Emotionally Handicapped and Accepting Bad Behaviour

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Is it right to accept somebodies bad behaviour because they don?t understand what they are doing? Should you be angry at a sociopath because he doesn?t experience empathy? Should you refuse to accept someone solely because they have a mental illness and think people are trying to kill them? If somebody does something hurtful, do you really have the right to accept that behaviour simply because they don?t understand what they did wrong?

I don?t know the answer.

Because the truth is, that person?s behaviour is still hurtful. But somebody with Bipolar, who won?t talk to you because they?re depressed, can be hurtful too, but you can understand. It gets very complicated with the autistic spectrum. Because people on the spectrum can learn empathy, but that doesn?t mean they will. Or that they?ll do it at a time that is right for you. You wouldn't smack your three year old because he couldn?t read without being taught anything. That?s why we train people. And I'm talking about normal encounters here, no physical assault or verbal abuse, primarily disregard for peoples feelings.

In the autistic mind, is a video camera. The whole time it?s filming, and then going over it again and again later, watching, learning. If they?ve been in an experience like that, then it?s easy. They?ve been there; they know what it?s like literally. But if they haven?t?.and nobody has taught them, is it fair to be angry at their behaviour? Because essentially these people on the spectrum, until they learn or are taught, are emotionally handicapped. And we don?t begrudge handicapped people for things they truly cannot do.

I truly don?t know.

Being completely incapable of learning something for future reference is generally something I consider unacceptable.

While I do think it is understandable if a person does not know any better, they still need to be made aware/told their behavior is unacceptable.

But when I say that people do need to be taught right from wrong, it will not help if they are criticized/attacked for their bad behavior.

They need to be taught, guided and directed.

For example, an Aspie might be yelling rudely in class without realizing it is wrong. A warning from the teacher would be fine, such as "Tommy, can you please stop yelling out loudly. Some people in the class are trying to listen and would like to learn but can not because you are being too noisy for them, if you start yelling again I may have to speak with you at lunch time about your behavior" is fine.

But punishing would be a bit too far.

See it really depends on context/situation but generally yes I do think we need to learn from our mistakes, other people just need to make it clear when someone has made a mistake.

Thank you, that's actually just what I needed to hear. I think I wanted a quick and easy reason to ignore somebodies treatment of me, but now I see I have to talk to them and deal with this problem head-on.