Why do we conform? To please others? To please ourselves? I'm not sure I can answer that question
I do however, think that conforming to the standards of others is dysfunctional. Whether it be family, a spouse, a social group, breaking your own moral, ethical, or social standards to comply with someone else just feels wrong.
I think it's easy to fall into the trap that because we have a disability, we are in the wrong, and therefore must "fix" ourselves to comply with the norm. As I've gotten out into the real world and started working in a very diverse environment, I've been forced to realize that there are a lot of different beliefs and dynamics present in other people. I think there are a lot of people outside of the autism spectrum would would advocate against following the sheep mentality and going along with everyone else. It's certainly not the easiest thing to do, but I think it is the right thing.
Not sure if this is what you were talking about, but that is my interpretation, hope it helps.