Understanding your own emotions

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One of my favorite songs from a while back (though I still like it) was "Sometimes I Don't Know What to Feel," by Todd Rundgren. In fact, sometimes I don't even know what I am feeling. Sure, I appreciate more now that we simply feel things, then decide to put a label on it. That labeling process can change the feeling into something more in line with the word we choose to use for that feeling. By themselves, feelings don't always fit into neat categories, and it seems like a cop out to put an octagonal peg into a square hole just because it sort of fits.

I've felt fearful and anxious for a few days now, although logically I have had incredible luck and I have done really good work for the past few years. Even saying fearful and anxious doesn't really describe what I actually feel, but it seems to help a little to label it and use the process that I have for dealing with those types of feelings.

Other times, I suddenly realize that I've been feeling something, but I don't even know what to call it. I even occasionally have feelings that I can't even classify as enjoyable or unpleasant. It seems like an autism-related thing, so I thought I 'd put it out there and see if anyone else has had this experience. I don't know how well I conveyed my meaning, so don't worry if your experience doesn't match my description. I'd just like to know how other people here experience and relate to their emotions.

When i'm not sure what i'm feeling, i...well kinda dwell on it. i write nonsense words on a scrap of paper to let it out.

when i can't find labels to describe my feelings...well sometimes i create my own.

I get this sometimes too... I kinda make it worse by overthinking it and assigning possible problems to it. Or sometimes I will research what it may mean in psychology extensively (I like psychology as an interest, but here I'm just upsetting myself).... so yeah, totally get that

I think it's called alexithymia. I used to think I was really in tune with my emotions but when I took a really good look at it, I'm just really foggy about it most of the time.

There is the thread in the Haven: scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?
My first inclination is to post, then I realize I don't know how I feel 95% of the time. About 5% of the time, I feel I definitely know.

I read the definition of alexithymia, and it made me feel a little depressed. If anything I've done has helped, I'd say that breathwork has improved my ability to experience and appreciate the nature of my emotions, although I haven't experienced the same level of improvement in describing them.

I've always thought that sometimes not knowing what I was feeling was part of being autistic. While sometimes I'm in touch with my emotions, sometimes I'm not. Occasionally my wife even points out to me that I've reacted in a way that would seem to indicate I'm feeling <<fill in the blank>>. Upon reflection, she is often correct.

It's as if my emotions are kind of carrying on doing their thing and there's a bit of disconnect between my cognition and my emotions. Almost like that if I'm not paying attention to my emotions then they don't register with the thinking part of my brain even though they are there.

I know the above is kind of an oddball explantation but that's the best I can come up with...

I don't understand the why of my emotions and am often overwhelmed and confused by them. It can take me weeks to make sense of an experience I've had and my behaviour.

I'm pretty good at discerning my emotions in general; I'm very bad at articulating them, though, through oral speech--and sometimes, even writing.

I'm aware of my emotions many times in general, but the specifics are often puzzling. The most prevalent ones are usually depression, confusion, and frustration. I do know how to relax, but it takes some effort to help me ignore the mental chaos I go through every day.

I'm really weird when it comes to this. It's as if I've been structured into believing I'm feeling emotional, when I'm not.

For example, during exam time I'll claim that I'm stressed, when I'm not feeling anything at all. I feel apathy in that case.

I can't actually tell if my emotions are genuine or not, but I know when I should be experiencing them. The ones I can definitely feel are sadness, anxiety and happiness/hyperactivity(?). I remember feeling excited when I was young, but I haven't felt that in a long time. I'm not sure whether or not that's due to subconscious deflation in order to lessen the affect disappointment has on me, but it doesn't matter.

In a way, it's as if most of my emotions are light or not there (and I don't know they aren't actually there and delude myself into believing they are), outside of the three I listed. Even when 'angry', it's more of a thought, a state of hyperactivity, than what I would think is actual anger. If someone were to yell at me and insult me, I'd probably want revenge, but if they were to apologize, I would instantly forgive them due to no lasting 'anger' or something like that.

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

Well, I think, it is quite normal not to be able to know what we feel all the time. A lot of the time we are, thank god, neutral. Possibly there are feelings going on all the time, but we manage to suppress them a lot of the time in order to function rationally in everyday life. That goes for most normal people.
Nt´s have confusion about their feelings some of the way too as well as meltdown like states here and there, but I think, that people in our department tend to speculate more because of our pronounced need for categorizing things - because, like Moviefan writes, the specifics are confusing.
A reaction can take days, before it becomes clear, what it is about.

I think everyone has this problem, NT's included. I have heard many times from a NT that they don't know how to feel about something. They are unable to express or react to something because they can't understand how they are feeling. Theirs so many feelings and emotions. How can anyone recognize and express them in the same way. And this is only in English. Other culture have different ways to express and communicate emotions. Too me many of the things on the list below are the same. How can one distinguish so many of them? How does one express acceptance? I know what acceptance means but how does one feel it?


A
acceptance
admiration
adoration
affection
afraid
agitation
aggressive
aggravation
agony
alarm
alienation
amazement
amusement
anger
angry
anguish
annoyance
anticipation
anxiety
apprehension
assured
astonishment
attachment
attraction
awe

B
bewitched
bitterness
bliss
blue
boredom

C
calculating
calm
capricious
caring
cautious
charmed
cheerful
closeness
compassion
composed
contempt
concerned
contentment
crabby
crazed
crazy
cross
cruel

D
defeat
defiance
delighted
dependence
depressed
desire
disappointment
disapproval
discontent
disenchanted
disgust
disillusioned
dislike
dismay
displeasure
dissatisfied
distraction
distress
disturbed
dread

E
eager
earnest
easy-going
ecstasy
ecstatic
elation
embarrassment
emotion
emotional
enamored
enchanted
enjoyment
enraged
enraptured
enthralled
enthusiasm
envious
envy
equanimity
euphoria
exasperation
excited
exhausted
extroverted
exuberant

F
fascinated
fear
fearful
ferocity
fondness
fright
frightened
frustration
furious
fury

G
generous
glad
gloomy
glum
greedy
grief
grim
grouchy
grumpy
guilt

H
happiness
happy
homesick
hopeless
horror
hostility
humiliation
hurt
hysteria

I
infatuated
insecurity
insulted
interested
introverted
irritation
isolation

J
jaded
jealous
jittery
jolliness
jolly
joviality
jubilation
joy

K
keen
kind
kindhearted
kindly

L
laid back
lazy
like
liking
loathing
lonely
longing
loneliness
love
lulled
lust

M
mad
misery
modesty
mortification

N
naughty
neediness
neglected
nervous
nirvana

O
open
optimism
ornery
outgoing
outrage

P
panic
passion
peaceful
pensive
pessimism
pity
placid
pleased
pride
pushy

Q
quarrelsome
queasy
querulous
quick-witted
quiet
quirky

R
rage
rapture
rejection
relief
relieved
remorse
repentance
resentment
revulsion
roused

S
sad
sadness
sarcastic
sardonic
satisfaction
scared
scorn
self-assured
sentimentality
serenity
shame
shock
sorrow
sorry
spellbound
spite
stingy
submission
suffering
surprise
sympathy

T
tenderness
tense
terror
threatening
thrill
timidity
torment
tranquil
triumph
trust

U
uncomfortable
unhappiness
unhappy
upset

V
vain
vanity
venal
vengeful
vigilance
vivacious

W
wary
watchfulness
weariness
weary
woe
wonder
worried
wrathful

Z
zeal
zest