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billiscool
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21 Jun 2014, 10:40 pm

for you loners,and near loners.Do you ever try being more
social.I try.I try to ''branch''out but it's never works out.
so,I just have my small married women clique(3 ladies )
and dozens others scatter around.

so,Yes it's tough.I wish could be more social and meet
more people.More social you are the higher success
of finding a relationship.Less social you are the harder
it is to find someone



auntblabby
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22 Jun 2014, 12:24 am

god knows I try my best to be kind to everybody I meet. that is all I can do. I leave the rest to god.



mr_bigmouth_502
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22 Jun 2014, 1:05 am

It's hard. I was much more social when I was younger, and in high school, but nowadays I have virtually no social life. It's even hard to get a hold of my friends through Facebook, which is literally the only reason I use it.



CyclopsSummers
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22 Jun 2014, 2:21 am

billiscool wrote:
for you loners,and near loners.Do you ever try being more
social.I try.I try to ''branch''out but it's never works out.
so,I just have my small married women clique(3 ladies )
and dozens others scatter around.

so,Yes it's tough.I wish could be more social and meet
more people.More social you are the higher success
of finding a relationship.Less social you are the harder
it is to find someone

I know it can be hard. But your small circle of ladies and your scattered acquaintances are at least something in terms of a social life. Always remember to cherish that.

I had 2 acquaintances/friends when I was still living in the city. I generally felt miserable in those days, because I had all sorts of problems going on in my personal life. And I didn't fully appreciate the people who were reaching out to me and who enjoyed spending time with me. Now I've lost contact with both of them. And I'm generally alone.

At the same time, I don't think you should view your social circle, your friends and acquaintances etc, as something you need to validate your own life, or as props to fill the stage of your life. If you look hard enough -and I do mean hard enough- you are very likely to find someone who is also looking for someone to spend time with, be it platonic or romantic. But it's not a certain thing that's set in stone. It could be that you'll live your life without establishing a romantic relationship with someone. And honestly, that's all right. The most important thing is that you can create your own fulfillment in your life, without being dependent on other people for it. That may sound harsh, but when you're comfortable in your own skin and exude self confidence, it will in turn make it easier for you to establish relationships with other people.


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AutumnSylver
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22 Jun 2014, 2:34 am

I decided to try while at college. I have to take a class this summer (it's a long story), and there are a couple of people from my regular classes who are taking classes during the summer, so I see them in the morning before my class. I've been sitting with one of them at lunch since I started my class (I'm only there one day a week), and 3 weeks ago, she was sitting with the other girl from some of my classes, and asked me to go and sit with them, so I did. I missed 2 weeks after that, and was back this past Wednesday. I saw the other girl there, and I thought she was going to come and sit with me, but she sat at a table about 10 feet away, and didn't even look at me. (I was going to say hi to her, but I don't remember her name, and she didn't look over). Then I saw the friend who I have been sitting with all along, but she didn't sit with me either. She saw me and said hi, but then she said something about having to take the stairs because the elevator was out of service. I thought she was going upstairs for something, then coming back, but she walked a few feet away and started talking to someone else. Then she walked towards the door and left the school. I have no idea what that was about. I don't know if I did or said something that made them not want to sit with me anymore. It wouldn't surprise me, though. This kind of thing happens all the time.
I'll see what happens next week.


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LookingLost
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22 Jun 2014, 5:52 am

I am currently trying to be more social, and can definitely agree that it is really hard.


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ImAnAspie
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22 Jun 2014, 9:00 am

Nope! It's just not me! I know me - I know what I like, what I don't like, what I'm comfortable with and what I'm not comfortable with... and I don't see any point in pushing to be in a situation I don't want to be in or feel uncomfortable in!! !

There's only three people I like to be with. Me, myself and I!! ! It's that simple!


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TrueScientist
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22 Jun 2014, 10:13 am

auntblabby wrote:
god knows I try my best to be kind to everybody I meet. that is all I can do. I leave the rest to god.

I kind of agree with this (though I'm not sure how much God will intervene, I'm a deist so although
I believe God exists, I'm not sure he directly interacts with humans' lives, but you never know, it's not really falsifiable currently).

Be nice to everyone, smile, (try to make it look genuine if it isn't)
and don't take things too seriously.
I used to be cynical and take things the wrong way, which led to other taking my reaction the wrong way
and made a not so social atmpsphere.

Hope that helps. :)
Nerves stop me from being fully social.
Social anxiety is terrible. :x

Try to find common interests like what TV shows people like or whatever
and get a conversation started. :)



Sisaliker
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22 Jun 2014, 10:27 am

In real life, I have been trying to be social, when I try, some "magical force" stops me and tells me to stop doing that (not really saying but I get bad feeling when I am trying to be social with people that I do not speak). I can be much more social with grown ups than with people in my age because I have found that exchanging info is much more entertaining than talking random things.