Aspies nightmare argh!

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Not so long ago I stayed at my boyfriends for the Saturday and Sunday, Saturday went fine...but Sunday did not go well at all. My b/f took me to a city near him so we could meet his friend and then after go and watch a movie. I thought it was all gonna be ok, but it went from good..to worse. We met his friend and went into this cafe, it was aful there were loads of people in there and 2 people were working in there. My b/f asked for some food and I could feel myself get dizzy just seeing these women making food and seeing people eating and blabbing on. I gripped my b/f's hand tight and felt myself panic..I said to him that I have this little timer when being in citys and that it has run out, I don't think he could hear me beacuse of all the people talking. I suddenly felt sick and everyones voices began to fade my body screamed and me and told me to get out. So I told him and his friend that I had to go outside. I went outside and sat down in front of the cafe I put my head in my hands and just sat there. I wanted to scream for help but I knew nobody understood when my b/f and his friend came out and sat next to me with food I felt a bit better. After that we said goodbye to his friend and went to watch a movie I felt so crap and tense. That I couldn't go to the bathroom in the cinema toilets. After the film I was glad to get out we went back home on the metro, but when we went on the metro it was packed and we had to stand up. I stood with my b/f next to the doors..I could see everything wizz past I was so tempted to ask someone for a mobile. I said to my b/f on the metro that I suffered from panic attacks and he suddenly realised I was going to faint or something. My body got to stressed and so ill that I just ran off at the next stop my b/f stood next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I just threw up on the pavement with shock. Luckly it wasnt far from his house were we'd stopped so we got his parents to pick us up. I was sick again 3 times in his bathroom when we got back, on the way home with my parents I was shaking and still suffering from shock.

I recovered from it in the end but now I have a fear of citys and metro's

That's horrible.

Ah yes, that is very familiar, though it only made me throw up occasionally. I started getting panic attacks when I moved in with my ex. I had no idea what they were at first and thought I was dying. At my worst, I was having them one after another with little let up, day, and sometimes night. I had to force myself to do the things that set them off worse in the end. Crowds and boats were always a big no, no, especially difficult since I had to get a boat to university each day. I can sympathise, I think I would have ended up crawling the walls in your situation. It is harder still when the people you are with do not know of your problems.

I loved your description of the people handling food while everyone blabbed. I hate that too! I'm surprised you didn't faint. I always do if I'm in a place like that. I just won't go into them any longer. People that want to see me know better. Mine is just flat out claustrophobia. I can't stand to be crowded in like that. Yuck.

What a terrible time you had! I hardly go out at all, because of those kinds of experiences. I hope that all of us can figure out ways to cope, and to know that we have a *right* to make ourselves comfortable in public situations.

I hope you're doing self-soothings, whatever yours are.

I think you pushed yourself too far - I wouldn't have gone to the movies afterwards.... I would have gone crazy..

I remmember when I was about 5 when I was at a ver very big barbeque - whoa did I flip. I ended up running away - stragnly enough no-one lookied for me. (Now that I think about it maybe one of the adults saw where I had run to and informed my parents)

To this day.... nightclubs are a no no, pubs are ok as long as they aren't full.... and I won't do a 'dual'or even triple event... ie I won't start off at one place then go to another to just torture myself twice in the one day. - actually I don't like going anywhere without at least a weeks (prefereably 2 months) break between events.

I understand how you felt. Monday I had some sinus problem, and the constant pain throughout the day (went to work, which was a mistake) put me into overload. I don't mind going out, but I like to do it when there aren't crowds, like going to a restaurant in the mid afternoon. I always thought I had some weird hearing problem because I can't hear in a crowded restaurant, now I know it's pushing me too far.