I am stuck in a really messed up situation. I am 27 year old with no job and I graduated from university 2 years ago. The job situation in my country is s**t and the only way to get a job is to have connections and network which is really hard for me due to my low functioning autism. The only other options left for me is to move to another country with better job opportunities or get a remote job. I can't move to another country because of family complications and I am pretty much stuck in this country for now. So moving isn't an option.
The other option is getting a remote job which is much much harder than most people make it sound. You need to be very highly skilled in certain areas like coding, graphics designing, stuff like that and getting my skill to that level will require a lot of time and work. I need a job right now. I know there are jobs like call center service but I don't want to do that kind of work because I don't like taking s**t from people as it triggers my cptsd.
I don't have a very supportive family and if I don't get a job soon chances are high I will get kicked out. I have been jobless since graduation and it is really embarrassing for my dad's social status that his son is unemployed and he hates me for it. He has been pretty much an a*sh*le bully to me for my whole life and sadly I don't have anywhere else to go.
You might ask why didn't I tried harder and study these last 2 years for getting a remote job? I tried but I have cptsd due to bullying and I am suicidal. I thought I could end myself but I am not man enough to do it and I am stuck with my s**t life. I spent last 2 years watching tv shows and playing games because I couldn't cope with anything anymore. My cptsd is so bad that it has manifested into physical problems like heart pain, high heart rate etc. I still tried hard to focus on studying and working harder to find a remote job but it feels so difficult, I don't know how other people do it. Now I realize that 2 fu*king years have passed me doing jacksh*t and this giant gap is gonna leave a nasty mark in my cv and I will have even less chance of getting hired.
I can't get anything done at all. Idk how other people get jobs so easily but I am struggling so bad for years. I am not sure how much long I will have a roof over my head and I can't find any mental peace. My life has just been endless torture. As if being bullied to death by everyone in school and university wasn't bad enough, now I have to deal with unemployment and poverty. It's like I was born to be mentally tortured for the sick twisted pleasure of some evil omnipotent being. It never ends for me. I am just too f*****g stupid for life and I should have never been born.
20 Aug 2023, 3:35 am
