Describing yourself to new people

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I used to know a med student. When she wanted to avoid alienating
people, she would say "I work at the hospital" rather than
"I'm a doctor".

Do you have some way of explaining your difficulties that doesn't
use the word aspergers? Not because I am embarrassed about it,
but because I feel no-one knows what it is or really gives a toss. Especially
if you can't say you have it, only that you believe you have it.
What explanation do you give when pressed?

"I'm a bit slow"
"I don't speak body language"
"I can't keep up socially"
"My brain is powerful but slow"
"Neurologically challenged"
"Terribly shy"
"Don't go out much"
"Don't DO social"
"Can't handle groups"

Is there anything that has worked well for you in the past?

I can't say how well it works, but on my Internet profiles I state that I say what I mean and need straight-forward communication. I edit it endlessly, trying to make it not sound off-putting, but honestly, someone will find something objectionable in it.

I also say that I'm quiet, that I don't attend social functions, and that I can't tolerate a lot of small talk.

"My social skills suck."

"I'm smart," in a highly sarcastic tone of voice.

"I'm more of a computer person." Any stereotypes they jump to are likely true. I tend not to comment on Asperger's directly.

I either just outright say, "I have Asperger's" or I say, "I have issues." If someone wants specifics I never give them. I simply tell them that if they want to know me than they have to spend time with me and get to know me.

"I couldn't give away free money"

I just say that I'm "weird" or that I'm a "nerd". Unfortunately, it's considered "cool" to be a nerd nowadays so people don't really take me seriously.

Most of the time I just straight up tell them, "I have Asperger's" then wait to see if they ask more. If it's a situation where I'd rather they not know, such as at work, I just mention specific traits as they become relevant, such as, "I have trouble with a lot of noise," or, "It's just something I do sometimes," (a line I pulled out the other day when one of my coworkers caught me flapping and asked what "that" was.)

I just come out with it outright.

"I'm deaf -shows hearing aids- and autistic."

Sometimes I say "I don't read people very well"

I don't like casually dropping the A word in conversation because it me it feels like I'm making excuses.
I don't want people to think I'm trying to use Aspergers as a licence to screw up.

Misfit.

I belong to sub forum called Island of Misfits.