off topic responses

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I have this bad habit of responding to things in a conversation that has nothing to do with what the other person is taking about. It think it is because I make hyper associations or non traditional associations. I think I often associate things that others don't and things make sense to me that don't to other people. I don't do this all the time but I do it enough and it drives my husband up the wall. I know Tallyman, you had talked about how your wife will talk about things that happened before as if they were in the current conversation. I do that as well sometimes. But often times my responses are not from past conversations but just about topics that are completely off. Does anyone else do this and does anyone know why we do it?

It's more likely that some association has been triggered for you rather than just a random response. The brain has zillions of associative networks whirring away 24 hours a day below consciousness. Main thing is that you have interesting things to add - and you do.

Your comments are always courteous and pleasant to read and that counts for a lot Skibum

Seconded.

This happens to me a lot--I'll be reading or watching something, then get an idea that seems to be completely unrelated, or remember something "off-topic." Granted, upon further examination later on, I'll sometimes find that they were/are more connected than I realized.

I usually make off-topic comments if the conversation is boring.

I have been guilty of derailing conversations in the past.

It's like a compulsion with me. I have to do it.

I'm the same in real life.

I work hard to try to not do it these days.

I know I shouldn't do it-but I do it.

Sometimes, I like to say Hi to people, or ask a specific question, say, about an icon,, without PM them, since some people don't like to be PMd.

Whenever I find myself doing that, I'll try to write something relevant to the topic.

I do this. Quite a lot of the time it's about a conversation that happened at some other point and I just carry the conversation on as if it hadn't ended. Sometimes a response seems like it is relevant to the conversation even if it isn't but I'm not sure why I think its relevant.

Have you ever gone so far off topic that you realized it and then stopped mid sentence, tilted your head in a confused manner and asked "what were we talking about again?"

Yes I do this, it is so fking frustrating in real life because it is absolutely counter social and it makes us look so dumb. Everyone gives you that "your special" look then just goes back to what they were saying or they just interrupt you as fast as they can because they know what you are doing.

Thank you so much for the responses and the kind words in bold print. It's easy to be encouraging on WP. You guys are great.

I can smell Pepperoni.

I am always doing this during conversations.

People have mentioned it to me many times.

Thirded (Is that even a word?)

I do this constantly too. My mom says that part of the reason I do this is because I have associative thinking as opposed to logical thinking. I personally think it also has a lot to do with my little bit of ADD

I do it a lot, things remind of other things and the association isn't always clear to the people I'm talking to.

It's the result of our poor reciprocity. All people have associations that are irrelevant to the others in a situation, NTs intuitively know not to talk about them because it'll confuse, bore and alienate the others. The other day I took someone on a tour of a fascinating city, and this person had traveled from another country to see it, yet at each site instead of taking it all in, they were busy speaking their minds off about events and places from their past that had absolutely no relevance to me. Bored me and frustrated me to death. I'd never take them anywhere again. For this and other traits, I think this person may very well be an aspie.

I've done the one you said about adding to a conversation that took place, maybe, HOURS ago. I have the utmost admiration for people who can follow me-----like, if I do it in a group of people and a couple of them look puzzled, and someone says: "She's responding to a conversation we had an hour ago"----I think that person is FABULOUS!! !

Anyway, I had a light-bulb moment just now. My eldest sister---whom I'm sure is an Aspie, yet undiagnosed----does the thing you said about saying things that have absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. I've always, in my mind, accused her of being selfish and bringing the conversation back to focus on HER / things SHE'S interested in---but maybe she is just "being Aspie"----or, maybe it IS being selfish not learning social etiquette, or whatever----cuz I think it's terribly rude. I think people who "dive-bomb" conversations may be being bored, uninterested, whatever, and that's their way of changing the subject to something in which THEY'RE interested-----which is, of course, socially unacceptable----but, we all have to continually learn, I guess-----however laborious it might be......

I that thing Campin Cat where I will have a conversation that I am continuing from the past. I usually preface it though with. "do you remember when we talked about this and that..." because I have told that people can't put the pieces together if I don't at least preface it. The reason I do it is because of the association and it is all perfectly linked and makes very good sense to me and it's a natural flow of conversation for me. That is probably the same for your sister. I never do it to bore anyone or to just shift the conversation to what I want to talk about from a selfish standpoint. I really believe that it is a perfect flow in the conversation and usually don't understand why others don't see it that way at all. It makes no sense to me that they don't get the association or the correlation.

And thank you Moondust, for explaining that this is a reciprocity issue. That is another one of those words that I am trying to understand better besides the obvious lack of eye contact or not knowing how to say hello. Because I am so high functioning and as good as I am socially, I don't always understand how socially impaired I actually am until something like this is explained. But this is great because it helps me see myself more clearly. It is also very excellent because I am still in the process of my unofficial diagnosis and the psychiatrist has asked me to put together things about myself from how I see myself meeting the DSM5 criteria. She is, of course, putting together her own observations as well but she wants to see it all from my perspective also. So this is a great example of the lack of social reciprocity part.