Diagnostic appointments: your experiences...

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I am on a waiting list for a diagnostic appointment, (Asperger's). I will have a few months to wait yet but predictably I'm already worried.
I realise the irony of saying this, but I don't know how I should approach it: how I should act, talk, dress. Everything I do is an act so I wouldn't know what being, 'myself' would entail.
I have a feeling that I won't be able to help, 'getting into character' for the situation and acting even more awkward than I normally would.
I'm curious. For those who have been formally diagnosed, what was your assessment experience like?

MissMayo - why is it so important for you to be diagnosed as Asperger's/ASD that you would be prepared to put on some kind of act in order to guarantee your chosen diagnosis? What use is a diagnosis which is the result of a false 'performance'? What will you do if a professional opinion is different from your own?

Hello, Mr Grumpy.
That's not what I meant. I want the diagnosis or non-diagnosis to be an accurate reflection of my situation, and I'm worried that my not knowing how to behave will obscure the decision either way.
Does that make sense?

I asked my lawyer the same questions when my Social Security disability benefits claim was considered by an administrative-law judge. The lawyer said that the goal was to let the judge see me as I am on every other day of the week. Same clothes, same demeanor, same attitudes ... so long as my appearance and statements aren't considered offensive.

I suspect that the same advice would work for your diagnostic appointment, except in that case, it might be reasonable to not edit any possibly offensive statements. The goal is to give the diagnostician a view into your ordinary day and behaviors.

Faking serves neither you nor the diagnostician, and will very likely be discovered. Diagnostic and multiphasic tests have control questions to catch lying. And, most professional diagnosticians have seen the real thing so many times, they can spot the fakes or exaggerations.

So, just be yourself during the whole appointment. And, it is fair and reasonable to bring any personal notes about your characteristics that you might want to discuss or emphasize, as well as questions.

Last edited by AspieUtah on 02 Jul 2014, 4:45 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Not knowing how to behave is probably your number one symptom. But, I repeat, what will you do if your self-diagnosis is not confirmed?

I am going to have my 1st appointment (Asperger) in a week from now. I am as scared as before an important exam. One that I am going to fail - the specialist told me to make an appointment to a psychiatrist too but I was not able to do it so far because I don't know how to do it. I only know what building to go and what is the last name of the psychiatrist but I have no idea where is the registration in the building or anything... So I am delaying it due to anxiety. I just hope the specialist is going to understand... But well, she didn't tell me till when I am supposed to go there and didn't specify I am supposed to do it before our 1st appointment so it should be fine, right?

Anyway, the closer the date the more insecure I am about my self-diagnosis.
I can still totally identify with all the traits and read about it everyday like I used to (Asperger become my obsession) but I question myself if I don't just fool myself.

Maybe it is just OCD/OCDP and sensory integration issues mixed with nonverbal learning disorder? Or perhaps I am schizoidal? Or schizophrenic? Or I don't have any of those and just look for attention? What if the specialist decides to give me some pills that change my personality? I don't want to change!

Are my interests really special interests? Are my social problems severe enough? Is my daily routine really a routine?

Will I be able to explain everything accurately? What if I get anxious and make my symptoms seem small using the copy mechanism I developed to hide my weirdness?

Because of the anxiety I am writing essays and documenting my life so if I get mute I will at least show her what I got. I gathered 200 photos from my childhood and wrote 17 pages of self-description (including how I related to diagnostic criteria and how traits I was showing divided by age 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, 9-12, 12-15, 15-18, 18-24 and now).
I hope it is going to be enough...

I am helpless...

Last edited by Kiriae on 02 Jul 2014, 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks for the advice, AspieUtah.
The problem is that I don't know who I am or how I'm coming across to people. This seems to change on a daily basis, meaning that I probably have several 'selves' that I could call normal for me. It could all just be internal and other people may not be aware that I feel different every day.
If I don't meet the criteria for ASD then I will return to my primary care physician and review what other causes there may be, like everyone else. What did you imagine I would do?

I hope it's not too nerve-wracking for you, Kiriae! I doubt myself a lot too.

I think that people who have their self-diagnosis denied are quite likely to reject the opinion of the professional concerned, and revert to their own self-diagnosis.

I would explain this to your diagnostician right after you get into his or her office. He or she will probably understand your concern and give you ideas or examples of what he or she will be doing, asking, looking for and saying during the diagnosis. Most diagnosticians include a short conversation with some key questions, one or more multiple-choice tests, and they always ask if you have comments or questions that you would like to discuss. If you have already explained your concerns, I doubt that the diagnostician will be surprised to see you behave just as you promised.

People with AS and ASD come in all shapes, sizes and attitudes. Diagnosticians have seen them all, and aren't supposed to judge or make their conclusions based only on appearances and behaviors. Don't worry.

Be your self. The person whom is preforming the diagnostic evaluation will know what to look for.

Thanks, all.
I have already taken some multiple-choice tests as the first stage of the assessment, so hopefully these will be discussed and I will be suitably distracted from my initial discomfort with the situation!
Answers are important to me - and the right one, as far as can be determined. If ASD is not the explanation then maybe the practitioner will be able to suggest other things to be looked into.
I can understand why some people choose self-diagnosis though. It worries me that most general practitioners are only familiar with stereotypes, and that there is not enough research into ASD in women.

Indeed. Good luck!

I'm going through all this too! When I sent in my pre-assessment paperwork, I included 8 pages of notes, included all of my online ASD test results. My best friend added her observations of me over the past 8 or so years too! She's an OT and she said that if they don't give me an ASD Dx, she'd call BS. She also said that her friend has an ASD Dx, and he's more normal than I am...... That made me a lot more confident in my self diagnosis.

The assessor I've been emailing already agrees that an assessment is a good idea for me, so at least from the little they already know about me, they see that there's a chance I am on the spectrum. This makes me slightly more confident, but I'm still very worried that I may have been wrong these past 2 years.

I sent in my paperwork several days ago, and I'm going crazy waiting for them to contact me!

Glad that we are not alone, jetbuilder!
I couldn't resist adding notes to the multiple-choice tests, even though they are scored electronically.
It took someone else to suggest to me that I may have female Asperger's - I would never have suspected it otherwise because at the time I too was only familiar with stereotypes.
I am only trying to figure out why I seem different and have problems and experiences that other people just don't seem to have, so that I may be understood better and be able to access support. Yet it seems that a lot of people are very suspicious or just not open to the idea at all because I am female and I don't have an obsession with numbers. I do doubt myself and feel like a fraud sometimes. You're not alone.

I think that it is best to avoid preparing too much, and let yourself spontaneously act and react at the appointment without thinking about presenting a certain way.