Does your family talk about you like you're not there?

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Some relatives have been visiting from out of town. They kept talking about me like I was not even there, while I was in the same room, right in front of them. They were asking my mother questions about me, and she was answering them too, instead of letting me talk for myself. They used to do this s**t all the time while I was growing up and I just took it for granted that adults always talk about children like they're not there. But now I am 36 years old, and this is just some crazy s**t to be treated this way. It made me feel like I don't exist.

Yes, and the situation becomes exponentially worse when I try to comment and they ignore me as if they could not hear me, when I know that they definitely can.

Only when I grew up.
I wonder why people don´t see, that kids need to be treated with normal respect, if "we" want them to grow up to be adults, who can respect others.

It's not just the fact that they would talk about kids like they're not there, this particular couple would talk about their own kids like that too. But they would talk about their own kids in a bragging way, like they were superior, while they would just talk about me like I was weird. And no one else talked about me in a really positive way to counteract that, I mean my parents or grandparents could have stood up for me but they didn't. I was talked about like I was strange and weird, and not acceptable.

Today the nasty relatives were gone, but the others took off without me to go have lunch so I arrived at an empty house not even knowing where they were. And they claimed they didn't know I was coming, but that's not true, they did, and it seems like they do this s**t on purpose to snub me.

I ended up having a huge meltdown, and now I can't sleep, and I just feel like I am doomed to be treated this way forever. Because one way or another pretty much everyone I know ends up ignoring me, or disregarding me or outright shunning me at some point. What is the point in being around other people at all if they just treat me like I don't exist?

It´s easy to say:"Find some others to socialize with", - but you may have to work on your self-respect. If that isn´t good, you may communicate it in subtle ways, and people treat you like dirt.
I´ve been there, - being talked about and placed at the kids table at dinners - as a young adult!
My nonverbal signals did that!

All the time. If the do ever acknowledge me they talk to me like I am a child, I am 48. So much so I haven't really spoken to them for the last two years.

My parents act like I cannot hear them, but to my siblings, they never do that. It makes me mad.

I'd f**k them all off if I was you.

f*****g ignorant bastards!

???

Last edited by Aspinator on 24 Aug 2014, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, that one is probably the best! I frequently remind myself of it.

I have encountered this too, less so with family, but more so with healthcare workers. I constantly tend to be treated like a child, (I am in my late 20s.) They most times will explain things to me, like I am 10 years old, and it is very frustrating sometimes. I just want to yell at them, I AM A GROWN A** MAN.

Has anyone else had this happen?

I kind of wish they did, because what they do really is talk to each other like I'm not there, and I have to interject if I really want to talk.

It's sad that your parents and grandparents do that to you. Do they really care about you? It seems to me that they don't. If they are like that, you might as well not worry about them. Every person deserves respect. Even if you are "weird", it only means that they don't understand you. If they cannot recognize that, they have a problem. You don't need their approval. Just disregard them and spend time with other people.

It doesn't happen to me because if anyone does that to me, I won't keep quiet. People are kind of scared of me in that sense. People do a lot of bitching about me behind my back but never to my face. They are cowards.

I don't have a problem like that with my family. They are good people.

every parent, to some extent, talks about their kids like they are so much prettier/more handsome, more talented and smarter than all the other kids around. every parent compares their kids to others, "Can your children read yet? Mine are already reading full sentences!" it's nothing new. what ever happened to modesty?

but anyway, i'm really sorry they do that to you. do they honestly not know you're an adult? just be direct with them. tell then you want them to treat you with respect, like the grown adult you are (not that younger people don't deserve to be acknowledged too.)
it that doesn't work, then forget about them. they're not worth all your effort.

my parents often talk to me like i'm not here either. my dad puts words in my mouth just when i'm about to speak (not like that matters), my mom sometimes talks about me and forgets i'm there when she gets upset.

it really gets f*****g sickening.

it happens to me, but i kinda like it. it's useful because i really hate repeating myself and if we have guests (rarely, which is good)
then i will have to take time talking to them about boring things over and over because this is what normal people do.
therefore i can stay in my head while normal people talk about normal boring things which i think is a win win scenario
because adults must enjoy boring talk since they do it so often. i also like feeling like an ethereal being watching other people's
lives and when people talk about me like i'm not there it helps. mum and dad do it when we're switching houses and they talk
about what i've done and how i am doing and what i need to do.

They do care about me, but yeah sometimes it really seems like they don't.

I told them all off about leaving me behind the other day. I think it was partly just a misunderstanding, but it wouldn't have killed someone to pick up the phone and let me know where they were going.

Things like that have happened before and it really comes down to my mom not communicating things. Like if I make plans with her, and then someone else asks her to do something she will just go along with them and not even tell me anything about it.

And when we have a family get together I let my mom know when I'm coming but she doesn't tell the others. So they might all just take off and go somewhere and she doesn't think to tell them that I'm on my way. Or maybe this is just her sly way of ditching me. And none of it would be a problem if the other family members communicated with me directly, but they don't.

Yeah my mother cares about me, but she can be a real b***h sometimes and she does some really passive aggressive s**t that makes me mad as hell. And then that makes me look like I'm overreacting while she gets to play innocent. And knowing that she's willing to talk about me in front of me like I'm not even there, I really wonder what she says behind my back. I'm starting to feel like I can't trust her at all anymore.