What should I do?

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Okay, here's the rundown of the little situation I'm in.

I made plans with a close friend to go to Longview for a beach/coastal town thing, since I finally got a couple days off from work. We are both really looking forward to it, and we've only hung out once since he moved back here from Georgia.

The problem is, there's also a family trip scheduled on the same day.

But here's the thing about the family trip - I only found out about this tonight. My family has been planning it for a couple of weeks now, but I wasn't aware of it because they never tell me anything. I always tell them if I make plans or not.

So I told them about what I had planned for Sunday so they would know where I was going, but they literally drop that bomb on me after I get done saying how excited I was to be hanging out with my friend in one of my favorite places in the PNW. They pretty much just told me; "if you don't wanna go, you don't have to. But the entire family is going, including your cousin you never see anymore because your uncle died of cancer."

They say I don't have to go, but it feels more like a guilt trip than a choice to me. Don't get me wrong I do love my family, but I'm a little bit hurt that they never told me.

So any opinions on what I should choose? Hang out with friend on the beach, or let the guilt-trip work and go visit family?

If it were me, and seeing as it's a "close friend" as you put it, I wouldn't drop my plans to go with my friend.

You're really excited to spend time with your friend and you don't see him often and those plans were made first.

I'm one of those Aspies who hates changing plans once they're made or having someone change plans on me, so no way would I go back on them now.

Maybe next time your family will let you in on their plans sooner! Not your fault they didn't clue you in till too late!

But of course this is just me - nobody can tell you what to do

My parents pull that crap on me all the time. Follow your heart. Will you feel more guilt if you don't go with your family? Or more regret if you miss out on seeing your friend? You also need to weigh potential repercussions. Will canceling on your friend damage your friendship? Will your parents continue to guilt-trip you if you don't go with them, requiring you to earn brownie points to get back on their good side? Hope this helps.

I'd see your close friend. That's the first plan you made, as far as you are concerned. And your family know that you made that plan because you thought there was nothing planned for that day. They should have told you about that family trip earlier. They can't blame you for not going with them. Also guilt is not a good reason for doing things, especially when you shouldn't be feeling guilty.

If you feel bad about not having seen that cousin much since your uncle's death, then you should probably plan to go and see him/her some other time.

I'd go with what some others have said, go and meet your friend and if the matter is brought up again clearly state you need more advanced notice of family events you are expected to attend.
Speak to your cousin later in the week explaining you couldn't drop previously made plans at such short notice but you're willing to see them some other time.

Thanks everyone.

I ended up just rescheduling hanging out with my friend for today, and we're going to go to Longview on Monday instead. He agreed that what my family did wasn't right though, and I let them know that I wasn't happy with them about it.

On the bright side, now I'm the proud owner of a new compound bow.