Do you ever feel annoyed about what people think of mild AS?

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serenaserenaserena
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18 Jun 2014, 12:39 pm

Of course, autism is a spectrum, but you still must have significant traits of it to even be diagnosed with any mild form of ASD. Even I am diagnosed with "mild Asperger's," and my traits are prominent, although my counselor has pointed out some traits of mine to my mom that are "very significant" and "severe," because traits still vary, no matter where you "fall on the spectrum."

I feel a little bit annoyed that there are apparently people that think that mild AS means that core traits aren't significant, because they still have to be quite significant to even be diagnosed with mild AS.

A real-life situation is what brought this up, but I took it out, because the discussion was starting to be about that person, and I don't want to discuss him under these particular circumstances here.

What do you feel about this kind of thing? Also, I do know that they're all ASD now, but counselors in my area are still using separate diagnoses according to my counselor talking about other counselors and whatnot.


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Last edited by serenaserenaserena on 18 Jun 2014, 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

daydreamer84
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18 Jun 2014, 12:56 pm

Yes, I am annoyed by this. I think ASD has been romanticized and some people think mild ASD is the same as being a smart nerd or a little quirky. This minimizes the disorder , it makes light of it.



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18 Jun 2014, 1:37 pm

I'm not annoyed by it.

Everybody lacks wisdom of certain subjects/issues at some stage, and it just so happens that your friend seems to be in that position regarding AS at this moment.

You are probably right in saying that he is 'no way' an Aspie, but if he's searching for answers then he definitely has unresolved difficulties. Those difficulties may range from genuine, mental conditions/disorders to questions natural of humans (e.g. why do I think this way while no one else seems to?).

ASDs are a serious condition, but they are certainly not exclusive in an individual's search for identity. While they have been romanticized by the media to a degree, it's not nearly as bad as one might think. There are more people out there who suspect that they might have ADHD, OCD, and a myriad of other conditions than those who suspect ASD. Affective disorders are common concerns for adolescents.

While there may be people out there who feign ASD, they are a minority. Blame should never be put upon a victim of our human nature (such as your friend, for seeking answers).


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18 Jun 2014, 2:05 pm

What annoys me about mild AS is people thinking it's not significant or impairing. Even people in the spectrum even think this too because they will say things like "You must not be that mild if you weren't aware how offense it was going to be." It's as if they think being mild means you can't make any social mistakes. NTs make social mistakes too and no one says "You must not be NT if you didn't know it was going to be offensive."

I am mild and got diagnosed because it impairs me in learning and I had very poor social skills growing up. I also have anxiety so I got my outbursts in school and had my meltdowns. It seems less now because I am not in school. That was where I had my seizures too due to the medicine I was on for anxiety. But at home I didn't have any. Different environment. My parents took me off the medicine when they found out it was causing them.

I also notice this with other conditions too, people don't take mild seriously so therefore they won't help you until it gets so bad. That is what happened with my schizophrenic aunt. No hospital would take her until her illness got so bad, my grandfather was finally able to hospitalize her and she was there for four years. Now she is unable to function and not live a normal life anymore so she lives in a group home now.

A diagnoses is made if there is a significant impairment. If the person doesn't think they have anything wrong or don't think they are having any issues, they won't be going in for help would they so no diagnoses would be made.


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18 Jun 2014, 2:28 pm

Quote:
He does things that just...... are not at all signifying Asperger's


What kinds of things?



serenaserenaserena
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18 Jun 2014, 2:29 pm

League_Girl wrote:
What annoys me about mild AS is people thinking it's not significant or impairing.


This is what I'm annoyed about. My mom knows that my papers said "mild," but there is apparently nothing mild about my AS according to her and my counselor. Even diagnostically mild is still prominent.


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serenaserenaserena
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18 Jun 2014, 2:53 pm

thirteenboats wrote:
Quote:
He does things that just...... are not at all signifying Asperger's


What kinds of things?


He does just about all of the things that my counselor has been spending a very long time trying to teach me that I will never understand. She is trying to teach me "social thinking," and I kind of remember some things that she's said that are completely random that don't even benefit anyone, but he does those things, such as avoiding doing certain things in public, meaning some huge list of random things would have to be memorized and avoided doing in certain places, which is ridiculous. It made no sense. She said that even when the place is noisy that I'm not allowed to make my noises, because my noises are different.(?) He seems to do some other "social thinking" stuff my counselor has explained. I used to sit next to him in PE once my friend moved away while he talked to a group of people, and they would all gossip about things sometimes, and talk about random situations and stuff. He has been friends with people that were apparently being mean to me in classes and various places. I didn't know that they were trying to be mean until my counselor told me, but he's very good friends with those people and does stuff that they do. He does things and talks about things that I don't understand all the time, and I don't understand why, and he gets worried about peoples brains thinking things, and he assumes things about situations that I think are completely random and don't have any reason behind them, but they end up actually being correct, even if it doesn't make sense, and I don't even think that he notices he does it, because he may not even have to think about it (very hard.) He just knows how to do it. According to him, he always has good grades in Literature. I don't know how that's even possible. Literature class does not use logic. Social thinking does not use logic. My friend doesn't always use logic. He might sometimes, but he doesn't use it when it seems to be the only answer. I know this message is confusing, but the whole situation is confusing. My counselor is trying to teach me how to read people's minds, and a lot of my friend's solutions / responses to things that end up being correct could only be solved by reading their minds, which I don't think is even possible at all, but he seems to be good at guessing what people are thinking. It's in such little, random situations though that I usually have to think about the thing. It's in those situations that I am thinking out an actual equation in my head to figure out why something just happened and what to do. It's in those situations that I'm doing that, but that he seems to not even think about it, and then the day goes on just like that without any questioning.

I don't even understand why I would want to learn any of "Social Thinking" when all it does is make people anxious and upset and kill themselves.


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18 Jun 2014, 6:24 pm

serenaserenaserena wrote:
thirteenboats wrote:
Quote:
He does things that just...... are not at all signifying Asperger's


What kinds of things?


He does just about all of the things that my counselor has been spending a very long time trying to teach me that I will never understand. She is trying to teach me "social thinking," and I kind of remember some things that she's said that are completely random that don't even benefit anyone, but he does those things, such as avoiding doing certain things in public, meaning some huge list of random things would have to be memorized and avoided doing in certain places, which is ridiculous. It made no sense. She said that even when the place is noisy that I'm not allowed to make my noises, because my noises are different.(?) He seems to do some other "social thinking" stuff my counselor has explained. I used to sit next to him in PE once my friend moved away while he talked to a group of people, and they would all gossip about things sometimes, and talk about random situations and stuff. He has been friends with people that were apparently being mean to me in classes and various places. I didn't know that they were trying to be mean until my counselor told me, but he's very good friends with those people and does stuff that they do. He does things and talks about things that I don't understand all the time, and I don't understand why, and he gets worried about peoples brains thinking things, and he assumes things about situations that I think are completely random and don't have any reason behind them, but they end up actually being correct, even if it doesn't make sense, and I don't even think that he notices he does it, because he may not even have to think about it (very hard.) He just knows how to do it. According to him, he always has good grades in Literature. I don't know how that's even possible. Literature class does not use logic. Social thinking does not use logic. My friend doesn't always use logic. He might sometimes, but he doesn't use it when it seems to be the only answer. I know this message is confusing, but the whole situation is confusing. My counselor is trying to teach me how to read people's minds, and a lot of my friend's solutions / responses to things that end up being correct could only be solved by reading their minds, which I don't think is even possible at all, but he seems to be good at guessing what people are thinking. It's in such little, random situations though that I usually have to think about the thing. It's in those situations that I am thinking out an actual equation in my head to figure out why something just happened and what to do. It's in those situations that I'm doing that, but that he seems to not even think about it, and then the day goes on just like that without any questioning.

I don't even understand why I would want to learn any of "Social Thinking" when all it does is make people anxious and upset and kill themselves.


Well, I think what confuses you is that autism is not logical. There are diagnostic criteria, yes, but they need to be interpreted subjectively. The fact that it is a spectrum means that people present very differently. The myriad of possible combinations of symptoms and severities is completely illogical. Not everyone on the spectrum is as logical as you. You seem to be rather extreme, to be honest. Many people on the spectrum say that they are quite extrovert and social, just come across as awkward or odd (which you likely would not be able to notice in your friend, as you wouldn't be able to figure out what other people might think about him, but he himself may be very aware of how they treat him - he may be friendly with them, but still feel like an outsider due to group dynamics, even if they are too subtle for you to notice). You seem to have trouble recognizing other people's behaviour. I don't as much (or maybe not anymore; we learn as we grow older). The myth that all persons on the autism spectrum are incapable of reading others' minds (at least at a basic level) is wrong. While I'm very introvert myself, I don't have noticeable stims or outward signs of autism. Many of us don't, which is why we can just about pass as "normal", even if it takes a lot of energy, and why we are often only diagnosed as adults (myself at 38; when I had an autistic middle-age burnout). I don't make noises in public, and I don't have meltdowns (at least not as intense) as others describe them, maybe because I'm more hypo- than hypersensitive. I lived abroad for many years (even in Africa), while someone else with AS might not be able to take the train by themselves (I met someone like that, also a university graduate, years before learning about my own AS, and I could never have imagined that he and I shared the same diagnosis). Literature was one of my strongest subjects in school. Your friend may just be one of those outgoing persons on the autism spectrum who's less outwardly noticeable. He may just have difficulties that are different from yours.



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18 Jun 2014, 7:29 pm

Aspendos wrote:
Your friend may just be one of those outgoing persons on the autism spectrum who's less outwardly noticeable. He may just have difficulties that are different from yours.


He considers himself shy, and he seems introverted. The difficulties he told me that he has are only his shyness and likely SPD, such as, he hates touching my soft, fuzzy jeans that I love. He has several friends at school that are popular though. He makes jokes with them in class, and one of them is the one that apparently makes fun of me. I do know some other things about him that may fit well here, but I don't think I should post any more things about him.
Anyway, this thread isn't really supposed to be about him. It's just what evoked me to think about this subject. I only mentioned him, because it helped say what I wanted to say about people having the distorted thoughts of mild AS. Let's not continue to discuss on the internet specific people.


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18 Jun 2014, 9:29 pm

Aspendos wrote:
serenaserenaserena wrote:
thirteenboats wrote:
Quote:
He does things that just...... are not at all signifying Asperger's


What kinds of things?


He does just about all of the things that my counselor has been spending a very long time trying to teach me that I will never understand. She is trying to teach me "social thinking," and I kind of remember some things that she's said that are completely random that don't even benefit anyone, but he does those things, such as avoiding doing certain things in public, meaning some huge list of random things would have to be memorized and avoided doing in certain places, which is ridiculous. It made no sense. She said that even when the place is noisy that I'm not allowed to make my noises, because my noises are different.(?) He seems to do some other "social thinking" stuff my counselor has explained. I used to sit next to him in PE once my friend moved away while he talked to a group of people, and they would all gossip about things sometimes, and talk about random situations and stuff. He has been friends with people that were apparently being mean to me in classes and various places. I didn't know that they were trying to be mean until my counselor told me, but he's very good friends with those people and does stuff that they do. He does things and talks about things that I don't understand all the time, and I don't understand why, and he gets worried about peoples brains thinking things, and he assumes things about situations that I think are completely random and don't have any reason behind them, but they end up actually being correct, even if it doesn't make sense, and I don't even think that he notices he does it, because he may not even have to think about it (very hard.) He just knows how to do it. According to him, he always has good grades in Literature. I don't know how that's even possible. Literature class does not use logic. Social thinking does not use logic. My friend doesn't always use logic. He might sometimes, but he doesn't use it when it seems to be the only answer. I know this message is confusing, but the whole situation is confusing. My counselor is trying to teach me how to read people's minds, and a lot of my friend's solutions / responses to things that end up being correct could only be solved by reading their minds, which I don't think is even possible at all, but he seems to be good at guessing what people are thinking. It's in such little, random situations though that I usually have to think about the thing. It's in those situations that I am thinking out an actual equation in my head to figure out why something just happened and what to do. It's in those situations that I'm doing that, but that he seems to not even think about it, and then the day goes on just like that without any questioning.

I don't even understand why I would want to learn any of "Social Thinking" when all it does is make people anxious and upset and kill themselves.


Well, I think what confuses you is that autism is not logical. There are diagnostic criteria, yes, but they need to be interpreted subjectively. The fact that it is a spectrum means that people present very differently. The myriad of possible combinations of symptoms and severities is completely illogical. Not everyone on the spectrum is as logical as you. You seem to be rather extreme, to be honest. Many people on the spectrum say that they are quite extrovert and social, just come across as awkward or odd (which you likely would not be able to notice in your friend, as you wouldn't be able to figure out what other people might think about him, but he himself may be very aware of how they treat him - he may be friendly with them, but still feel like an outsider due to group dynamics, even if they are too subtle for you to notice). You seem to have trouble recognizing other people's behaviour. I don't as much (or maybe not anymore; we learn as we grow older). The myth that all persons on the autism spectrum are incapable of reading others' minds (at least at a basic level) is wrong. While I'm very introvert myself, I don't have noticeable stims or outward signs of autism. Many of us don't, which is why we can just about pass as "normal", even if it takes a lot of energy, and why we are often only diagnosed as adults (myself at 38; when I had an autistic middle-age burnout). I don't make noises in public, and I don't have meltdowns (at least not as intense) as others describe them, maybe because I'm more hypo- than hypersensitive. I lived abroad for many years (even in Africa), while someone else with AS might not be able to take the train by themselves (I met someone like that, also a university graduate, years before learning about my own AS, and I could never have imagined that he and I shared the same diagnosis). Literature was one of my strongest subjects in school. Your friend may just be one of those outgoing persons on the autism spectrum who's less outwardly noticeable. He may just have difficulties that are different from yours.



I tend to agree' there are a great many autistics who love literature and maybe even be very good at it! I enjoy it though I struggle reading, I do enjoy writting.


So cutting him out what do you mean by thier distortion..


Itpn you mean that people think of it as not a big deal or the cool thing yeah that bothers me


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18 Jun 2014, 9:40 pm

ASdogGeek wrote:
So cutting him out what do you mean by thier distortion..


By distortion, I just mean people thinking mild AS is commonly more mild than it actually sounds and is. Also, I was really only talking about specific grade levels of literature classes, being the classes the require almost 100% of inferring things from stories and poems, and it's just really hard, and when it's not hard, it usually just means I did it wrong. Yes, many people can be good at literature. In some parts of literature, I rank the highest in my school and excel very, very highly in comparison to my low D's and high F's.


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18 Jun 2014, 9:48 pm

daydreamer84 wrote:
Yes, I am annoyed by this. I think ASD has been romanticized and some people think mild ASD is the same as being a smart nerd or a little quirky. This minimizes the disorder , it makes light of it.


You got a disorder and I just a different hardwiring. The difference is, I don't adopt the NT view of AS. I am a thinker. :P

Quote:
He considers himself shy, and he seems introverted. The difficulties he told me that he has are only his shyness and likely SPD, such as, he hates touching my soft, fuzzy jeans that I love.
Shyness is an euphemism for people scare da living shite outa him. I on the other hand am not shy, just don't like talking that much. :P



Last edited by MOWHAWK1982 on 18 Jun 2014, 9:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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18 Jun 2014, 9:50 pm

MOWHAWK1982 wrote:
daydreamer84 wrote:
Yes, I am annoyed by this. I think ASD has been romanticized and some people think mild ASD is the same as being a smart nerd or a little quirky. This minimizes the disorder , it makes light of it.


You got a disorder and I just a different hardwiring. The difference is, I don't adopt the NT view of AS. I am a thinker. :P



This statement confuses me


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18 Jun 2014, 9:52 pm

The term "significant" means "observable; relevant". It means that your traits are strong enough to make a difference, causing enough trouble for you that a diagnosis is necessary. "Significant" does not mean "severe", but it does imply some degree of disability. Anyone who can be diagnosed with AS has a disability, though many people with subclinical (i.e., non-significant) AS traits are not disabled.

"Mild AS" is certainly not something to be dismissed or trivialized. In fact, milder cases can be harder to deal with precisely because they are mild, because it is harder to find help. Many people with mild AS live in endless cycles of effort and burnout, trying to keep up with the NTs around them without having any accommodations--either because they've been convinced that they don't need help, or because they simply can't get any since they're thought of as "too high-functioning". There's a stereotype that disability must always be severe and obvious, and since these people aren't severely or obviously disabled, they are often judged as though their disability were a willful, rebellious or malicious decision. Some even judge themselves that way, coming to self-hatred and a feeling of worthlessness.

Severe AS has its own problems, but I can't trivialize mild AS; it's not a trivial experience to have. It's not severe, it's not obvious, it doesn't define a person or take over their identity--and yet it's still a big enough part of their lives that many of the assumptions made about neurotypicals no longer quite apply to them.


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18 Jun 2014, 9:52 pm

ASdogGeek wrote:
MOWHAWK1982 wrote:
daydreamer84 wrote:
Yes, I am annoyed by this. I think ASD has been romanticized and some people think mild ASD is the same as being a smart nerd or a little quirky. This minimizes the disorder , it makes light of it.


You got a disorder and I just a different hardwiring. The difference is, I don't adopt the NT view of AS. I am a thinker. :P



This statement confuses me


I'm also confused


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MOWHAWK1982
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18 Jun 2014, 9:53 pm

ASdogGeek wrote:
MOWHAWK1982 wrote:
daydreamer84 wrote:
Yes, I am annoyed by this. I think ASD has been romanticized and some people think mild ASD is the same as being a smart nerd or a little quirky. This minimizes the disorder , it makes light of it.


You got a disorder and I just a different hardwiring. The difference is, I don't adopt the NT view of AS. I am a thinker. :P



This statement confuses me
Why bro? I just considere to not parroting the common narrative as a good thing.