Bullyism

Post Reply New Topic

I don't know if Bullyism is a word, but I'm wondering if there is anyone else on here that gets proned to bullyism a lot?

I'm socially awkward, and for the past fw years, I get bulied all the time, especially online. Anywheres I went. Even support groups. I was like, I thought to myself, that I am the only one who gets bullied that much. I also get a lot of bad luck, and feel that I am cursed, becuase I would get am unbelievable amount of bad luck.

When I'm around people, I can often sense their energy, whether they are genuine or not, what their intention is, etc. It's like al the bullies wherever I went, could sense me, my disabilities, and weakness. They would twist my words around, and say things that I didn't say. I thought it was just my poor communication skills, not getting the message across.

There is a group on Facebook, called wrong planet. I thought it was related to this website, and I was like OK, cool. I'll join the group. I could sense something wasn't right. They pretented to be my friend, and end up attacking me, over stupid things. I would express my opinion about something, they would just say how stupid I am, feed me stuff, and see how I'd react to it, and they had their laughs. They seen I was a fool, and took advantage of it. They would lead me into discussions, and I talk about things with them, and there would always be something. I left the group.

When I think about the bullies online, and they would start things, and I'd correct them, and they would and say that I'm wrong. I think they would do it deliverately, just to get me going, becuase they enjoyed it. Whenever I express an opinion about something, they would pick it part, and see everything they could see, all the errors and rain hell on me. I had that in a forums as well, and its been awhile since I've joined a forums, for that reason. I used to drift from one to another.

For some reason, I always seem to be a favorite for bad people, and I don't know why. I also feel that people gget bad vibes from me, maybe they can sense my energy, and sense that I am awkward or something. But for the first time in quite awhile, I've talked to a girl last Thursday and had just good energy from her, so spoke to me, and I didn't feel awkward at all. It was really nice. People like her are rare.

When I think about the bullies online, I would picture in my head, them taking my arms and spinning me round and round and round becuase how things would go in circles and not go anywhere, same thing.

The only forum I ever can say I got bullied on was the myspace forums but I don't think those even exist anymore, well I guess also me and a couple people there went to another site and some people from there like followed us there and where still starting crap....but aside from that aside from sometimes getting in arguments with people and feeling offended, probably offending others at times not really sure any other online experiences qualify as bullying. I guess it also depends on how it makes me feel like I don't see talking crap as the same thing as bullying......since the first one doesn't do anything except make me think that person is immature and how stupid they are acting.

IRL though I suffered through a lot of that crap throughout going to public school, that was certainly much worse than my experience with the myspace forums though I don't think that helped and I probably should have quit going to those forums much sooner instead of thinking I could get them to quit harassing me so I could post without drama....but whatever.

In my opinion online bullying is easier to deal with. You don't physically see them or you don't even know who they really are. You can simply choose to ignore them. If there are decent moderators on the forum, those that persistently try to offend will be banned. You can choose not to participate in a forum that allow trolls to thrive.

IRL it's a different story. You can't choose not to go to work/school, because there will be some unpleasant consequences if you don't go to work/school. So you have no choice but to deal with them, although you really shouldn't have to. It's shocking how hypocritical many people are about bullying and other issues. Most people actually agree that bullying is wrong, but they actually participate in bullying. Their words and actions are contradicting. That's where the problem is. Many people think what they are doing is not bullying and is ok. Many people seem to think that when someone is different/weird, it's ok to exclude/be unkind to/talk badly of him or her because a weird person is a "lesser" person. When more people join in the bullying of someone, it seems as if it were justified. People with ASD tend to have this "weird" quality, which attract bullies. Even if you don't do anything wrong, if you show some weakness, then bullies will pounce on you. The sad thing is that many people seem to falsely think that being bullied is itself a bad quality that you have. That is often used to justify bullying.

I've been bullied all my life. Middle school was probably the worst. I would sometimes stay after school to hang out with the janitor (who was really nice and also a skilled ping-pong player) or with one of the two teachers I had that I felt understood me. My social life started to turn around after a short, obese kid from my PE class (after months of constant harassment) said he was going to physically beat me up if I stayed after school. I went home and told my dad about it and he told me that the best way to shut him up was to stay after school and kick his ass. Taking my dad's advice, I stayed after school and walked around looking for him. I finally found him waiting for the "late bus". As soon as he saw me approaching him, he literally ran away. While hitting puberty early did make me the subject of much ridicule, it also meant that I was at least a head taller than my peers at that point in my life.

That's when it occured to me that I could avoid a lot of problems by "puffing myself up", trying to be intimidating without being aggressive. I found that in trying to lose my harmless, nerdy image I opened myself up for a lot of false reports. Typically, when a students said that I was doing something I wasn't supposed to, it wasn't taken seriously. However, the public school system doesn't need evidence to punish someone for something. There was one girl that went around telling people that she heard me "plotting" to "assassinate" a mentally handicapped student. The closest thing to evidence that they had was footage of me talking with another student on the bus. They didn't have audio, just very low resolution video. When they asked what I was talking about, I replied with something along the lines of "I don't remember what I was talking about that day. That was like a month ago." That was taken as proof of my guilt. I was told that the student's family and the police were notified. Nothing happened with the police though since they usually need some form of evidence.

After a number of incedents along those general lines, I decided to take the exact opposite approach. I was going to play to my strengths and look completely and utterly helpless. Ironically, that worked much better. It took a while for me to change my image (thankfully, I changed schools a few times in middle school), but after a certain point I could be confident that staff would always intervene when someone did something to me. Not only that, but I got away with a lot of crap most students wouldn't have because the staff didn't feel like doing anything to me. Eventually students stopped messing with me because I stuck close to staff members, meaning that there was no way it would go unnoticed. That's how I learned that there's a time to show up in combat boots, BDU pants and a Rammstien t-shirt and speak as little as possible, but also a time to wear argyle and talk about Cory Doctorow.

I'm still working on determining what image is suitable for what settings, but I suppose nobody ever has these things completely figured out. I still get bullied though and I'm not expecting it to stop at any point (though I hope it won't be so severe in the future).

I'm also in the transition of changin my image. I am a little chubby now, but I am working on losing weight and getting fit.

I have problem with girls looking at me, I find a lot of the skinny girls look at me funny, like I woud look and try to get the courage to smile, but she would give me a look, you know the look of annoyance, or bad look as if you've done something. I get it all the time. I come to the conclusions that it's becuase they're skinny and they don't like fat people and they're disgusted by it. I never did anything, but it hurts. I assume that they are bullies/mean. I don't understand it. I feel like they are judging me for a creep, that just becuase I'm looking at them, they probably think I'm some creep, who is waiting to hit on them or something.

One time, I did something stupid, but I didn't know any better. I commented on picture on someones Facebook, nothing bad, but since she didn't know me, she started bullying me, calling me a creep and told me to "go ot hell". I was very upset by this and tried to explain myself. It's comments got worse.

It blocked me, so I had another Facebook account, my old one, so I used that to try and explain myself, why I did, and tht I wasn't a creep. It's funny how people jump to conclusions, on a little bit on information.

It's like a guy who openly admits that he likes the color pink, and some close minded person assumed that he was gay and based on him for beng gay, even though he wasn't.

Girls aren't the only one who gives me weird looks, I just get most of them from girls.

A couple weeks ago, I was in Canadian Tire, buying a reel mower, and this older guy in his 40/50's, was looking at me funny. I kept looking back at him, wondering why he was looking at me like that. It really bothered me.

I had to deliver a package to a book store, as part of my work. When I got there and sat the box down n the counter and waited for someone to come over, this couple, older couple (customers) were just starring at me.
I feel that people judge people by what their look like, gender, race, age, etc. I feel I act differently that what people judge me by. Maybe that is why I get the odd looks. I can sense that these people (girls especially) are very uncomfortable around me, and maybe they're judging me for some creep or something. Me looking for a girlfriend, trying to find someone genuine, it shoots down my hopes when I keep seeing that everywhere.

A "met" a girl last Thursday who was very nice, and didn't make me feel awkward at all. I think I mentioned that before.
I got a positive vibe from her and my awkwardness sort of went a way. It was nice. I never had that before, at least not in a very long time. If only I could meet people like that all of the time.

Sometimes I will run into someone who is a jerk or who will single me out. There are some bad places online I have avoided like Babycenter and tons of women got bullied on there by others and I felt one member was harassing me on one forum by posting rude rude responses to me.

In real life I don't get bullied anymore or harassed. People have their own lives so why would they want to spend it picking on someone? Plus harassment is against the law. Plus their jobs are more important than to get fired so it shocks me how immature adults can still be when I hear about bullying going on in adulthood. And it depends on how you define bullying. I don't want to mistake ignorance for bullying or rudeness or having a bad day and not apologizing for their behavior from that day as bullying. Online it will happen because people are behind the screen and don't take the internet seriously and it's easier to ignore so they will say things they wouldn't normally say in real life and just do things and not care they wouldn't do in real life.

I was bullied moderately to severely all through my school years. I haven't been bullied since I graduated high school, fortunately. If people try to bully me online, I just give a retort, and we move from there.

It's sad and disgusting when people get bullied. I was blamed a couple of times for being bullied--one time, my mother actually believed the bully! The incident was: When I was in 7th grade, this kid kept on following me around calling me "ret*d." Then, he would hold out his hand so I could shake it, or give him "five." Instead, I squeezed his fingers to the point where I tore some ligaments. I told my mother the story; she didn't believe me. Instead, I was punished because they had to pay the kid's family the cost of treatment.

The way I dealt with the bullying was to just withdraw into my world of books. I had virtually no friends from 6th grade to 12th grade. I just decided to just "exist"--I knew adulthood would come, and I'll be able to stand on my two feet. By and large, albeit with some mistakes, I've managed to do just that.

I was bullied and traumatized a lot at school when I was a kid, a little less as a teen. I have been bullied some at work and a little from neighbors. Now I don't get bullied very often, but I am mostly disliked by people and many people don't help me or be nice to me like they do with others who aren't "different". I sometimes feel unsafe because of gang bangers and queer haters, they threaten me from time to time.