I was diagnosed as a child and had no idea

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Hey there, I have no idea if this is the right place to post this.

I'm completely new to this site, but certain events have led me to finally try to reach out to the AS community.

Up until May of this year, I had believed I was neuroatypical due to a bout of depression in 2013 and self diagnosed primarily obsessional OCD. However I felt that I fit a good amount symptoms of Asperger's, but they were not 'socially debilitating' enough for me to self diagnose. The most important clue was that my kindergarten teacher had believed I was mentally disabled because I very rarely talked, and when I did it was about strange tangents to the conversation. As a child I would keep to myself, was extremely shy, and had few extreme interests, though I was extremely bright and could read chapter books at the age of 4.
This May my mother casually mentioned that I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a child, and was surprised to hear that I did not know this.
Now I am debating with myself over whether I actually am an Aspie. I am seemingly NT, but I often surprise friends when I start talking extensively about my interests, keep to myself to the point of isolation, and sometimes come off as rude or angry without meaning to, among other things that make me "pretty normal but a little weird."
I currently battle with many mind processes that prevent me from having healthy fulfilling relationships with my parents, with friends and with society in general. I am angry and frustrated by feeling like I am obsessive, clingy, unable to handle change within my living situation, and unfulfilled in my university and career.
I do not know if it is okay for me to claim the Aspie identity because I don't know if I have inadvertently learned how to act NT, or if I was misdiagnosed as a kid or my mother is lying to me. (I am 18 years old!)

I am so very lost, and I need help and support!

hiya and welcome to the club you are in the right place now.

Sure sounds like you might be on the spectrum, and if your mother told you that you were diagnosed that's probably true. People learn to deal with their symptoms and develop coping strategies to appear more "normal" as they grow older. That doesn't mean that you've turned NT. And you seem to be struggling with many of the typical AS issues right now.

Hi, welcome to WP
It does sound like you may have Aspergers. I appear NT some of the time, even to point where people have been surprised to learn I have AS. Don't get me wrong, people still think of me as weird though, especially when I lose my temper over small things.
If it's really bothering you, though, it might be worth seeing a professional about your concerns.
Good luck!

Welcome. You sound typical enough.
If you have doubts now, it is because you learned to handle things the NT way.
Regard that as training and allow yourself to go back and recognize your asperger qualities.

I am an Aspie and so is my son. I had no support as a child and experienced many of the things Aspies do. I thought I would try some things for my son. We are not so much interested in the theory of what Aspergers is, the mechanism of how it works, or the category people want to assign it. We are mostly interested in what can help our son.

I consider Aspergers to be a somewhat loose set of neurological sensory and processing differences. As a result, we decided to experiment with various herbal supplements to see if my son could find anything that would be helpful.

There are many herbs and most have no effect. However, we were able to find several that had various effects. Lithium Orate is one that was helpful a few hundred milligrams once a week seems to be sufficient. We also found that Mucuna Pruriens was really effective for reducing the intensity of intrusive thoughts. However, we have found that Fava beans each morning provide enough trace supplemental dopamine to accomplish the same thing. L-theanine also was effective.

There are a number of different chemicals in the brain. Supplements can effect these to some degree. We have found experimentation a successful way to determine things that can be effective in helping reduce some unwanted effects. This is not a "cure" and I would not suggest anything other than small doses. However, we have fond some things that definitely make life a little better.

Hi. Similar happened to me. Something horrible happened when I was 15, which resulted in me being referred to a psychiatrist for the first time in secondary school, as those dealing with me knew that only people with mental illness got into the situation I was in. The psychiatrist told it me in front of my parents, who said they knew already. I found knowing really helped, and for the next year I seemed to tell half the people I met about it, became very vocal and active about it, before stopping shortly into sixth form as I felt it seemed to cause me to act differently and others to treat me differently.

Finding out was huge though. I had a friend with it who struggled to harness his intelligence due to it and got flack for it in school. We discussed it (and still do) but about a week before finding out I read up on it and practically became a self-diagnosed type anyway, until I realised I genuinely had it.

I don't particularly resent not knowing until then. I was very keen on teaching myself social rules, which at one point ended with a friend trying to convince me to become a pick-up artist type, but I consider myself much more functional now. It especially made sense up to the start of secondary school, when I was something of a prodigy but also acted out of turn in ridiculous, nonsensical and very embarrassing ways.

I'd always felt myself different but then don't we all? I'm going back to a child/adolescent here. Like no matter how hard I tried to be a working cog in a social situation something came up that made me awkward company to keep. Or that I was never integral to any group of friends. Or that the most enjoyable times I saw others have, it was without me. That friends seemed to feel more free when I wasn't around them. That everyone had opinions of me they were keeping well to themselves. That adults were secretly discussing and making plans for me as an exceptional case. That there were very few children who could do what I could do, and few that couldn't do the things I couldn't do (things like using a swing, riding a bike, and clicking fingers took a while). Like most children I suppose, I didn't know about mental conditions: in pre-pubescence I probably knew little more than Down's, and that some people were in wheelchairs for various reasons. However I felt there was a label for me, even if that was just "Robert."

Perhaps that's cynical but it gave me a real release when I knew what was up with me. I hope it helps you build too.

Welcome to Wrong Planet

If possible I would try and get a copy of your diagnostic report either from your mother or the clinician who diagnosed you of she/he is still around.

This is a list of traits by Dr. Tony Attwood
http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php ... -aspergers
He also wrote a book "The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome" that is highly recommended.
http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php ... s-syndrome
Of course read the posts on this website.

Either you will relate to what is being said or you won't and that is how you will know.

I think whether your an aspie or not, if you have stuff in your life or behavior that needs to be worked out, or worked through or worked around....then find ways that help you accomplish that. The three options I mentioned in my opinion are all you can do regarding autism and many other problems to boot. And you may not act as NT as you think you do. You did mention a lot of stuff you do that makes you wonder if aspie.

What do you want to do about it?

Hi, all. I've had a hectic weekend so far so I wasn't able to reply sooner.

I really appreciate your responses, support and validation of my concerns.
ASPartOfMe, I have read through the list of traits you have included and can see myself reflected in most of them. What's interesting is that because most typical trait lists usually only include diagnostic criteria for boys, a great reason why I had doubted whether I was on the spectrum at all. Once I found a list of traits for girls, I started crying because I couldn't believe I was not the only one to be going through this.
Honestly, yes, coming to terms with knowing that I am probably on the spectrum has allowed me to understand that I am not a bad person, and that I cope with problems in a different way and need a different kind of support than NTs do.
I have issues concerning my self image, especially because my mother treated me as a NT kid and often said I was selfish and rude. I understand that she did not have the proper resources to understand me and was raised to believe that neuroatypical people refuse to be 'socially acceptable,' but my relationship with her is extremely strained.
I have general issues with my life that I do not know how to solve on my own, and I would definitely love to have a therapist to talk to about it.
However, I am afraid to go to a therapist that my insurance accepts, and find that they're uneducated about AS. The last therapist I spoke to was extremely uneducated about mental illness other than depression, was condescending and generally didn't really care about me.
Do any of you have any recommendations on how to find a therapist who can help a person on the spectrum?

I went through almost an identical experience. I was diagnosed when I was like 12, but didn't find out until I was around 24. A therapist that I was seeing at the time said she thought I had Aspergers, and when I mentioned it to my parents they said "Oh, you were already diagnosed with that when you were younger".