Another new guy? Wow!

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Hi guys!

As you may have known from the title, this is my first post, and I have a few questions for you veteran and/or other aspies like me. (And please excuse my poor english at times :3)

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was 5 years old, the biggest motive around this was that I struggled (and still do) with something called Maladaptive Daydreaming. If you don't know what that is, it's basically a thing when you pace or rock back and forth while being in your own little world, kinda. Another reason I was diagnosed with Asperger's was that when I was a kid, when the other kids were playing with play-doh, or making poop-jokes, I used to bring biology books to the kindergarten, I loved to read about cells and the digestive system alot when I was there. Everyday, I was reading biology books in my kindergarten, and this attracted attention after a while. So a very nice Danish caretaker called in my parents for a meeting, where she explained that I was expressing some "unusual" behavior. From there, they made an appointment with the local hospital, where they screened me through tests and whatnot. I don't remember much of this, but I do remember that I was pretty scared and confuzzled (thumbs up for the guy that gets that) And before you knew it... Asperger's...
My parents were crying because of it, and about 5 months later, they divorced (not connected to the diagnosis) This left me alone with my mom, who put me in special education, and I absolutely hated that, I was reading biology books! I didn't need special education! So therefore, most of my biology interests died with me going to special education. So did my social life, and so did my skills, all I did was to play on the computer, I became very disorganized unless my special teachers were there. So yeah, it basically ruined my life, and I'm still paying to this day. A very big stereotype of aspies is that they're good at math, but I never was, most presumably from the special education, good at math. This was a big bummer. BUT.... before I go and tell my whole life story for you guys, let's start with some questions:

1. How do some of you handle being treated differently? I have always hated being treated differently. The special education made some students avoid me as a whole, because they assumed I was ret*d or something. But because I am so disorganized, I need a little help sometimes, and I have very mixed opinions about that.
2. Are most Aspies born with great Math skills, or did you have to learn them all by yourselves? I am very fixated with math at the time, I really really want to get better, but I just don't bother to read the text books or anything! I keep saying to myself "If you don't bother even reading the text-book, how the hell are you gonna get better that way?" This really de-motivates me at times, I am still struggling many times with this.
3. Have one of you been in special education? If so, why? Did it help? Did it make matters worse? Please explain
4. Do some of you get alot of 'paranoid'/negative thoughts at times? I can come with an example: Whenever a cute girl looks at me for a brief moment and smiles, I smile back, but in m head, alot of negative thoughts appear: "Maybe she looked at me because she knows that I was in special education. Maybe she knows I'm an Aspie!" Etc. If you guys sometimes have these thoughts, do you have any coping methods for dealing with it? Thanks!
5. What are your current obsessions? Aspies usually have special obsessions. At the moment, mine is about the biggest drug lords in history.
6. Does some of you take medications? If so, against what? Is it effective against the thing you take it against? I have been juggling a thought about being prescribed Ritalin back and forth in my head, I think it will make me concentrate on learning math, but then again, I don't wanna be a zombie.

Well, that's pretty much the questions I have right now for you guys. I'm very new here, so any answers would be greatly appreciated! Thank you guys!

-Simon

1) I have always hated being treated differently, and like a child. It just sucks.

2) I am terrible at math and I always have been.

3) I haven't been in special education, so I don't know about it.

4) I have tons of bad thoughts, but mine are usually about people dying or being assaulted or something.

5) My current obsessions are with watching TV on my computer and with being famous and being on TV.

6) I take a lot of meds but I am slowly going off all of them.

Thank you so much for answering! I'm kinda jealous of alot of you guys because you didn't have to go to special-education. I've been treated differently and institutionalized just because of being myself, that bothers me alot too. Very much.

You don't say how old you are.
Yes, it was a big mistake for the parents to cry in front of you, and an even bigger mistake to let the school put a child in a special ed class just because his interests were a little unusual. Trusting experts is usually a mistake. But what's done is done and you won't get those years back.

What grade are you in now, and are you still in the same school system? (I'm guessing that you are in high school.)

Being disorganized means that you need a support person part of the time in the regular classroom, not segregation.
That is the law. Are you at least getting a support person now? Or some kind of system to help, like a journal or planner, signed by the teacher every day.

By the way, a special interest should be encouraged, both because it is good for you and because it could lead to a successful career.
If they try to take that away again (like they did with the biology) you are dealing with an incompetent who landed in the wrong job. I don't know what you can do with the history of drug lords, but go with it anyway and see where it leads. Maybe you can ask to do a major report on that instead of some other school project.

Not all Aspies are good at specifically math, but most are particularly good in some narrow field.
Beating yourself up because you can't focus on the math won't help. Again, you need some kind of support.

I don't know much about drugs such as Ritalin, except the horror stories I hear around places like WP.
You are right to be hesitant. Drugs should be a last resort, AFTER you and the school have really tried a more sensible approach. My personal prejudice is that it will do more harm than good. The math won't be worth much if you develop brain or spinal tumors.

I am in the same school system and right now i'm around 9th Grade, just before high school. The special ed was dropped about a year ago, they made it into that my teacher slips me a private plan about what I'm gonna work with on thursday, friday, etc. I am very happy that we cut out the special ed. I will probably not take ritalin after all, it just supresses who I am. But ever since I was born, people have always wanted me to change from the person I truly am, thorugh therapy, instututionalizing, etc. Many have still not understood that I am who I am! I've had a few depressions here and there the last years, but I'm looking upwards now. I should have joined WP many years ago. I am very good at writing, and taking my feelings and emotions onto paper, but I suck at it verbally, so that's a very big plus.

Wow. I wish I could do all that and think like that when I was your age.
Stick to your guns, kid. You know better than anyone what's good for you.

I just had another thought, inspired by this thread and another current thread. And my own personal life.

It's fairly common for Aspies to write better than we talk. I know it's true for me.
In addition to the weekly plan from the teacher, which is only one-way communication, once a week,
Would it be helpful to have an on-going e-mail conversation with your most supportive teacher?
(Whichever teacher / support aide / social worker / staff person makes you the most comfortable. And by that, I mean YOUR choice, not theirs. I know that our out-dated, industrial-age school system wants us to believe that people are inter-changeable, but the simple truth is that they are not. You are more comfortable with some people than others, for a reason. And there's really no need to explain why.)

Anyway, I would think that an on-going, written, two-way dialogue with a truly supportive person would be a big help to anyone, especially when you're still in school.

Am I re-inventing the wheel here? Has anyone done something like this?

1. The only person who really treats me differently is my mom; it's nothing major, but she sometimes has different expectations for my behaviour than she does with my little sister, like she doesn't trust me to manage myself safely in situations where she has total faith in my sister, which is kind of annoying.

2. I'm rubbish at math. My ability to do it is in the "high average" range, but I hate it so much that I never do it, so I'm terrible at it.

3. I was never in special ed., but I did have a 504 plan in elementary and middle school. Given how much I struggled socially, I think I would have preferred special education, or at least time during the day when they taught me the stuff I didn't understand so I didn't spend my entire childhood a complete loner.

4. I don't think I have a lot of paranoid thoughts, mostly they're about awful things that will befall me for some mistake I made, like the time a bus had to swerve into the next lane because I slammed so hard on my brakes at a yellow light I should have gone through; I was terrified I was going to get seen on the traffic cameras and hauled off to jail for reckless endangerment, and then when I didn't, that I was going to get a traffic ticket. I spent the whole day petrified that the police were going to show up at the door.

5. My two current primary obsessions are X-Men and dinosaurs. I love the idea of mutants with powers that make them different than normal humans, but that also sometimes cause problems; the entire idea of the X-Men is like a perfect analogy for autism.

6. I've never taken medication for my behaviour, and I can't think of any I might take that would be helpful.

1. I have always felt different - I have always been different and have never known it any other way. I was lucky though. People have mostly ignored me. I never got picked on (much).
I have always relished in the fact that I am different - that I dance to the beat of my own drum. I don't want to be like humans.

2. Mathematics was always a favourite subject of mine. At school, I was in the top class for Science and Mathematics. The rest, I didn't care about.
I'm 47 now and I still enjoy Algebra, Trigonometry, etc. - It's been a Special Interest of mine since I was young. Not saying I'm good at it but I LOVE it!

3. I was never in special ed. either but then, I went to school back in the 70's. Back then, there was no such thing as Asperger's. We kinda all got lumped in together. We were just viewed as quiet or weird or trouble makers, difficult etc.

4. I don?t have paranoid thoughts but I do get a lot of disturbing, violent, horrible thoughts. Obsessive thoughts but then, I do have Pure-O!

5. My main Special Interests at the moment are Myna Birds & Psychology.
My life Long Special Interests are Astronomy, Mathematics & Computers. They kind of tie in together! ♦

6. I used to take Anafranil (Clomipramine) and Prozac (Fluoxetine) for my OCD but I don?t anymore! Never could stand taking pills!! !



♦ and they'll come in handy if I get the opportunity to navigate my way back home

1. How do some of you handle being treated differently? Not brilliantly I like to be understood for my diffrences and accepted, but treated as fairly by everybody.

2. Are most Aspies born with great Math skills, or did you have to earn them all by yourselves? Nope I still don't have great math skills and had to learn them, I got a C in maths overall but no im not goid at maths.

3. Have one of you been in special education? If so, why? Did it help? Did it make matters worse? My mum got me a place in a unit for AS because she thought it would make it better for me and secondary easier, it helped me do new things and feel comfortable work hard etc but it made me feel very isolated as other kids where all informed of me and I am still very high functioning enough to pass as NT if im not stressed but it also ment I got used to support and became unable to cope and do myself, something which currently a year on in sixth fourm im stilk struggling with as I have no support not, however being thier did not help me branch out.

4. Do some of you get alot of 'paranoid'/negative thoughts at times? I can come with an example: Whenever a cute girl looks at me for a brief moment and smiles, I smile back, but in my head, alot of negative thoughts appear: "Maybe she looked at me because she knows that I was in special education. Maybe she knows I'm an Aspie!" Etc. If you guys sometimes have these thoughts, do you have any coping methods for dealing with it? Thanks!
Yes all the time and same in your case, I really want a girlfriend but I have issues also because everyone knows about my AS espicaly the girls and im super soft and shy, plus years of support mean I'm to scared to go up and even try to talk with one. I cope barely its hard and recently has driven me to start seeking help as I can't cope with these feelings no longer.

5. What are your current obsessions? Well video games lol, computer's that's always bern one and I guess actually wanting a relationship.

6. Does some of you take medications? If so, against what? Is it effective against the thing you take it against? Not atm but maybe as im seeking help I shall but I will decide when it comes around to it.

Thank you all so much for all your answers! Just a little update thing: I've begun jogging and running a lot for exercise, and it really makes me feel really good. To all of you who aren't very healthy or social, I recommend exercising. It clears my mind, and is better than any kind of medication out there

1. How do some of you handle being treated differently? I stopped caring mostly, but sometimes I still get frustrated by it.

2. Are most Aspies born with great Math skills, or did you have to learn them all by yourselves? No, I have bad math skills.. I hate math because I was abused while I tried to learn math because I didn't learn like everyone else, mostly by my father.

3. Have one of you been in special education? If so, why? Did it help? Did it make matters worse? It didn't help, it didn't make it worse it just was.

4. Do some of you get alot of 'paranoid'/negative thoughts at times? Yeah, I can attribute some of that to social anxiety which makes me have some paranoid thoughts like that at times.

5. What are your current obsessions? rocks, video games and history of the general area in which I grew up.

6. Do some of you take medications? No I don't, I see a therapist regularly though.

I like walks, never thought of running though even though I know people who do and say its good.

I also like walks, they clear my mind up, and allows me to spend time with my animals.

I was really vague when I said that was my only interest. My obsession or narrow interest is history in particular, world wars, the medieval times, the fall of communism. Everything that has to do with history.

I'm very sorry for you, some people just doesn't want us to be who we really are, I'm afraid

This is a good description of me, except that special education has done nothing but hurt me. I poured most my meds down the sink or spit them out after my parents left the bathroom. The bad thoughts thing may be OCD, because it is one of my symptoms.