"We ret*ds need to stick together."

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That's a quote from my ex-boyfriend. I disagree with it. I don't think it's a good thing to only interact with non-NTs. He told me this when I told him that I'm planning on making friends with more NTs. Mainly because I rarely have satisfying conversations with non-NTs. I can only have good conversations with non-NTs if we happen to share interests.

I think you should be friends with and have conversations with everyone who is willing to talk to you or be your friend regardless of their neurology or whatever issues they may have.

DK - there is a generational difference here. In my time, you either behaved or you misbehaved - there were no other labels. Our parents' worst fear was that we would be influenced by 'the wrong sort'. When I was 15/16 years old I had a friend. He was the only friend I had, and he was suddenly and inexplicably whisked away to live with a family member many miles away. I was gutted. 20 years later, we made contact, and I discovered that he had been whisked away because my friendship with him was regarded by his family as a 'bad influence'.

I agree that it is hard to have a satisfying conversation with a non-NT - I tried a few 'groups', but walked away. I admire your decision to make friends with more NTs, and I really hope you are successful.

I don't see why people can't just be friends with others they get on well with and/or have good conversations with, regardless of neurology either. If they both consider each other friends, then I'd consider it a friendship. :s If the people you tend to find a good match for satisfying conversation usually happen to be NT, then that should be fine as far as I can see.

Very sorry to hear about what happened with your friend, Mr Grumpy.

Don't like the way he said it, but I kind of agree that we should stick together at least a little. Since, a lot of us get bullied being alone. But, I also find that that sticking together is hard, because all of us have very different personalities.

I'm scared of making too many friends with non-NTs because I think that would draw too much attention to my differences.

Making friends with NTs is just fine.

However--we shouldn't avoid other autistics. As a stigmatized minority group, we need to support each other, simply because it's the right thing to do. Getting to know other autistic people is important--otherwise we are isolated, and we are weaker alone. Our NT friends may defend us--if they really are friends, they will--but they don't share the same experiences we've had just because we're autistic. Being autistic gives us an advantage when it comes to understanding the problems facing other autistic people, because we have often faced them, or feared facing them, ourselves. That's an advantage we oughtn't to ignore--it's the first step of advocacy already done for us.

I don't distinguish between NTs and non-NTs, I'm equally unsocial with everyone.

I'm not planning on advocating for anyone or anything. I just want friends.

I actually find that this is how a lot of non-NTs feel, since it makes them more aware of all the traits that are painted as negative, instead of just letting them go and moving on. I was able to find a balance for myself though. I don't fixate on it too much, but I don't mind looking into it occasionally and hanging out with non-NTs.

I think I would just be really happy to have a couple really good friends, NT or not.

Sorry but anyone who calls me a ret*d is going to get punched.

More than once.

exactly the same here and am intelectualy disabled,he can be self deprocative all he wants but he shoudnt be including his girlfriend in his derogatory caterwauling.

In my opinion I believe that aspies and others on the spectrum shouldn't have a double standard. We should accept each other as well as NT's. Everyone has their own baggage, if it isn't ASD than it's something else.

There are so many varibles with people, some people chick and others don't, but no one should discriminate against one group of people.

As for myself I get along with some NT's and some aspies, it depends on the individual.

DK - you mentioned earlier that you can properly relate to non-NTs only if there is a shared interest. I think the same applies to all relationships. Amongst 'blokes' in the UK, there seems to be a near-universal interest in football/soccer. This interest covers the entire range of humanity from highly-paid media pundits, through academics, politicians and members of the UK royal family (some of whom, I suspect, are simply doing what Aspies do - ie mimicking the behaviour of the masses), down to wannabe trendies, genuine enthusiasts and committed troublemakers.

I have no interest whatsoever in sport of any kind, but it is impossible to avoid picking up snippets of information about these things. Just occasionally, when struggling as usual to find some common ground with a fellow human being, I have been able to make a contribution to a conversational exchange about football, or sport in general. The sense of relief which instantly engulfs the other person is sometimes so palpable that it makes me want to laugh.

I think that sport is probably the best form of social interaction ever. It can accommodate any and every body. It can satisfy any number of obsessional behaviours (becoming a world number 1, collecting statistics etc) and it can provide a means of communication between people who cannot easily communicate in other ways. I really wish I had understood this when I was a child.

As it is, I occasionally enjoy being dragged into a quiz night team by the sister of an acquaintance of mine. I usually have never met any of the other team members, and the need to concentrate on the quiz makes small-talk unnecessary.

I think I understand 'friendship' much better than I did when I was younger, but I long ago learned that 'friendship' is something which I will never experience.

er NT's have issues too. They also have their quirks. Everyone is an individual with them just as it is with us. So you should judge a potential friend but the quality of his or her character not by his or her neurology.