being clueless

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I went to a 4th of July party yesterday and was talking to this one guy about what he does for a living. He said he does compliance in a bank and one of the companies he is working for is a law firm. I have an issue that there are a lot of things I don't know about the world around me. I learned several years ago what compliance means. I didn't know it beforehand. Yesterday, I asked him how is a law firm connected to his bank. He looked strangely at me and said that they work together. A lot of times, when people talk to me about what they do or what is happening in their lives, I am clueless like that. Another example is that a friend of my mom's, many years ago, told me that she works for an insurance company and told her boss she wanted to be in the business section. I have no idea what that means but didn't ask her for an explanation because I hate to appear clueless. Does anyone else have this problem of being clueless?

Yeah, it IS confusing even among those working for a business.

There are a few different ways that a person can work for a business: 1) as a direct employee (this is what most people are familiar with) by working at the same place with the same coworkers day after day, 2) as an employee of a large business by working for that business's subsidiary or "division" which specializes in certain projects or routine tasks like inventory, sales, bookkeeping, or 3) as a contract employee (some people work for a business like a law office) who agrees to work for another business which needs its service (legal advice) for a short or even long period of time. All employees work at the same place, but might be employed by two or three different businesses which agreed to share their employees for certain reasons.

The larger a business is, the more likely they have division or contract employees.

So, yeah, the guy with whom you were talking, was probably a contract lawyer advising your employer. There is no reason to be embarrassed about your confusion. Like I stated, even the employees themselves don't always understand who's who and why. Hehe.

Don't be too worried about not understanding that kind of thing -- many people don't fully understand the intricacies of the corporate world and that of finance, even some of the people working in those fields. Some of those people would probably be a little clueless themselves if the tables were turned and they were in conversation with a composer, musician, artist, or someone with a book deal, and they wouldn't know how that person's industry works. They too would have to ask for explanations for what things mean or what the person has to do, or the mechanics of how their contracts are run and who everyone is in their immediate operation.

If I find myself talking to someone who describes something about their life or work that leaves me clueless, sometimes it helps to start with "I am so unfamiliar with that world, educate me a little and tell me, what does that mean and how does it work when that happens?" (Or whatever the question will be.) It's hard sometimes to admit you don't know anything about someone's field or how their profession even works, but that's a very common thing. There are so many walks of life, professions, industries, etc, that not everyone can know much about each of them, not intimately at least. There's no shame in admitting to someone you don't know much about their line of work. Many people are all too willing to dive in and explain more.

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Nah.

Not unless you're Asian or something.

Apologies for stereotyping... or at least apologies for anyone getting offended by my stereotyping... but I always figured that being afraid to admit that you don't know something was a distinctly Asian mannerism.

Personally, I don't have a single issue with admitting I don't know something.
I DO however have an issue with people who treat my admission of not knowing something like admitting that I don't know anything whatsoever. Mostly because those people... don't know anything whatsoever.

I look at things like that this way. They went to school to understand how that type of stuff works, I went to school for electrical engineering and computer science. I could tell them things about my job that they would never understand, so I don't feel bad when they tell me stuff about their job I don't understand. If they start giving me flak about not understanding, I start talking stuff they don't understand, and make them understand.

Do I feel clueless about what? (sorry, couldn't resist )

Yes, I feel clueless about a lot peoples lives when socializing, and that most likely will not change.

Over the years, I found out that small talk and not deep understanding is what most people want out of a conversation.

I'm not great at small talk, but I know enough to just say 'Oh, tell me more.' when people speak to me about things I don't know. I can also switch the topic to something generic like the weather, or how that person knows the host.

And I work hard to remember that some people I talk to are just rude or insensitive, and that I'm not always at fault for social miscues.