Aspies are big children on an emotional level?

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The truth hurts and if this is true I hold up my hand.

Anyway I don't want this to be a negative thread what I am looking for is to read some experiences of people on the spectrum who have matured and leaned to have a thicker skin.

I am getting there but it is a bumpy road.

I'm a big kid myself.

I've learned to adapt to my world though---though the kid in me sometimes gets me into minor trouble LOL

I was not aware maturity and thick skin where related.....though I am not a prime example of maturity, I don't think becoming more mature would cause a growing of thicker skin, I'd probably still have just as much difficulty with things that bother me....now if I somehow developed a lot more confidence that might do it, but then confidence and maturity aren't the same thing either....come to think of it what is maturity exactly?

emotionally im pretty immature, but actually im one of the emotionally healthiest person in my house, my sister has classic Borderline Personality Disorder as well as my mom and my dad is a Codependent. though yes, Immature, but not near as bad as my Sister and my mom.

Some people are jerks so they will say hurtful things to you. You just have to ignore it and not listen to them and move on. I realized this in high school and I couldn't stay young forever once I become an adult. I remember how much it hurt me when my dad's cousin told me how selfish I am and how my grandpa had a bad heart and I deeply upset him and he could have died of a heart attack. I am not sure how she said it but however she said it, I interpreted it as if I upset him and he dies from a heart attack, it will be my fault, so after that I avoided him and minimized being around them so I wouldn't upset him and have to worry about it and have no anxiety because I then wouldn't have to walk on eggshells and worry about if I was going to upset him or not. This went on until I moved and then he passed away. I know now it wouldn't be my fault if I did something and he got upset and then got a heart attack from it and died because he already had a bad heart and something else could upset him like what he saw on the news and would it be the news fault he died? But if I intentionally did something to upset him and he died from it, then it may be my fault because it was intentional. but what if it was not my intent to give him death? What if I didn't know he had a bad heart? But those words sure stuck and it hurt. It was an adult that said it to me but if it was another kid that said it, it would have been a different story. I was a teen then and being a teen is tough and their emotions are changing so verbally abusing them and putting them down destroys their emotions and self esteem. My mom was pretty pissed she did that to me and she never knew about it until after I moved. I just happened to tell her on the phone that I never wanted to upset him so I never wanted to be at his house long and she asked me why so I told her what my dad's cousin told me. So all those years she never knew. To this day I avoid her and decided I shouldn't even visit her because of how she treated me in my teens and we didn't get along. Why would she want to see me anyway? I shut people out of my life is what I do. Then I don't have to worry about them. They're gone, poof. Move on.

Mature and immaturity are subjective words because they all mean different things. You can be mature and immature in different things. In high school I was more mature than my peers but I was also immature due to my emotions and social skills but when it came to responsibility and life, I was mature. I was also very naive so that was immature too. Also the way you handle things can also be mature or immature.

Is this only aspies? Or is this a species-wide phenomenon?

All four of these replies are helpful and yes I am a big kid too.

I am like a child. What's wrong with that? At least I have fun.

I am a huge toddler.

At least I´m a teen. In a test I actually scored "adult". Earlier, I have heard many hurtful remarks, been problematised, put among the kids at dinners and so on.
After dx, the hurt has gone. I actually like being childish, - and frankly, I can see the child in other adults, almost no matter how "normal", they may be
My brother once told me, that we (humans) don´t age mentally after age 36.

I'd say I have matured significantly in my life, particularly after dx. It took a long way, though. Part of it is to understand that you can't just have it all, you need to let some of your dreams go (not all) to have more room to your true self. Since I always wanted to be a better person and better meant 'help people and myself' I needed a better sense of balance between the two halves. Not at all easy, considering that my neurology didn't provide me with the assets needed for efficient social interactions and reliable self-reflection. Autistic survival guides (particularly that of Marc Segar's) and this forum have taught me that I can learn new social skills. It's not that difficult but it requires a lot of practicing and possibly help from a therapist/close friend.

Maturity requires taking responsibility. I think it's more important than being independent. You can depend on others still you can be very much responsible for certain important life areas of your own and perhaps of other people, too. It all have to be laid out in your mind. One important thing is to speak up and stand up more for your own good (not only rights, but everything that can make your life better). As a general rule, keep your opinion to yourself and only disclose the ones that are appropriate for the situation and are in line with your intentions. Stick to your decisions even when they are seemingly failing (to a reasonable degree, of course). Never let others to play with you or abuse you in any way, even if their actions seem well meaning. Be firm, but diplomatic, as gentle as possible.

Rationalism is overrated (in general). People are emotional beings, autistic or not. So, listen to your emotions. Try to explain them. Try to trim them. A principal rule for autistics: The better you understand your emotions the more you can do for them. You have to nourish them, meaning doing all the things people usually do as ultimately they all are motivated by the same set of emotions. The only difference is that some do it instinctively (see: NTs), others with more and more rational thinking (mostly autistics). (In reality most people are a mix of the two.)

Uh, sorry. Yes, I'm a big kid, too.

I would agree, in a lot of ways we are like overgrown children. I know I am, even though I am older than most of my friends chronologically, in a lot of ways I feel much younger than them. To give you an idea, most of my friends are 18-19 years old. I feel more like I'm about 15 in comparison. In some ways a bit younger than that, in some ways a bit older, in a few ways way older. I feel immature and old at the same time.

I'm hesitant to say anything like this about our community in general -- I know a lot of autistic people who are just as "adult" as allistic adults -- but I would agree in regards to myself. My emotions are simple and childlike, I'm a non-sexual being despite being in my twenties, when I spend time with friends I just want to play games and eat snacks, several of my favourite TV shows are for kids or "families", and I dress exclusively in t-shirts and jeans or shorts. Hell, I even live with my parents.

Of course, on the other hand I like to go places by myself and speak in a formal way that would be incongruous with a child, so. It's not 100%.

As regards this thread It's nice to know I am not alone.

It's really nice to know I am not alone.