ANGER

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Does anyone feel that they contain a well of anger? If so, is the anger general or directed? Is the anger of a type that you may be able to resolve?

Already posted about this a lot myself. If there is something out of my control, like workmen next door banging repetitively when I am trying to sleep, I will have a complete eruption, involving shouting at the top of my voice til I am hoarse, sobbing, banging walls and breaking things. I never realised that adults with aspergers/autism continued to have meltdowns and can find no reference to them on google so it is somewhat embarrassing I become this way. I get a lot of anger. Small things will anger me very much, like my internet connection slowing down or losing something etc.

I was a lot easier to anger before school. School and Tulsa has put me through the mill, and I've been a little fried for most of the last 15 months. I just don't have the energy to care anymore, for most things.

I don't want to talk about it, dammit.

I have a very real problem with anger, so much so that I've basically isolated myself from having to deal with other people. (Which is easy, given my occupation as a rural mail carrier. I don't have to interact with people all that much.)

My problem is that I tend to hold things in and let them "stew", and afterward, the slightest thing will set me off and cause me to blow. And when that happens, well, I think it's safe to say that I have a very explosive temper. I don't get violent or hit things, but I do an awful lot of yelling and cursing. This is one thing that I absolutely hate about myself, because when it happens, I tend to go off the edge and nothing or no one can bring me back down once I've erupted.

I can't really talk to anyone about it, because, quite frankly, I don't know how to talk to anyone about it. Thank God, however, that it doesn't happen all that often. And, when it does, the only harm I cause to other people is in the form of words.

Today just happened to provide me with a prime example:

I bought a used Nissan from a fellow in Florida. It was used, so I knew I wasn't getting a trailer queen automobile. However, when he delivered it to me, he told me that he'd discovered a problem while driving it to me, and that when he got back home, he'd paypal me the money to have it repaired (about $300). Well, a month and a half later, and no money. I've repeatedly called and emailed him about it, and today, he said "Sue me. Take me to court."

I wouldn't have even expected him to repair it. After all, it's a used car. However, he did give me his word, and when someone does that, I expect them to live up to their promise.

Well, when he said that, I went ballistic. Not on him either.

My wife said something that set me off even more, so I went off on her. Not a hellraising cussing tirade, but I let my anger be made known nonetheless. Let me just be honest here: I was a jerk.

After we smoothed things over and I apologized to her for my actions, I was able to share with her how I honestly felt. I told her that we've been married for almost 17 years, and she knows me well enough to know when I'm off the deep end, as I was today. I don't expect her to be the subject of my verbal tirades, but she admitted recognizing the signs that I was over the edge, and that her first instinct was to just leave me alone until the storm had passed, so she apologized for pushing me further into the abyss.

I just wish I wasn't like this; that there were somewhere or someone out there who understood my predicament well enough to know how to help me not be like this. But,my problem is that I'm essentially socially ret*d, and can't even carry on a conversation with anyone other than my wife. Writing in a forum is one thing. I can express myself very well in word, but when it comes to speaking to another person, I lock up, like some invisible barrier goes up, and I lack the knowledge or understanding as to how to overcome this.

Sorry for getting too personal here, but I had to get this off my chest, and this thread offered me that chance. Thanks.

-Scott

I am the postal type - yet I have never gone postal --- you may see me on cnn in a couple years!! !! !


-it's good to get angry and let it out - you lucky buggers can go on the next day and have gorgotten about it - I only forget whe i well and truly actually forget.

There are people out there who are taking my world apart little bit by little bit. They lie to each other and build paranoid little ideas out of hatred and ignorance, and justify to themselves the destruction of the various species that I want to care for, and they will use force of arms to prevent me from doing this. Yes I am angry.

Anger is one of the things I struggle with the most. I was a massively violent child and adolescent, fortunately those tendencies have largely subsided. I tend to seethe over small things, such as traffic, excess noise, waiting in queue's etc. but these days I am more likely to bottle the anger than explode like I would as a teenager. When I do properly lose my temper these days, it tends to be of biblical proportions and scary for loved ones around me. The last time this happened I exploded, screaming, and punched a brick wall and broke three knuckles. Not good. I am sometimes worried that one day I will really hurt someone.

i have problems with saying extremely mean things when pressed in an argument... is why i try to just back out of them all together.

Sometimes this primordial rage will well up within me which is very uncharacteristic of me! I am pretty good at containing it-- being a mom for 10 years has really mellowed me, and if I do snap the anger usually ends up being self directed. I've never hit my kids and I haven't thrown anything for years and years, but I do occasionally feel this shocking and powerful anger-- the strength of it always takes me by surprise.

I find that I feel general anger towards society in general. Society has screwed me over, so many times that I just want to live my own life, and do my own thing.

Um in school I get angry a lot because the bells ringing hurts my ears, I have an equilibrium problem, so if i'm close to a loud noise i lose my balance. Right now i'm practicing on raising my hand and asking for hellp, but I usually just stare at the teacher until she notices, but sometimes she never does so I get really mad. My math teacher doesn't like my rituals (like I have to have my books in a certain order) so I get mad then, and he always give us too much work and if I don't finish my assignment before the bell rings I feel really bad.

My psychiatrist gave me something called an emotion thermometer. There's 8 thermometeres. The lowest is 0, which is completely fine, and hte highest is 7 which means really angry. On each thermometer the bar raises, and certain thermometeres have a tip to calm yourself. Like on 2 it's count to 10 and take deep breaths, on 3 it's talk to teacher, and on 5 it's ask to go to a quiet spot/away from whatever is aggravating you.