Question on memory / ability.

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Of late, my almost 5-yr-old seems to have realized exactly how to get to the community swimming pool. We have no idea how he learned the way there as the pool was a new winter addition to the community and has not been open to the public yet (will open in the Summer). It is quite possible that he found it out by accident when he bolted from the home one day, then just retraced his path subsequently each time he had an opportunity to leave the house. It isn't often that he goes off on adventures on his own, as we rarely take our eyes off him, but it is starting to happen as he has learned to undo the front door and is a surprisingly fast runner, who is gone before you know that he is.

My real question is not how to stop the bolting - this is going to be difficult and just calls for caution 24/7 - but my question is on working memory. He is non-verbal and has little to no communication skills / interest in communication, so i cannot get any answers out of him. I am quite impressed with his ability to find his way to a specific / preferred place, after just learning it once ! It is a matter of worry that he does not come home on his own, but I doubt that he cannot. He probably can retrace his steps back, but lacks the motivation to do so, until someone redirects him home.

My question is - does this indicate that he has more abilities than those stupid school people gave him credit for ? If he can recall exactly how to manipulate the door to get out of the house and make straight for a highly preferred place, how can he possibly have MR ?

BTW, the pool is / will always be locked, and will remain so, even after it is open and people are using it. It can only be opened with a key / passcode combination (many young & curious children here, hence this additional safety precautions). Most folks in the community and the people who will be in charge of the pool know that he is non-verbal, and to call us if they ever spot him there. We are having another dead bolt installed at the top of the door for added safety because of my fears of night wandering (this kid rarely sleeps and I am terrified he might open the door and run away in the dead of night) ! He can swim, but obviously is unsafe to be left unsupervised in the water even for a few seconds.

I am starting to see signs of intelligence and just need to know how I encourage him to keep progressing. If he can memorize a route, he cannot possibly be cognitively challenged, can he ? Or am I grasping at straws ??? I would prefer honest answers, please don't feel the need to "spare my feelings". I have burned through my emotions a long time ago, all that remains is a need to know so that I can plan / manage my expectations while doing my best for him. I want to know if he has potential because I have been thoroughly discouraged about his prognosis in the past, but now see things I probably wouldn't have associated with someone who truly has cognitive impairments. The lack of any words at close to 5 is a huge red flag but .... ! !! !

Thank you for responding.

I think they have GPS devices which could be placed on kids, if they bolt.

Yep...your kid is showing signs of intelligence--the finding of the pool is ample evidence of that.
Progress is definitely being made. How is the toileting going?

Still on a very right schedule with no initiation of toilet breaks. Massive accidents if we "forget" the schedule. He knows what to do in the bathroom, but does not seem to understand that it is the only place he has to pee / poop in. But to be honest, he is getting better than he was 2 months ago.

It seems as if he'll get it, eventually.

Keyword being "eventually" ! !

How does memory, and the ability to retrace paths, tie in to intelligence ? I know it shows potential but how does it demonstrate intelligence ?

Don't let anyone tell you he isn't smart. It is in his best interest for you to believe he is intelligent.



With all that hypothetical aside, it does sound like he has some intelligent traits. To be able to find places geographically as easily as he is able to do means the areas in his brain that deal with these things is well organized.

He might also enjoy stereognostic activities.

The ability to retrace paths is tied to cognition; therefore, it's tied to intelligence.

Without cognition, there would be little (noninstinctual) intelligence.

Thank you. I will look into stereognostic activities. We have tried to do "feel & tell" activities before, but because he doesn't say a word, these were exercises in frustration for him and for us.

I forgot to mention that he does know how to get home on the days that we do park on the street (even if it is very close to the home). But that is a regular affair, unlike the pool where we rarely go (since it isn't yet open to the public).

Thanks. Do you have ideas / tips on how to develop this more ?

You can do "feel & match" instead of "feel & tell".

I am going to sound dumb, but could you explain how this works ? Do you hide similar items and have him match items that "feel" the same ??

Just want to make sure I do this right.

Many ways. Most of which you've probably doing already. Flash cards, attached to what they represent, are quite useful. If he wants something, force him to EARN it in some way, by requesting it (preferably) verbally, or through some kind of gesture. Engage with him. Praise him when he accomplishes something. Say what common items are, encourage him to try to say them.

I'm not knowledgeable about computer-based educational items, but they are useful, too. Determine his special interests, take advantage of them.

Make sure he knows the directions to his home from any place where he frequents. This teaches him awareness of his surroundings.

It's not a dumb question.

You'd have to play around with the idea and see how it works for you guys. But, I would start with a few small objects that you have pairs of (ideally, they would be objects he is already familiar with...if not, then offer to let him play with the objects first).

Put one of each in a bag ("hidden") and one of each on a small defined space (a washcloth would be a good size).

You can do the activity until he seems interested and wants to take over. (Or, another way, that works for you.)

Stick your hand in the bag and feel the object. With your hand still in the bag, choose it's match with the other hand. Put it in a new location. Pull the object from the bag out and lay it next to the other object--making a pair.




That's not the only way to so it, but it's one way.

if he was ID,am of the belief he woud struggle greatly with going through all the steps to get to the pool,used to be a 'runner' as well from places that werent secure but when locks were involved was unable to get out,the concept just didnt come to self.
without being told till last week,mine [ID diagnosis] was reassessed at a specialist intelectual disability acute hospital late last year under a different manual [diagnosed with MR] so for self its correct as it hasnt changed since childhood,it might change for son as he gets older-a lot of classic autistics diagnosed as MR/ID/LD in childhood end up losing it later on as they get more verbal and given more independance-for them; the severity of their autism conflicted with their every day functioning as opposed to them being on the 'low functioning spectrum' AKA ID.

or...he may be ID,its very hard to diagnose in those of us with severe or profound autism unless assessed by expert specialists in ID.

Wow the school assumes your kid is mentally ret*d because they have autism? that is actually pretty ignorant on their part...being non-verbal doesn't really have anything to do with intelligence as far as I know a lot of times people think non-verbal autistic kids can't hear them or understand if they talk about the child in front of them but much of the time they can very much hear and understand. But yes seems like it would take some cognitive ability to do all that doesn't mean there are no cognitive difficulties at all.

In my opinion one of the best things to do is make sure you aren't assuming he is 'stupid' or unintelligent or has no cognative process whatsoever....basically make sure to acknowledge he is an individual person with his own personality and keep in mind lacking the skill to verbally communicate isn't a sign of lack of intelligence its a lack of ability to use verbal communication. Some non verbal autistics can communicate by typing/writing so perhaps making an effort to encourage him to further reading/writing skills because then if he remains non-verbal he could probably communicate that way. Of course he has some sort of potential, but it depends on what you consider potential being he's 5 I feel it's probably to early to assume he can never live independently, though even if he did continue needing support in life it doesn't mean all is lost. As for the school situation, if they are viewing him as generally lacking any cognative ability I can't help think thats going to hold him back quite a lot...not sure of a solution but that is concerning, I mean if they treat him like hes 'ret*d' what is he going to think about himself?

Also just a thought...he does get plenty of time to burn energy off right? You say he can swim so I assume you have taken him swimming and what not...but yeah perhaps more physical activities or more often might burn off some of his energy so he isn't so intent on getting out and running off on his own...or maybe he already gets plenty of that and just has really high energy.

I know you said that your question is not how to stop the bolting but have you put safety latches on the tops of your doors that he can't reach or maneuver or even deadbolts that he can't unlock? Then at least you can know that he can't get out on his own.