Talking is hard

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I dont know why but talking is hard.

I dont always know how to get my thoughts into words. That's why psychiatrist appointments are hard. Counseling appointments are also hard.

I feel like thats why I have no friends. I dont talk enough and I'm "weird" according to most people.

This is just a commiseration comment note: I am told I was very too talkative about everything till age 4. Then I quit. Much later I did it when forced, and it was awful. Way later, in my 20's something clicked and I "converse talked" about stuff I like, especially when content details were involved; but never again ever talked emptyness. It was a palpable difference of my choosing. Best wishes.

I communicate better in writing than I can verbally as I can have trouble with thought process whening having to speak to people.

I often can't think of anything to say, will say the wrong thing, will get a reaction I was not expecting from others or will forget half of what I wanted to say.

I can have trouble with finding the right cue to speak and can accidently talk over people by mistake.

I don't have any friends either but then I don't really crave any. I have a very low social drive, don't enjoy girly chit chats, don't like generalised social chit chat either, need a lot of alone time, don't like company much of the time, find socialising exhausting, prefer to do a lot of activities on my own, get tired from socialising very quickly, and can't cope with the complex emotions NT females have. I only seem to crave a life partner but don't seem to enjoy the company of other humans, even the ones I like.

I can find other humans far too negative and too emotional for me. In short I find human relationships too complicated and I don't cope with conflict because I don't know how to resolve it.

I am confused by the worlds of other humans and cannot understand them.

I used to want to study them when I was younger (humans) as I had an interest in psychology. I was trying to figure them out as they have always confuddled me.

I am more comfortable and get my point across better in writing

Why?

Are you having trouble with...
Processing words? Approaching people? Physical processes of speech?
Or just the idea of speaking out in general?



I can attest speaking is harder than writing.
Not out of fear, practice or inability. My issues are more to do with words...
Speaking is more than just words and wording.

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There can be a overlap of the Aspergers neurological variant with that which produces a degree of selective mutism. On the plus side, the mustism aspect may be more amenable to change over time.

Communication euphemism for (noise pollution )

It never ceases to amaze me how much Psychobabble Extroverts talk

They act like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention. Way too enthusiastic

With 20/20 hearing, easily distracted or startled

Then when garbage comes out of my beak, they half listen and grunt "huh" and "what" like they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

Please do not "be true to yourself"

Even if i talk, it appears monotonous and I dont understand the nonverbal communication coming from counterparty.

OP talks about psychiatry, talk about a thing indeed. My experiences with them have been overwhelmingly negative.

First few times decade ago I was in denial about my ASD so I failed to mention it (easy since it was a childhood diagnosis and my parents didn't crow about it to me since I could function in intermettent time).

I couldn't get the help I need. I only got SSRis and group therapy so I was treated like a NT.

Now that I've got to the psychs again due to my alcohol abuse, they treat me like an NT and give me such help.

And it is hell.

I live in a country with public healthcare but that is measured to NTs. I have to seek a private doctor since they don't care about ASD patients in public healthcare (why would they care for a 1% group anyway). If I don't get my employer to pay for it, I will take a loan to do so.

I will also look whether unis want a test subject in exchange of providing care for me.

I've always found verbalizing my thoughts very hard to do, but my concerns about it have always been brushed off. I usually stay relatively quiet in conversations because no one outside my family listens to me anyways.

I can think of what I want to say just fine, but for some reason I can't figure out how to say it. I stumble over my words and stutter a lot since talking is such a struggle. Verbal conversations also need responses that are given way too fast for me to process properly.

I find writing much easier than talking. In a professional setting I don't talk much and I think it makes me seem uninterested when I'm actually quite engaged. When I do talk I feel like it's not what I wanted to say, or comes out wrong/the tone is off. At home I talk too much, info dumping, etc. Loved ones are used to it but I'm still trying every day to tone it down.

I can relate to what you are saying.

When I was in elementary school and all way through college i had an enormous problem with writing. Can an adult I can look back ans say it may have been executive functioning problems. I would know what I wanted to say but handwriting and spelling were VERY VERY hard for me - the more I worked to correct those problems the less I could keep track of what it was I wanted to say. I found this frustrating and this would make writing harder too. I also have this problem where I want to say a word but the wrong word comes out or "gets in the way" of the right word. This problem is actually lessened when I am speaking out loud or in e-mail. When speaking I hear the wrong word and can correct it then. When I am writing I sometimes have to say two or three "wrong words" out loud to get to the right one. Writing on a computer with internet access is easier - there is built in spell checker and I can used google and "onelook.com" to look up words that are lost or look up the definitions of several words that "climb over each other" like "there", "their" and "they're" or "style" and "stile" that spell checkers don't help with much. But I still have trouble with "chatting" at a party or "formal speaking" for work. Writing a long paper where there should be a "beginning, middle and an end" I often end up with three middles. I like writing on a "wiki" because the ideas can be connected in a web, but in a line.

So even though, for me, writing is harder than speaking, I can still relate. Language is complicated and it can be very very hard.