What's the deal with being "fashionably late"?

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I noticed this in the past 12 years or so: for anything other than work/school or an event with a strict start time, like a movie, it's actually bad to come at the time indicated in the invitation. Doesn't matter what invitation: formal or informal, written or verbal. It's simply considered "bad" or some violation of an unwritten rule to come there right on time, and practically a travesty to come early. (Again, this doesn't apply to work/school or things like movies). Despite me being a stickler for punctuality, I have to force myself not to come to parties on time on the dot, or not to think people forgot about me when they don't come to my party on time on the dot. With that said, a famous site Meetup.com is an anomaly to all this. Their events are meant to start right on time, and members know it.

This seems to be largely an American thing. Cultures like Germany are very meticulous about punctuality, no matter for what event, so "fashionably late" would be "rudely late" there. And in South American countries, "fashionably late" is "normally late", because most people don't come to a party until at least an hour after the indicated start time. Many Jewish communities around the Untied States have their own term for this: "Israel time". Informal invitations will even use the term in writing, whether to tell people to do so or to caution them against it. It's a jocular reference to the laissez faire attitude toward punctuality among Israelis, even for work to some extent. (Similar to the attitude in most of southern Europe, where Sephardic Jews immigrated from.)

It didn't seem like being fashionable late was common in the US prior to year 2000 or so. It's a relatively new phenomenon. Many older etiquette books even tell you to come to a party on time. So when did the attitude change? What drove the change? And how is being late "fashionable"? Inquiring minds want to know. Share your opinions.

Never in my life have I had anyone criticize or have a negative response to me showing up somewhere on time, or even early( I might get irritated if i get somewhere early because then i have to wait and I hate waiting). I have heard the term fashionably late, and thought it was more just sort of something people say to keep the mood light because they where 'late' like instead of saying 'I'm always late" and feeling bad they can just say 'I tend to be fashionably late' or if there is someone who is somewhat known to be late other people will say 'oh they tend to be fashionably late' but I never took it as a serious thing where people actually get offended if you aren't 'fashionably late'

Maybe its just the people you're hanging around....but i will be curious to see what others say, see if they have experienced what you describe or have seen it more how I describe.

Yeah, like the other posters said, I think it's something some habitual late person made-up to excuse their always being late----also, like the OP said, it was used to make a grand entrance, like a Grand Dame (like movie stars would do, in the 40s). As far as the 2000s, I agree with the OP in that I don't think I've heard it since the 2000s----but, I can remember hearing it as far back as the 80s. Like the other poster said, I had to condition myself to be late----like, we'd leave at the time the invitation said to be there. As for my personal friends' parties / dinners / "Poker Nights" / whatever, we would plan to be there at about 10 to. I can remember going to a friend's annual Christmas party, and getting there at 10 to, and everybody was already there, pretty much.

There have been a few people that done that to me before, but I have been stood up so much that if a person was later then 10 min I would leave, I wont wait for anyone anymore past that.

I have noticed people being late too. It took me a long time to figure out I didn't have to be on time. Doctor appointments, work, movies, don't apply including when you have a date or when you meet someone. I found out showing up at a work interview way too early is a bad sign so wait out in your car. I forget how soon you can walk inside before the interview. But I have never seen any criticism about being on time.

I have never understood this. I've tried asking a few times what constitutes 'fashionable' lateness, but nobody has given a definitive answer.

Most people I know complain about people who are late.

The origin of this historically is in the "Grand Balls" held by royalty or the aristocracy in France. The most important people (the highest status) arrived last, making a grand entrance, so that those of lesser importance formed a waiting audience. This tradition (once the revolution was well in the past and the aristocracy returned to Paris) continued, and has remained a tradition in French "haute societie". However it changed in the 20th century in France: as nobody wanted to be the first to arrive, (thus positioning themself as the lowest class, the least important personages), everyone turned up late.

In the second half of the 20th century, the influence of French culture (fashion, cooking, etc) was increasingly taken up by many other Western countries, and perhaps particularly those with "pioneer" roots, who wanted to appear more sophisticated - like the USA, New Zealand, etc.
It is a middle and upper class thing here now; you are looked down upon if you are punctual for a party or dinner party..(though weddings are the exception, only the bride may be late). The rule is to arrive 20-30 minutes after the stated time (though the rule itself is never stated).

Anyway that's where fashionably late came from. Like most "rules" based on snobbery, it is never overtly stated.

Whenever I show up to a concert at the time the doors open there never ready to let me in, actually fact I given my looks have been often confused as a performer. 30 min late appears to be the norm.

It's a thing here in Australia too. No one wants to be the first to arrive, and then have to make small talk with the hosts or one or two others. As for myself, I'm torn on the idea.

Part of me wants to meet the assigned time - after all, why set a time if you mean half an hour later? Will I miss something important if I'm late? Will I be embarrassed, like when I was late for class as a kid? It feels rude to turn up late.

Part of me wants to arrive maybe 15 min late, or later. That way there's less chance I'll need to make a lot of small talk, I can find a nice corner and be hidden by the crowd.

But if it's a sit-down thing, I try not to be too late so I can choose a seat that's not at the center of things. I turned up late to a dinner once and found myself at the head of the table - awwwkwarrrrd.

I have never understood this. I get anxious when I'm not going to be 15 minutes EARLY to an event, let alone LATE.

The only time I allow myself to be late is to a gig where I'm seeing some bands play. I always show up only for the band I want to see so as to not go through sensory overload. I used to put myself through watching every support act but in the spirit of being kind to myself, as I've gotten older I've let that go. It's very common in the scene I'm in for people to frown upon people who only show up for the headliner/second headliner, but now that I'm not too involved in it I don't care much about keeping up appearances.