Dismissive psychologist, now what?

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Hi everyone,

A while back I posted on wrongplanet about my situation in the "other psychological conditions" section." I realized at the age of 29 that I have ADHD after finding out that someone I know was diagnosed with it. I immediately went to a psychiatrist and she also highly suspected ADHD, so much so that she wanted to diagnose me on the spot but due to my university's policy ( I'm currently in professional school), I had to get neuropsych tests from a psychologist. The psychiatrist also said that I may have Asperger's syndrome due to my perseverative obsessions and the fact that it was very hard for me to make friends until I was in my 20s.
I also told her about various stereotypies that I have engaged in since childhood like rocking back and forth and pacing (hand flapping also..which I actually didn't tell her about, because I didn't realize at the time of the interview that I actually DO hand flap when upset or excited). I'm sure she also noticed my poor eye contact as well. :-/

Anyway a few weeks later, at the ADHD neuropsych assessment, I brought up to the psychologist that my psychiatrist thought I may have Aspergers. He started laughing and said that I absolutely do not have Aspergers, and that he could tell "as soon as he met me" ( this was after a grand total of 10-15 minutes of talking to him). But "in order to ease my worries" he gave me the RAADS-R assessment. We did not go over it ( which I later read that you are supposed to do). The next day, when I came in to take the ADHD TOVA test, he told me that I did not have Aspergers and that I'm simply a "nerd" with ADHD...which he said in a well meaning way... because "nerd" is cool now, and it IS true, I am a big nerd. I walked away feeling ok about it at first, but I then increasingly felt like he dismissed many important aspects of my life and behavior.

A few weeks later, I got his write up. For the RAADS-R he wrote that I scored 76, but he only added up 3 of the 4 sub scores. If all of the sub scores are added together, I scored 90... and that was with conservative responses, as I felt a bit uncomfortable with the situation due to the fact that he already had decided what the outcome would be. I know many of the RAADS-R scores posted on here are extraordinarily high, but I think the point of the questionnaire is any score above 65 warrants further investigation which I did not get, in fact he tried his best to completely squash further investigation.

According to his write up, I could not possibly have Asperger's because:
I "wanted" to make friends as a child (though I failed miserably at it)
I've always done well in school and I am now in professional school
I'm highly intelligent and well-read
I'm married (soon to be divorced though, can't stand the verbal abuse anymore)
Many of my "problems" were only evident in childhood (yeah, only because I've painstakingly modified my behavior through trial and error, but he never asked for clarification)

As I've since learned, none of these reasons actually disproves an Asperger's diagnosis. And what does doing well in school, being highly intelligent and being well-read have to do with whether or not you are on the Autism spectrum????

Oh yeah, I'm also a female. I stumbled upon the QGAS questionnaire and scored astronomically high on it...it hit everything about me that made me feel different as a child, from my feelings of androgeny, to my precocious interest and talent in languages and linguistics, and my complete and utter exhaustion after prolonged social interactions ( all actual questions on the QGAS). I also got an aspie 146/ nt 94 on the infamous Aspie quiz (which landed me in Aspie territory). On the AQ, I get around 26-27, which is not 32, but it does meet the clinical cutoff used to warrant further investigation (I also have some issues with Simon Baron-Cohen's hypotheses...which definitely shaped AQ questionnaire, he seems to be obsessed with a very specific phenotypic manifestation of Aspergers...kind of odd, when you are really dealing with a spectrum).

Also both of my cousin's have ASDs, my uncle has dyslexia, and I at least have ADHD. I've also since learned that my grandmother suffered from "extremely high IQ and emotional problems." So my family isn't the most neurotypical on the block.

I won't give you the long list I've made of my symptoms that fit into the DSM-V's diagnostic triad as this post is waaaay too long, but there are plenty in all three categories. I also definitely have ADHD, but it doesn't really explain everything, I also don't feel like I can relate completely to people with ADHD either. I went to my school's disability office to obtain a note that would allow me to periodically excuse myself from my upcoming rotations for psychiatric appointments. The woman I talked to was full of "if you have ADHD then you must be interested in such in such for a career because you are so full of energy and don't enjoy the fine details, right?" or "you must be thinking this or that specific way, amiright??" And she was really insistent that I use testing accommodations in the future, which I absolutely don't want or need, especially now that I'm on meds. The whole experience felt a bit patronizing.

Anyway, I've since told my psychiatrist about what happened, but was rushed out in a hurry because our appointment time was not long enough. She told me to reschedule a longer visit, but in the mean time she told me some vague advice about "not worrying too much about labels."

I don't know, I'm just shocked by how unprofessional and outdated a psychologist at an academic institution could be ( being in a field where I will soon be interviewing patients, he was a great example of how you are NOT supposed to interview patients, so at least I learned something). I also wonder how he would have treated me if I was a guy presenting with the same symptoms. I'm also even wondering if I should keep pushing the Aspergers possibility with my psychiatrist, I really didn't have much time to hear her viewpoint on the subject but her use of the word "label" is a bit troubling to me. I'm just trying to figure myself out here, many of my childhood experiences have left emotional scars on me, and family members will often ask me why I behaved the way I did when I was younger...and I was never able to explain why (I still behave in many of the same ways but internally, or in private). I feel like I'm now getting closer to an explanation, but being massively dismissed by a professional at my first inquiry is very discouraging to me.

This is why its so important to find a specialist that has lots of experience with AS, not some schmuck reading off a checklist from a psych book.

You sound a lot like me. I have done well in school and im a doctor now but being an Aspie would explain everything thats been bothering me all my life, espevially why I feel I'm always struggling to appear "normal". I have also just divorced an emotionally abusive serial cheater. I was reading that Aspie women are particularly susceptible to abusive relationships. I am currently looking for an ASD soecialist to evaluate me. Even though i seem successful i think an ASD experienced therapist may be able to help me with my social issues, ocd, and organizational problems in a way others have not been able to. Especially because none of them so far could understand my mental stimming when i explained it to them.

My toddler was just diagnosed with autism. We all thought he was ok until he regressed because he acted a lot like i did when i was young!

I agree with the advice above. Find a psych or clinic that specializes in ASD, otherwise you'll get psychs who think they know it all. I saw a psychologist for depression a couple of years back (which he was good at helping me with), and looking back I gave him enough indicators for ASD, but he never even mentioned it. Glad to hear you're getting out of an abusive relationship - too many stay in.

I understand the frustration you're describing and am not saying you're wrong to want a proper assessment. My post is meant as perhaps explanation of what may be going on only, not as a judgment of you or the system.

There's a lot of controversy whether autism ever goes away, most people say not, so if your special interests fit well with an academic setting, and if you can connect with others there and have nt disability related to social interaction or communication, it would be unlikely a good evuator would find reason to make a diagnosis. No matter what you describe historicity and despite mild issues in the present.

You might have more difficulty in these areas in the future and be assessed as having ASD, right now though you'd have to appear to clearly need support in some way different from a typical student to be identified as having ASD. Doesn't mean you couldn't have it. And nothing but problems if you are thoroughly assessed as not having ASD by a closed minded individual who's determined it's not there before they start, been there with my child.

Again, I'm not saying what you want is wrong, just that the evaluators will normally focus on whether you need significant support communicating, socializing, and with rigid behaviors that is, have a disability, in the university life you now lead and relative to a typical student. And what you described to them may not sound like enough difficulty to meet their threshold.

Are you having problems dealing with life or something? Do you need somekind of support? Meltdowns? Troubles keeping a job? Relationship issues? Anxiety to the point that it is impairing you? If not, I would not worry about this too much. It would be very prudent to get a diagnoses if you have serious issues.

But of course, this depends on how you gauge such questions. These things don't have to be big problems before they weigh heavily on our minds. Sometimes we just need to make sense of our issues.

Well I did spend 8 years with a verbally abusive partner mostly because I dont have an extensive support system of friends... he was basically my only "friend" for the longest time. And I really only have maybe 2 friends right now (more like good acquaintances). I also have definite problems with emotional disregulation and rumination (my whole life).. and actually, it has started to interfere with my academics now that I'm honest with myself, I got a pretty low board score due to obsessive interest in another topic, these scores are definitely going to affect my future job placement. I've also been diagnosed with anxiety, years and years of watching other people easily being able to connect with each other and become friends did trash my self esteem and has caused me to avoid many situations and quit many things.

^^^^ good luck on your evaluation. I hope it helps you somehow.

I am quite familiar with diagnosticians who ignore screening-test scores, lifelong characteristics and co-occurrent factor diagnoses. I chose to step off the diagnosis path and be satisfied with what the totality of my evidence confirms without any official conclusion. I respect others who pursue a diagnosis, though.

There's your first problem.

If you have an ASD, you'll have the same trouble with peer relations your whole life.

I don't believe this is necessarily true, especially for women. In fact many girls with "high functioning" ASDs may have one or two special friends. Yeah I do think its weird that I preferred to walk around in circles "thinking" to myself (mostly about dog breeds) or rubbing my hands on the classroom carpet to "feel the rug burn" during freetime and recess rather than making friends in my early years of elementary school. I repressed these actions through the rest of school but literally did not know how to relate to my peers in anyway At home I was completely engrossed in my own interests. I literally did learn how to interact with people via watching TV shows, and my interactions with them are tiring. My cousins
who are also diagnosed with autistic disorders had/have more friends than I ever did at their ages ( though they both had early interventions).

I knew I probably should have just posted this in the women's forum. :-/

You can learn more as you get older. I don't think it ever gets easy, but an ASD doesn't mean you aren't able to consciously memorise social rules.

Aspies are notorious for lacking empathy and being way off the mark with their responses to others. Don't worry about people who don't understand. I hope you find someone who familiar with AS and find the answers you are seeking.

Technically, you should have learnt via rote pretty much all their is to learn before your twenties if you have average or above intelligence.

Granted, situations can change (the external environment), and you might just run into more understanding people at whatever age, but that's not really learning anything.

It's lifelong, and apart from using rote memory (which is far from perfect for social situations; it can actually be a hindrance too), it's not going to change when you get to 20 or 30.

And, you're also married. That's the penultimate social goal. It's highly unlikely (albeit, not impossible, but it's getting there) to have AS and be married.

You looked at broader autism phenotype? People, especially relatives of those with a diagnosable condition, can have such.

I'm not sure how that would work. Can you explain what you mean?


This may be true in general, but there seem to be quite a few of us here at WrongPlanet who are married.