What I Observed When One of My Routines Was Disrupted

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I learned something pretty significant and very interesting about myself yesterday. I have developed a new routine lately where every night I actually tell my husband good night, not just go to sleep with him but actually say the words "good night", and also call my oldest brother whom I am really close to and we say "good night" to each other as well. Since I have been doing that I noticed that I sleep much better, I wake up naturally without an alarm clock between 5:30 and 6:00 and I am much more refreshed when I get up. I noticed that before I did that my thoughts used to race all night long and some of them were anxious thoughts and I would never settle down and just relax and sleep.

Well the other day, my brother misplaced his phone and I was not able to call him for two nights. I still said good night to my husband but only to him. And for those two days I could not fall asleep until two or three in the morning. This is how it would often be before for me. But what I noticed was that once I was able to say good night to both of them again, was that it was almost like I could feel an actual kind of switch in my brain turn a signal. Once I said good night to both of them, it was like a light was turned off in my head and everything went into "now you can rest mode". I literally felt a switch in my brain and it was really amazing. What I figured from that experience is I think that one reason why it is really hard for us when our routines are disrupted is maybe because our routines cause little switches in our brains that signal us to calm down and relax and feel safe and secure. That is how I feel when I say good night to my husband and my brother says good night to me. I think I need both of them because with my husband it's more adult mode and with my brother it's in little kid mode.

I think it's possible that if whatever the established routine that makes you feel safe is disturbed than your brain switches back to alert mode and spends a lot of energy trying to process and figure out what to do and it can become very overwhelming and can cause real anxiety. I don't know if I am actually correct in my observation but it's a thought.

It's hard to sleep when you are worried or anxious and your thoughts are racing. If saying goodnight to your brother and husband makes you feel not anxious then it makes sense that you will sleep better.
That's a lot better than having to take medication to help you sleep.

I don't get that sort of thing as much as I used to.

I think something broke in me years ago when I basically became super-fatalistic... and now when things go wrong, I tend to just think "Oh well. s**t happens" ... and just get on with my existence.

I don't heavily stress out unless things are going seriously wrong... like when my laptop sustained water-damage and completely bricked, and I had a hangover... and had to go get a new laptop and retrieve the data from my old one WITH a throbbing hangover... and the store was about to close... and... yeah.


That said... if people try to walk past me on my left side enough in a go, I will tend to stay annoyed and short-of-patience for the rest of the day.

Great observations skibum.

My brain goes into overdrive when my routines are disrupted simply because I have to think more about what I'm doing. I have to think more about coordinating my physical movements, think about what I have to say, think hard about filtering out background noise, etc. If it's routine and familiar I don't have to think so much.

If I had to sum up my neurological problems I would say, I just have to think really hard about every little thing I do so I don't do something really stupid or physically hurt myself. I feel quite literally unsafe in my own body sometimes because my judgment and coordination can be off. So safety is doing something familiar, like for instance knowing the distance I need to reach for something because it's something I've done thousands of times, or knowing a road because I've driven on it for years.

Safety is in knowing what to say or do because the situation is familiar. Mental confusion, sensory overwhelm and the like feel unsafe, because they actually do have the potential to generate unsafe conditions. So naturally, every little thing that my brain recognizes as familiar and comforting calms it down, ie the exact taste of food or drink I am used to, the sound of a familiar voice, the sensation of touching something familiar, sitting in the same chair I normally sit in, or being in my own bed, or parking in the same parking space I am used to.

I can very much relate to how you describe the feeling.

I also know that feeling.