I don't want to socialise.

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I hear all this about social skills training and workshops for Aspies. People keep telling me to go to social clubs to make new friends.

I don't want new friends. I talk to people online and I sometimes see one of my friends, usually at my place.

Is it ok to not want to socialise? Why do people not understand that I enjoy a life of relative solitude?

Does anyone else here prefer to be alone?

It's ok but you hamper your ability to deal with life's ups and downs without any kind of support network.

I don't mind support workers and my mental health team. I like practical support.

It's just the social bit I don't like.

I think there is a difference between being unwilling to socialise, and being unable to socialise.

If I were to be granted one wish, it would be for the ability to enjoy social interaction. If I knew I was going to enjoy it, I would do it as often as possible. But, actually, it's a bit like having teeth pulled - I know it has to be done, but I wouldn't ever do it for fun...

yes,have got no interest in interacting/socialising,never have done; have always seen people as being completely different concepts compared to how others see them,they are just objects to self,a part of the background.

The majority of aspies want to socialize and learn social skills, and most of us use this forum as an outlet to do both. Having said that, there is no shame in not wanting to.. if it makes you that uncomfortable you should have every right to limit your social interactions. Always do what makes you comfortable.

Thanks.

Other people pass me by and I take no notice of them. I'm more interested in studying the number plates on the cars that pass by, or if I'm at a train station, the signalling and the engine under the trains are interesting to look at too. People? I have no interest in studying people. Someone could dye their hair bright pink and I wouldn't notice.

I also enjoy solitude, in my opinion being social is very exchausting :/
I'm much more interested in information transfer then in "being social".

First of all let me state I am the same way. It seems most people do not understand or grasp the fact we enjoy solitude. Perhaps since we don't have the same need for socialization as others we are ostrasized and viewed as somehow lacking.

I don't see the point in being social. I see more point (and more enjoyment) in learning through textbooks and the internet.

Same for me

+1

I'm the same way.

Socializing is just tedious. I can't stand that people don't say what they want/need to say and instead 'hint' or bury the purpose of the conversation under minutes and minutes of small talk and false/superficial niceties.

For me, the ideal 'being social' is doing something together with people.. a purposeful gathering.

Have you ever seen the movie 'The Man from Earth' SteelMaiden? Its a movie that takes place entirely in a small house and its a bunch of people just talking. However, its not small talk. The conversation alone is the entire story of the movie.

That is the kind of socializing I would find interesting and engaging.

No I haven't seen that film. I like conversation about science. Here all people talk about is the weather, what they did today and football. It's all so banal. The carer here thinks I should 'learn' small talk. I told him it's pointless and I have no intention of learning it.

There's nothing wrong in not wanting to socialize. If you wanted to but are having difficulties, that's another thing, but if you just do not want to and feel fine without it, that is how you are and ought to be respected.

I'm the same way. I can socialize but I don't want to as much as the rest of the world seems to want to. It's like, broccoli is okay and you don't hate it, but you don't like to eat it as much as another vegetable that you enjoy a lot more. It's individual tastes, or in this case, tolerances.

Too much forced socializing for whatever reason, is a massive strain on me and I "pay" for it later in the form of stress, meltdown, and a lot more recovery time spent staring into space in the sanctuary of my own place, instead of being able to be productive or even just wash my dishes. So, for me, trying to socialize more than I want to is actually harmful.

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The thing with me is that I do want to socialize, but I can't get it to work no matter how hard I try. it's frustrating.

I compartmentalize my socialization. I only like to socialize with certain people in certain situations. I am pretty good at socializing, not as good as an NT but better than a stereotypical Aspie. Since my dad's job had us constantly moving I was actually forced to learn social skills that way from a very young age.

But I don't always like to socialize. Depending on the situation or the people I am with, it can be very very draining and sometimes I am afraid to say or do the wrong things. There are maybe three people that I can be completely 100% myself with. So when I am with just those people there is no pressure and I can be completely uninhibited. Then socializing is really fun and not draining and I really enjoy and even crave that time with them. Other friends of ours, I really enjoy and trust but I can't spend huge amounts of time with them because I can get exhausted easily. Because of the nature of our friendship, there are certain parts of myself that don't come out so I am more subconsciously on guard and that gets tiring. Other people, I try to avoid talking to as much as possible because I don't trust them. I don't feel safe with them. That does not mean that I might not trust them eventually but until I do I try not to socialize with them. If I am around them I just kind of go off to a corner and not talk.