i've gone and effed things up again....

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JacobV
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20 Jun 2014, 6:37 pm

someone i've been talking to for months and slowly got to know more and more and cared for more and more now wants nothing to do with me... i've effed things up.. AGAIN for christ' sakes... wtf is wrong with me???

It usually happens during one of my 'episodes'.... I don't do anything bad but I say the most stupid, illogical, selfish, self-centered idiotic things and destroy any decent relationship I have..... and the worst part is that I don't even mean any of it... it's all primitive feelings talking and it's DUMB.

Love is PATIENT... Love is KIND.... Love does not expect anything in return.... Why can't I remember this when I get moody? Is my
only hope in life to start taking antidepressants to "tune me down" some?

does this happen to anyone else out there?? Is this an aspie thing or is this a ME thing?



skibum
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20 Jun 2014, 7:09 pm

It'snot just you Jacob. I am the same way. Don't be too hard on yourself. I am sorry you lost a friend though. It has happened to me more often than I would like to remember.


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ikerio
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20 Jun 2014, 7:19 pm

It's like when a relationship gets too close for comfort we cannot cope and subconsciously we aim to destroy it to recover our freedom. It has happened to me too.



ImAnAspie
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22 Jun 2014, 9:57 am

Hey, don't knock antidepressants! Anafranil and Prozac have helped me through some of the tougher times of my life - although I do also have OCD but they certainly can help. Don't knock 'em until you've tried them! They may be the answer!


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MrGrumpy
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22 Jun 2014, 10:16 am

ikerio wrote:
It's like when a relationship gets too close for comfort we cannot cope and subconsciously we aim to destroy it to recover our freedom. It has happened to me too.

That is so true it makes me want to cry. Not for me - I am old now, and my needs are few - but I cry for people like Jacob who still have to work their way through a lfetime of crap. There are many forms of 'disability' - some people appear to overcome their disability, but the suffering continues inside.