Aspie diagnosis: yes or no?

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Hi all!

I'm new to this community, but I've been grappling with this question for a while. I'm a self-diagnosed female aspie, and while I'm about 95% positive I would get an official diagnosis, I don't know if I want to. I would love your opinions/experiences/advice on the matter, as I am still young(ish - early 20s) and I have a lot of decisions to make in the future (some that I may not even be aware of).

The reasons I want one:
1) I can't tell my family about my having Aspergers without proof, because they're very sensitive about me (read into this: how a strained family coped with an aspie child, believing her to be normal but just wilfully difficult). I'm dying to tell them though, because it could make such a difference to how we interact, and I could finally explain why I find things difficult and I am not just "making a fuss".
2) I went to a therapist and she laughed, telling me women can't have Aspergers (also note I don't live in a very progressive country, but I'm moving to one soon where an official diagnosis would be possible). I almost want a piece of paper to say "Ha! You were wrong!"

The reasons I'm hesitant:
1) I don't know how employers react to this information - and I'm pursuing a career in education (which, I will say without false modesty, I am very suited to. I am a great teacher, and I love education). I would hate to lose that.
2) Other legal issues like adoption in the future (I don't want to have my own kids because there are too many kids already waiting for a family and love) or others which I haven't considered yet.

Please, if you have any words of advice to share, I would be so grateful!!

You don't have to tell your employer about an ASD diagnosis.

It shouldn't stop you from adopting--but note I say "shouldn't", because if the adoption agency is prejudiced enough, it can.

Here's the important question: Do you need something you can get with a diagnosis, but not without one? Do you need help? therapy? counseling? accommodations? If you need those things, then you need a diagnosis. If you don't--if you can get along without one just as well--then you may not even be eligible for a diagnosis, since autism is only diagnosed in people who are impaired by those autistic traits.

By the way, your family may be just as difficult afterward as before. My mom won't believe me, still won't believe me despite several doctors and a neuropsych exam saying I'm so obviously autistic it's ridiculous. She still thinks I was a badly-behaved, dramatic, difficult, strong-willed child.

This is something you do for yourself. You can't change your family. Maybe you'd be luckier than me, and they'd finally believe you when you say you have a disability; but maybe not. That shouldn't be why you get the evaluation.

BTW, if the therapist thinks "women can't have ASDs", she doesn't know enough about ASDs to make the diagnosis. We may be in the minority, but we certainly can have autism. You need to get yourself somebody who knows what autism looks like in order to get a decent evaluation! But you knew that already, I think.

I didn't know not disclosing it was an option! Yay!

I don't need/want to access any services or benefits associated with a diagnosis, so maybe I'm not eligible for a diagnosis after all - another nugget of wisdom I didn't have

When I read you description about your mom's reaction, I felt like "God, that's a copy/paste of my childhood experience right there!". So maybe the diagnosis is not the solve all I'm hoping it will be. Definitely worth considering, so thanks for highlighting that I'll also do a little more soul searching and figure out if I need the validation for myself, or if I'm happy with the knowledge I have to move forward.

Yes haha, when she said that, I'm pretty sure I snorted in derision! Maybe I can get an evaluation from a (reliable) specialist when I move.

Do remember having to work much harder to learn or do something, is a type of impairment. It's most common in the mild cases, where extra effort can still cover for autistic traits, but it can definitely cause burnout.

If you are sub-clinical, consider the term "broader autism phenotype". These are people who do not need a diagnosis, but who have many autistic traits, and many things in common with autistic people. They are not disabled, and so there's no need to label them; but there are quite a few of them hanging around on WP, simply because they see eye-to-eye with autistics better than with anyone else. BAP people are often family members of autistics.

Well that would explain my experience at university

I definitely will, I have a feeling BAP may become my new most common acronym! On a side note: I really appreciate the time you've taken to give me help and advice. Navigating life is such a mission sometimes and it's almost baffling (in a good way) to me how much a stranger is going out of their way with additional info and advice, just to help little old me. So thanks

Aww, that made me smile

You'll get used to it if you hang around here though! Give us a chance to lecture and we'll talk the hind leg off a donkey.

Hehe I look forward to it! There's nothing I love more than tons of new information and lively discussions!

I am not sure about BAP being related to autism, I suspect that a lot of people have a misdiagnosis and some times the "professionals" get it wrong big time. I thought that BAP is related to psychosis and I have seen some papers which suggest that autism and psychosis are at different ends of a range of states of mind.

The interesting thing is that the rate of AS / autism in woman may well be underestimated, I think that a lot of women with autism are less likely to get a diagnosis than a man with the same condition. While BAP may be over diagnosied in women.

By the way women with autism do exist, my wife is autistic.

Before you get a diagnosis bear in mind it may make it harder (maybe impossible) to get life insurance. I have heard a lot of bigoted nonsense from insurance sales people (they had no idea that of my state of mind or the fact that I know autistic people) who were trying to sell me an insurance policy which clearly values autistic life less than "normal" life. For legal reasons I will not name names, also it is possible that the person who made this bigoted statement to me did it out of ignorance after being told to make the statement by their employer. While this is a bit like the "Eichmann defense" ("I was only following orders") I hold the lower members of an organisation to a lower standard than those in charge.

I would like to welcome you to the wrong planet, you will get to meet a wide range of people from a diverse range of backgrounds and of a range of different types of mind.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Also take a look at her List of Female Asperger Syndrome traits, it is interesting http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... d4f6a.html

I dropped her like a ton of uneducated therapists! Best decision ever! Also, I checked out the link, it's great thanks! Scary how may Rudy got right there, it's like she's been watching me very 1984

I will have a look at the literature surrounding BAP, ASD and psychosis.... I have a feeling this evening will be a night of reading (yay!)

Thanks for the tip about life-insurance, another consideration to take in. And another thanks for the welcome, I'm looking forward to interacting with the great, wonderful and colourful minds here