which some seem to forget at times unfortunately) and it's probably the few arrogant ones out of the bunchthat some of us meet that makes us despise them. If I had to pick a few things for the ones who are ignorant to understand about us who have been diagnosed:

1. Most of us (not all) don't need pity. Respect us for who we are and we will offer the same respect. We just want to be understood, while some want a cure (not all).
2. Most of us (not all) do better if approached.
3. Making generalizations about us is just as ignorant as the generalizations towards the ones who don't have Autism.
4. We're not 'weird' as we're all 'different' in our own ways.
5. Just because we look attractive or normal doesn't mean that we don't have Autism as it doesn't have a physical appearance.

A lot of individuals without Autism want us to perceive them as the same.



seahawksfan46
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20 May 2014, 8:43 am

Alright, I meant the ones who are unaware of what Autism is and the ignorant ones.



B19
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20 May 2014, 2:47 pm

My second wish is that they would realise that we have the same basic emotional needs as the rest of the human race.

But NT's aren't good at applying that realisation to groups that they like to stigmatise.



snufkin
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20 May 2014, 10:59 pm

I wish they could understand that it is actually possible for people to function in ways that are fundamentally different from the ways in which they themselves function, i.e. that they cannot use the same frame of reference when speaking to me as when speaking to other NT's.

I also wish they would not assume I am trying to compete for dominance as soon as I say something that they do not agree about, or do not understand.

Also:
- It's a spectrum. Just because I'm good with words doesn't mean I can't have huge issues with other stuff
- Different, not less (i.e. I'm autistic, not a defective NT that needs "fixing")
- Listen to what I say, not what you think I mean