Not Sure What to Think

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About a month ago I was hospitalized due to a major depressive episode. I started seeing a new therapist a week ago and had my second session with her this morning. The first session was just filling out paperwork and completing some kind of assessment where I was asked a bunch of questions about why I was seeking therapy, family history of mental illness, etcetera. As we were talking today she was able to quickly tease out that social awkwardness is a big issue behind my difficulties and struggles with anxiety and depression.

I told her how someone told me a while back, "When I first met you I thought you had Asperger's or something" and how that triggered an obsession with finding out more about ASD. She then asked me if I think I have Asperger's. I responded that if not, I have several traits. Her reply was, "Huh... See, I have a cousin with Asperger's and in meeting you I never would have thought that."

So, I don't know what to think. I go back and forth on this all the time myself. I definitely know that I don't behave like I did as a child and that is where I see most of the signs of Asperger's or at least the "clinically significant" ones. Every self-assessment I've taken online indicates the presence of aspie features. Am I seeing something that's not there? My psychiatrist in the hospital said, "Those tests are designed to catch everyone even remotely likely to show features, so false positives are highly likely."

Granted none of these people I have spoken to are specialized in adult presentation of autism or even ASD at all, but they're still professionals... Do I trust their opinions or continue to believe I may be on the spectrum? Do I challenge their opinion and provide evidence of my beliefs? Or should I just drop it knowing I'll be receiving therapy for my "social awkwardness" anyway?

I saw my psychologist for over a year before I got my aspergers diagnosis. I was seeing her for other issues. Then one session, we sort of branched out on a related topic and she picked up something when I started to explain my executive function issues with what she had advised me to do about what we had branched off into. She went into her copy of the DSM IV, looked up aspergers, and started reading off the symptoms, asking me to say yes if I had the symptom. Everything but two were yes. Later on, I realized that both the two I said no to were actually a yes.

Was I upset that it took over a year to realize this, and all of the other mental health professionals I had seen, had failed to realize I had aspergers?

No.

It's the principle of not seeing the forest for the trees. I had other trees which I was standing around, trying to figure out. The whole forest was around full of other things, but I had only gone to focus on those few trees I wanted to focus on.

I also understand that psychologists are just as human as we are. They have their own issues. A funny thing, was after reading the diagnostic criteria for aspergers to me, she had a realization that she fit enough of the criteria to be diagnosed with it. She saw her own psychologist and was diagnosed with aspergers as well. Mental health professionals have varying levels of experience.

One thing you will run into with those who can give a diagnosis is that if they see it as a meaningless diagnosis, one that won't change your life, then they more oft than not, will refuse to make the diagnosis. I personally stay away from them. There is a reason why every condition in the DSM is in the DSM. There is nothing in the DSM that is there because it is useless or won't matter if you get a diagnosis from it. Knowing that you have something allows you to confront it head on. There also might be less common symptoms that are part of it to be watched for you wouldn't otherwise associate or realize.

And last of all. You've only had two sessions. I recommend sticking it out a few more sessions. It might not be the Autism Spectrum you fall into. You may have other things that just cause the symptoms you experience. Two sessions isn't enough time to resolve anything whether it's just social awkwardness, autism, or something else.

Well the two thing that makes my autism diagnosis rock solid is the sensory issues and speech problems. Everything else is the psychological traits of autism which even NT's might experience from time to time.

So maybe try and understand if you have sensory issues and take a good look at your speech.

its worth paying for a assessment with a profesional who is experienced in assessing adults with ASDs.

anyone who says [and theres plenty of these- all over the internet and IRL] that someone cant be autistic because they dont act/look like someone they know needs ignoring as their view is based on ignorance not on fact- no two people on the spectrum are alike so there isnt any one profile that people with ASDs have to fit,its just a pity that the general public still views ASDs in this way.

Using that same line of reasoning, I've met enough people who are diagnosed Aspies, but hadn't they told me, I would've never guessed. Sure they seemed a little different, but I not so much so that their whole being screamed Aspergers. You know, that is why I'm afraid of seeking a diagnosis. I haven't had much luck with doctors, they don't seem to take me seriously and I don't want to think I'm going crazy for believing I am something that I'm not.

I at first didn't want to be labeled, but at one time I had to deal with the courts (custody dispute) and they wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me. mostly because I was picking their rules apart and being quite literal about it, I was finding loopholes in everything and it was starting to piss them off. so they ordered me to be evaluated.

I agree with KingdomOfRats, you should see a professional who is experienced with ASD, especially if you are pretty convinced that you have many traits. I can tell just by her comment about her cousin that your therapist doesn't have experience nor much knowledge about ASD. Every person is different, just because her cousin has certain traits it doesn't mean that every person with ASD will have the same traits and personality.