Digging Deep and Baring My Soul

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So, my employer has agreed to pay for my diagnostics with an autism specialist.
I am super stoked. But I am a little apprehensive as well. I understand that a lot of questions will be asked,
many pertaining to my childhood. I have very little memory of childhood.
Last weekend, I hatched a plan. I posted to the closed Facebook page of my graduating class.

I told them exactly what my situation was and how I really needed answers. I explained that I couldn't remember
and asked them to give me brutally honest feedback about how I came across as a classmate, what they remembered
about me and what kind of interactions we had. I actually asked all kinds of questions: Did I walk funny? Did I say weird things? Did I smell bad or forget to comb my hair? I literally just typed everything that popped into my head, whether it seemed
related to autism or not. This was to a group of nearly 200 people. Now, I didn't get a lot of responses, but just about everyone who did commented on how courageous or brave that they felt I was. I didn't get a lot of responses that sparked a yes or no answer in my mind, except that I was told repeatedly that I didn't make much eye contact. So, that's kind of validation. I actually don't see what I did as all that brave. I moved several states away from home just a few years after highschool and I rarely go back. When I do, I don't see friends, I see my family. I'll be lucky if I see one of these people again in the remainder of my life. So, no- it doesn't seem that brave. But I thought that it might give me answers.

I know that the people I really need to do this with are my Mom and brother. But I wanted to get a feel for how it might go and I'm afraid with family, I'll get something along the lines of "my little baby/brother was just perfect" Or, maybe a "what kind of drugs are you on?"

Does anybody have feedback or suggestions on how I should go about mining data from my childhood and hope to get an objective answer? Should I give them specific questions related to autism or should I just ask for general impressions? I feel like maybe I need to break it down, like... executive function means yada yada yada and affects such and such and such... can you remember a time when I seemed to have a problem with these issues? I really need to get a firm grasp on what all the issues with autism are, so I can get this ball rolling. I don't want this opportunity to be diagnosed to slip away. I'm not sure why it would, but I hate to risk it.

As an aside, I got 5 or 6 new friend requests with an hour of posting. So, maybe honesty is a good policy. A lot of them shared stories of family members with autism, so that was kind of nice too. Now, I'm in my 40's, so my classmates generally have a certain level of maturity. If you graduated 5 to 10 years ago, this may not be the approach for you.

Do you still have any report cards? Back then the teachers actually wrote real comments, unlike the template version used today. Mine said things like: quiet, lacks confidence, reluctant to participate in group work, needs encouragement to join in with peers. Only I can't find my reports now I need them! I too can't remember much of my childhood before the age of 12.
Good luck.

Hey Thanks Raleigh! That's a great thought! I'm sure I have them, though it may take a month to find them.

So, do you think documentation will actually be required or will the doctor take my word for stuff?

Anybody else with ideas?

I think, Raleighs suggestion is exellent.
Apart from that, you could concentrate on a general description of child hood memories and statements about you, that you remember.
THEN you can look at it again with "ASD-glasses" and write whatever you may find, that could point to that direction, - now, that the purpose is evaluation.

i'm not sure that an AS evaluation is the kind of test that you should, or ever try to, cram for. it could possibly even skew the results (not saying it will, just it could)

Old report cards are a great idea. I laugh when I go through mine. My first grade report card says I am "the only student in the history of the school to graduate first grade without ever speaking to another student or teacher." and I "did a good job reading out loud quietly to myself."

Apparently they saw no problem with this as I received no special education. Well, I did spend half the day in the library helping the librarian. I guess that was special education back when I was school.

The last thing I want to do is skew the results. But I read a blogger online who made a convincing argument that you DO need to prepare for the evaluation. If you are not great at verbal communication- I am not. If you have a poor memory- I do. If "tests" make you nervous- They do. If you get nervous just meeting someone you don't know well- I do. If these things apply, you can't just waltz in there and expect all of the relevant answers to just flow out of your mouth like an extroverted NT with super sharp cognitive abilities. I plan to take a written introduction of myself with some specific examples from my life that relate to autism. I will feel much more comfortable this way and it will RIGHTFULLY give insight into the problems I have with verbal communication. I think I have the major things covered...Eye contact...Executive Function... I guess where I really lack is in understanding the characteristics of children with autism and, of course, remembering what I was really like as a child.

1.You should tell the examiner about your worries.
2. You don´t have to remember HOW you were as a small kid. The years will have distorted much of it anyway. It would be a lot more helpful, if you can remember how you felt about things as far back as you remember. Don´t expect to remember much from before three with any clarity.

What did you like to do?
What were your joys? Any interests?
What didn´t you like to do?
What were your worries?
Any anxieties?

Do you remember any special situations between you and your parents?
Between you and your siblings?

Do you remember remarks about you as a kid?