Anyone who passes as NT

Post Reply New Topic

<sorry if this question is offensive>

... got any tips to help those who can't pass, pass as NT more and especially in some occasions? Maybe pass more than occasionally but also "hide it" better, read people, be cool and hip?

Most people say I look normal, but anxious. A lot of people, including me and some mental health professionals doubt I'm autistic.

That's something that would take practice. I would say pay close attention to those around you, and see how they act. Pay special attention to body language, and see how people react to different situations.

That being said, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You are probably more inconspicuous than you think. The fact that you are even caring enough to ask this question leads me to believe so.

Do be careful with this goal. It isn't worth losing yourself completely and it's easy to fall apart if passing becomes too important. Just be careful. This can be a dangerous goal if you let yourself believe they're good and you're broken.

As someone who discovered having Asperger's Syndrome only in January 2014, I suppose that I masked or "passed" as NT for most of my life. As Wrong Planet owner Alex has described about himself, I grew up in a movie-theatre family of many generations. It wasn't unsual for me to see several movies a week while I was growing up for my first 25 years or so. By doing this, I believe that I learned NT characteristics and behaviors, and was able to mimic what I saw others do in the movies. Masking didn't always work, but it was rare for others to express concern ("you're being weird"). So, I would suggest watching good family movies (horror movies or exaggerated comedies might not work well at first). Watch the movies to learn from them. But, even this solution might not have good results for everyone. But, it might be worth the try.

Masking almost fulltime in my childhood resulted in some painful exhaustion, depression and anger, and my AS severity is usually mild. So masking might not work for others with increased severity. Even though I was and am very able to mask when I choose to do so, it is very exhausting because I am ignoring my initial intentions for every question, statement or choice, and choosing instead to mask. Sometimes, it is worth it because people I care about say that I seem friendlier and happier. I tell them that it takes a lot out of me to be that way. And, my recharge times are longer when I do so, or believe I am expected to do so.

In the end, I guess it is a good talent to perfect for those times when masking is desired (by me or others) or necessary. But, as has been written here, don't let it make you ignore who you are. If you are willing to mask sometimes for its benefits, your family and friends should return the favor and let you just be you sometimes, too. That is my opinion, anyway.

Definitely thanks for the tips everyone. Gonna pay more attention to TV

Been doing it for years. Was taught by a group of girls who were willing to be my friend when I was about 12 or so. They worked on me all through school and high school. It's not that easy. You have to have specific things pointed out and most people don't want to because it goes against manners. When you find somebody willing to point it out and then chill after, you have met a friend.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I wish I could do stuff like this
He's just speaking **** trolling the guy but look at the body language! the other guy is totally into it as if it's really entertaining
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpyd8JJxn9M[/youtube]

I guess a lot of it comes down to how good your voice sounds and how confident you come across to the other person which I'd wager the majority of us can't fake

(You shouldn't do it all the time, but) I try not to fidget and do weird stuff with my hand hands. Making eye contact but not too much, otherwise it's a bit creepy. Trying not to take control over conversation and trying to listen to the other side (and sadly, try to find the best thing to say). And overall being calm. When I'm too happy I start to be more autistic.

But that's around some people. Around some of my best friends I can be myself. Maybe because they are kind of weird too... And you should too feel comfortable be yourself around some people. It's healthier.

I don't pass perfectly, but I hope I'm not unbearable....

One of the big things for me was learning some stock small-talk phrases and realizing that some (probably most, actually) of the things I interpreted as mean or insulting were meant as jokes. I have a really hard time telling when people are kidding, so I decided to laugh whenever someone said something that sounded weird/mean. It's a win-win. If they're kidding, they think you got the joke. If they were trying to be mean and offend me, they've failed.

Yeah.. read the link in my sig that details how I've done it & am now back to work and life and a whole heck of a lot happier, healthier, and wealthier.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I can pass as NT only because people in my area are dumb.