Question about Adderall

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I was possibly misdiagnosed with ADD when I was 9, I only very recently (3 days ago) got an Asperger's diagnosis. So either I was misdiagnosed because the doctors only looked for signs of ADD, or they were actually right and it is secondary to Asperger's. I'm leaning more towards the misdiagnosis though.

My main reasoning for this is my experience with the medication. The non-stimulants never did a thing to my attention, at least not Straterra, and I don't know if I took any others. But my mom said only Adderall had an effect, which still did not really increase my attention. At the time I remember telling her I didn't like it (I think I was 11), because of the feeling it gave me. I described it as, "making me feel like I need to do something, but there's nothing for me to do."

Fast forward to more recently, I started taking it again before I even started to suspect autism. It actually helped (sometimes), but I think that the feeling I was trying to describe to my mom was that I was feeling restless or jittery. What I've also noticed, is that it seems to speed up my mind, and also make me feel more awake and energized (probably like what a normal person on caffeine feels). However, I still don't really pay more attention, it's actually almost worse. I start thinking a lot and my mind will kind of jump around, usually not a whole lot but still more than usual. And what I'm thinking is, isn't that what people who do have ADD or ADHD feel like normally? Usually, on no stimulants, I feel kind of slow. I still have the same ability to think but my thinking is slower, which makes me need to devote more attention to thinking and less to everything else. I like to think a lot, so I often seem very removed even when I am actively doing something, as I will just go into autopilot mode. On the Adderall, it feels like I can think of everything at once, so I don't need to go into autopilot and I have less trouble in conversations. However, in a classroom setting, this energized state would probably not help at all. From what I have read, ADD generally feels like the brain is jumping all over and can't focus in on one thing, or it hyper-focuses to the exclusion of all else. I get this way on the Adderall.

To me, it seems that rather than having ADD, I just have a high tolerance to stimulants. This would explain caffeine's minimal effect on me compared to others, and Adderall's somewhat helpful effects; but they are only helpful in the same way that I think a cup of coffee or energy drink is for an average person. An ADD person should be slowed down by it, right? Sometimes it doesn't even seem to help at all, either making me feel agitated and more easily overwhelmed, or it gives me a jittery nervous feeling and makes my heart pound. My therapist seemed skeptical about my idea that it was a misdiagnosis, and about Asperger's as well (I hadn't gotten the evaluation at that point). The problem is, if I do stop with the Adderall I might get fired, because I usually do my job a lot better if I have taken it (it involves a lot of multitasking which I hate). Then my grandpa would kick me out for not having a job and I'd end up homeless. It seems like a stretch but he already said he would kick me out if I got fired or quit, and he wouldn't care about the reasons.

google dr. Daniel Amen's work with ADHD and how he says there are at least 7 variants, each with different treatment regimens.

You sound like you are having a normal reaction to amphetamines, which you wouldn't if you had ADD. I'd get some second opinions if i were you, adderall is not at all healthy long term if you don't need it.

Adderall, as an amphetamine is in the same class of drugs as meth, and people who abuse meth often feel this need to perform repetitive tasks such as cleaning or otherwise manipulating things, hence the slang term "tweaking". From the sounds of it, Adderall causes you to "tweak", so it's probably not good for you to be taking it.

Not that we should be playing doctors either but..
I do often worry about how overmedicated people are nowadays. In most countries too, as far as i know. Sometimes it's necessary for a person to take medicine, but often there are other ways to solve a problem (healthier living seemed to solve a lot of mine). And i don't think being medicated for life is a good way to go

Just wanted to put that there, but everyone knows themselves best

Do you legitimately not have enough to do that interests you? I definitely get that "I want to do ALL THE THINGS and the restlessness is driving me crazy" feeling from stimulants occasionally, but I'm nearly house-bound at the moment with very little to do. With or without stimulants, the boredom drives me crazy. With them, the boredom is harder to handle at times, but I can focus enough to make progress in getting the heck out of this situation. Without them, I don't have the energy to and end up wallowing in less restless but more frequent boredom that often turns to depression.

Do you know from experience that it wouldn't help in a classroom setting, or are you guessing? The times when I get the most restless and jittery are the times I wish the strongest that I could go back to school right now instead of the more realistic timeline of within the year or so. If I had that to occupy my mind, I'm certain the jitteriness would go away, but it could be different for you.

It sounds like you're stuck in a stressful situation. I'm not sure if you can really know whether you have ADHD or not unless you have adequate opportunities to do things that engage your mind and interests.