Psychiatrist coming to see me within 4 - 6 hours

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jayjayuk
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03 Jul 2014, 9:56 am

I'm in a very bad way at the moment. Depressed as crap. Horrible suicidal thoughts. Keep feeling like I want to die. My partner found a note I write last night, and got alarmed. Called my doctor. I was in a horrible way last night, probably partly because I didn't take my meds. Was planning on going out to get the "job" done, but my girlfriend didn't sleep until after me.

So, anyway, they're coming out to see me. I don't want to speak to them. I don't even want them in my house. But my girlfriend said if I don't she leaving because she can't cope with this no more.

So chances are I could end up in a mental hospital today. Not good. Although if it can help my mental state of mind I don't mind.

As they say "Crap has hit the fan". I have never been this bad in my life.



vickygleitz
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03 Jul 2014, 10:04 am

Hang in there, sweetie. Everyone here cares. I am praying for you.



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03 Jul 2014, 10:47 am

it takes three different specialist assessments to decide whether someone is sectionable or not, so the only way will end up in there is through voluntary admission, not using medication fighting support and being actively suicidal,non stop severe self injury etc.

unless feel woud be safer in hospital-which it sounds like may do,and thats not a bad thing because its giving security and stability, woud need to be co operative and accept whatever they say.

try and avoid sectioning if possible, its better to have the freedom to choose when are ready to leave rather than have someone else make that decision,plus will not have to go on a PITA restrictive section seventeen.


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03 Jul 2014, 11:05 am

Please don't hurt yourself. No matter what you think, things WILL be Ok. Your girlfriend loves you and wants you to be safe. Even if you have to go to a hospital, don't think it's the end. I went to a hospital for a few weeks (only during the day) and it made some things a little difficult but I am back on track and you can be too.

Peace out & I'll be sending you good vibes. 8)


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03 Jul 2014, 11:12 am

1) Do exactly what you are told. Without comment, without question, without argument. Do it, and keep a neutral expression on your face.

2) Take the goddamn Seroquel. Just do it. Yes, it will make you feel like s**t. You will be unable to think straight, have limited verbal ability, and sleep just about all the time. You will be completely, utterly, and totally disabled. The up side is that it will please the people who are in charge of you right now, and at least if you're asleep you are not angry, frightened, and depressed.

For a few weeks to maybe a couple of months. Then you will adjust. You will not feel GOOD-- your cognitive and verbal abilities will remain impaired, and you will sleep a lot. On the level of, "If you don't want to fall asleep, don't stop moving." Because the minute you are not standing, you will be nodding off. But you will learn to plow through the sedation enough to do what you absolutely have to do.

DO NOT attempt to drive. DO NOT drink alcohol or use ANY drugs, even OTC medications. DO NOT attempt to keep your job (if you have one). Go on medical leave if you can. If you can't, just quit. DO NOT attempt to make major decisions. If you can't have someone make them for you, defer them indefinitely.

Remember this: It is temporary. After you have been utterly docile, obedient, and cooperative for a few months, your psychiatrist SHOULD start listening to you about having trouble coping with the side effects of atypical antipsychotics and help you titrate back off of them and onto something less completely and utterly crippling.

If s/he doesn't, s/he may be participating in a disability fraud scam. But you can worry about that later.

Sorry that's not happy. It sucks. I feel for you. Antipsychotics SUCK. Keep remembering that it should be temporary.


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03 Jul 2014, 11:15 am

jayjayuk wrote:
I'm in a very bad way at the moment. Depressed as crap. Horrible suicidal thoughts. Keep feeling like I want to die. My partner found a note I write last night, and got alarmed. Called my doctor. I was in a horrible way last night, probably partly because I didn't take my meds. Was planning on going out to get the "job" done, but my girlfriend didn't sleep until after me.

*hugs*
That's great that your girlfriend is being so supportive. She sounds like a keeper!


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So, anyway, they're coming out to see me. I don't want to speak to them. I don't even want them in my house. But my girlfriend said if I don't she leaving because she can't cope with this no more.

You have mental health care home visits?!? That is awesome!
Just remember that their goal is to help you. They may get it wrong sometimes, but it's not because of malice.
Deep breaths and try to concentrate on relaxing the muscles in your arms and legs.

Quote:
So chances are I could end up in a mental hospital today. Not good. Although if it can help my mental state of mind I don't mind.

A few years back I was in a psychiatric ward for two weeks. It was a useful and actually kind of relaxing.

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As they say "Crap has hit the fan". I have never been this bad in my life.

If you re going to try medication, then commit to it. Going on and off will really mess with your head.



jayjayuk
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03 Jul 2014, 11:46 am

Thanks for the messages guys.

The psychiatrist has been. He told my partner to hide all medication and knifes and to keep the doors locked. He told her I'm a "serious case" and that the mental health home team will be visiting early tonight for a full assessment and decide whether I need to go into hospital.

I have a horrible guy feeling that I'm going in so just incase I am going to pack a bag, when I can bothered to move out of bed.

What should I take for if it happens? I'm very very nervous right now.



Ann2011
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03 Jul 2014, 11:51 am

I'd bring a couple of pairs of jeans or sweatpants and some t-shirts, a book, soap and shampoo. That's about it.
And take your meds!



jayjayuk
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03 Jul 2014, 12:29 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
I'd bring a couple of pairs of jeans or sweatpants and some t-shirts, a book, soap and shampoo. That's about it.
And take your meds!


Thanks. I've packed toiletries, a couple books and sudoku books, and clothes.

Not sure whether I can take a laptop or not. I know some allow it, and some don't, would be nice so I can make some music when I get bored. Probably best not to. Saying that I doubt I'll be in the frame of mind to be using a laptop.

Urgh :( Scared stiff.



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03 Jul 2014, 12:44 pm

Comfortable clothes with no strings of any form.

Slip-on shoes-- again, no laces.

Thick socks.

Something to do (book to read, puzzles, notebook to write in, whatever).

The main thing is to remain utterly docile and totally compliant at all times. Otherwise you have a good chance of ending up forcibly medicated with stuff that will make Seroquel look like candy. Say "please" every time you have to ask a question, and "thank you" every time someone bothers to pay attention to you. Do not make more than passing conversation with the other patients, because everyone in there is in a fragile state of mind. Be, like, beyond humble.

Docile, compliant, passive. Docile, compliant, passive. Docile, compliant, passive.


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03 Jul 2014, 12:48 pm

Take care. There will be much better days ahead - without doubt. You have a girlfriend who loves and cares about you. Take care of yourself - it's going to be alright.


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jayjayuk
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03 Jul 2014, 12:50 pm

BuyerBeware wrote:
Comfortable clothes with no strings of any form.

Slip-on shoes-- again, no laces.

Thick socks.

Something to do (book to read, puzzles, notebook to write in, whatever).

The main thing is to remain utterly docile and totally compliant at all times. Otherwise you have a good chance of ending up forcibly medicated with stuff that will make Seroquel look like candy. Say "please" every time you have to ask a question, and "thank you" every time someone bothers to pay attention to you. Do not make more than passing conversation with the other patients, because everyone in there is in a fragile state of mind. Be, like, beyond humble.

Docile, compliant, passive. Docile, compliant, passive. Docile, compliant, passive.


Thank you. I will remember that. I certainly don't want anything worse than Seroquel.



jayjayuk
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03 Jul 2014, 6:01 pm

YEEEEES!! I didn't get admitted .... yet.

I was supposed to have a visit, but the home team were visiting 5 other people and didn't know if they'd make it. They said they are passing through an area close to me so if I get a taxi I can meet them at one of the local mental hospitals and they can borrow a room there to asses me. So I did that.

I told them almost everything, and they said going into hospital isn't the best solution it's he last resort. I have one last step to go before hospital, which I am hoping works.

They want to totally switch up my medication because it's clearly not working. They've told me not to touch the tablets that knock me out. And to stop the Citalopram gradually. Tomorrow I go back and get my new meds ... no idea what they are.

AND ....

I have a mental health home team that will visit me every day for a couple of hours to see how I am doing on the new meds and if the situation improves.

If this fails, then it's involuntary admission, he's told me that.



jayjayuk
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03 Jul 2014, 6:12 pm

I've got lorazepam to take tonight. I think there sticking me on those tomorrow and theres another one, forgot the name. Looking forward to the effects of these, people say it's actually nice.



jayjayuk
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03 Jul 2014, 6:28 pm

Edit: Just learned I can't take these tablets because I have a sleeping disorder which causes me to stop breathing when I sleep. The packet says not t take them if you have breathing problems when sleeping because it can cause you to not wake up to get air. Which could kill you.

Looks like I'm suffering with anxiety tonight then. I'll mention it tomorrow when I go to get my new meds.



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03 Jul 2014, 7:21 pm

contact NHS direct,they will get a GP to phone back and advise on whether its ok to take the lorazepam or not; it may differ depending on circumstances.

the calming effects of benzos such as lorazepam wear off very quickly as they build up tolerance,especialy if a several times daily user.
the best med have personaly found the most useful for anti anxiety is haleperidol,its an anti pyschotic though am prescribed mine for severe challenging behavior as well,doesnt lose its tolerance like benzos do.


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