Does this sound like aspergers?

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I'm 30 years old but I'm not sure I have Aspergers or not so I decided to come here and ask, it's a long read, I will tell you but I could sure use someone's help:

Ok, here's my issues: Elementary school - When I was in elementary school, I was the kid always afraid to raise her hand to speak publicly in front of other kids to the teacher, I was afraid period to speak publicly in class. During recess, while other kids were playing with each other, I was somewhere on the playground (specifically the swings), by myself, mentally amusing myself humorously. I was even afraid to talk to the teacher one on one. I had zero friends in elementary school, because I had no idea of how to make friendships and the fact of trying to attempt making friendships scared me (because of my fear of rejection). During school activities, such as dances, I was the one on the bleachers by myself, watching everyone dance with others or be in a group with others talking because I was too afraid of going and talking with the other kids, nor did I know how to.

High school - In high school, the same thing applied from elementary school. During lunch, when other high schoolers were in the club room playing pool or basketball or just hanging out, I was in the computer room - alone, because the thought of being around them was about as nerve wrecking as anything and I'd had rather wished to be alone, so I was - alone in the computer room with just the computer, myself and my walkman. The same thing that occurred during elementary activities and dances to me, occurred at high school activities and dances with me.

adult life - During my adult life now, I still have no friends because again, I don't know how to make friends and the attempt at trying scares me because of rejection, so I remain by myself. If I'm in a room with a group of people, I stay in a corner of the room with my mp3 player, looking out a window or whatever, not talking to anyone, because talking with people gets me extremely nervous, my mind goes blank and I have zero idea what to say during conversations with people in groups. Also, a lot of times, someone will say something sarcastic and I won't get that he's being sarcastic. Or someone will say "hey, how are you?" or "tell me about yourself" and I'll think they actually are asking how I am out of concern or that they actually want me to tell them about myself, not realizing they didn't really want me to tell them how I was or about myself at all.

Also, I have a tendency to be cynical about a lot of things, about guys being interested in me, I'm cynical when it comes to trying to attempt to make friends (which is also why I'm afraid now of trying to attempt to make friends). I also have a problem starting up conversations with people. I can see a guy I like on a train and I will rely on him picking up on my eye contact, rather than going to him and initiating conversation. The same goes with trying to start up conversation with people in general. I also do feel weird about looking people straight in the eye and having others look me directly in the eye. It makes me feel - weird when I do it and when it happens to me. I am very shy to top it off but online, my shyness goes out the window, offline however - it's a different story.

Another example is some people can be talking about television and then I'll mention how I like The Walking Dead, someone can agree and then I'll go on this long talk (or friendly rant) about the characters of the show, the seasons, my dislikes and likes of the show and I'll just go on and on about it and it'll leave people like "ok, ok, we get you like the show, you know about it." but I don't get that me going on and on about it is getting tiring or annoying to them. The same goes for any topic that's a favorite for me, I can go on and on and on talking about the subject, not realizing that can be annoying and tiring and if people state that, that's annoying and tiring to me, I get quickly and easily hurt because of them stating so. I do have an obsessive interest in things like The Walking Dead, certain movies, shows, in subjects like science, chemistry and biology and history. I'm not clumsy or awkward though nor do I have repetitive behaviors like finger twisting or anything though.

So with all that, I'm not sure if I have Aspergers or not but I thought I'd come here and find out, does what I have described sound like Aspergers?

A.Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

(1) marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction
(2) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
(3) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
(4) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

B.Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

(1) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
(2) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
(3) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
(4) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

C.The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.


Sounds like social anxiety and I'm not entirely sure if there are AS traits involved. Social skills are tools and you're bound to have some troubles, if you're on the spectrum or otherwise, if you go extended periods without utilizing them. Especially if there is an anxiety component.

I didn't understand anything of what you said....I'm sorry.

It's a portion of the AS diagnostic criteria and I figured it would be easier to give that to you for you to see if you fit it instead of relying on us to give you our opinions

I agree with calstar2 it sounds more like Social Anxiety, some people with ASD develop social anxiety after a while of bullying and hard times of rejection, but since you had it since Elementary school it probably isn't ASD, but im not a Psych,

Do you have the need for Routine, Rituals or Scheduals? without these Scheduals can you function in everyday life or even 'go with the flow?'

do you find yourself preoccupied with obsessions, interests or focuses?

can you read a persons body language or listen to a person and maintain eye contact at the same time?

its also fun to take some ASD tests online, they cannot diagnose you, but as long as you answer them honestly, theyll give you the right idea of how your brain is, heres a link to a quite accurate test: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

I don't have a need for routine or rituals so much, I mean I can function without it. However, I do find myself preoccupied with obsessions with certain TV shows (well one in particular), interests in science, biology and chemistry. I however can not read a person's body language or listen to a person while maintaining eye contact though. I hate keeping eye contact with people and people keeping eye contact with me. I thought I might also suffer from being introverted too though but I wasn't sure....

I took the aspie test and these were the results::

Aspie-quiz
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 125 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 110 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits



So what does that mean?

Uh, I'm going to make this simple.

You got the shy part of aspergers but I'm iffy if you have the aspie hyper focus.

Also, the rituals but I never had that intense of rituals although I did have some weird rigid things.

I'd say an all-encompassing obsessive interest in The Walking Dead among other things would constitute hyper focus. I'm inclined to suspect social anxiety as well though; if you've had little experience dealing with people because you avoid it out of fear, that's going to make learning natural social skills difficult. Do you have sensory problems (sensitivity to light, sound, texture, etc., or a lack of sensitivity to stimuli that other people find intense or bothersome)? Ever have difficulty controlling your emotions and melt down or shut down (temper tantrum or complete social non-responsiveness, respectively)? With the people you're comfortable with (family, etc.) do you readily share your interests and thoughts with them, or does it not occur to you to do so? Do their social behaviours ever confuse you?

Ok, I will look up what Hyper focus is but I don't have sensory problems, well if I do, I don't know it. Some sounds that are done repeatedly do irritate me like hell, sounds that would probably be looked at as normal to others. Like the sound of someone eating, my mom at home, it irritates me hearing wise like hell. The way she drinks her coffee, I don't think she can hear how she drinks it but I can and it bothers the hell out of me when I hear it. As far as with controlling emotions, when I get angry, I get angry and then for about an hour or an hour and a half, I will get quiet on people I'm angry with, then after that hour or an hour and a half, I've forgotten about being angry and back to being fine again with the person I was angry with. I don't share my film, science, chemistry, biology and other - boring historical interests and artistic thoughts with my mom or brother (my only family members) because 1) I know they'll ridicule it and criticize it and 2) because I like sharing it with people whom I feel I can really trust to understand them and accept them. Their social behaviors confuse me? Well no. However I don't know if this counts or not but I can see a couple getting married on TV and they're emotional and everyone is emotional and I'll be looking at the screen and my sisters and brother and mom like "why are they all emotional? That's so dumb, it's not a funeral", and they'll look at me like I'm crazy but I don't understand that emotion. I don't understand emotions where couples are crying and all teary eyed when talking about their SO's. Basically, I saw this website yesterday that listed all the symptoms of Aspergers and I will list in bold all the ones that affects me:

Social interactions
- seems content when left alone

- does not understand social cues and thus might act inappropriately, appearing rude, uncaring, and tactless

- might be able to function in one-to-one interactions but not with multiple people

- has strong sense of loyalty; very loyal to friends

- has strong sense of social justice; tends to defend others and causes

- achieves social success by intellectual analysis rather than intuition -- (I don't know what this means, so.....)

- often has a sense of humor as an adult that is not frequently understood by others, often a very dry sense of humor -- (I don't really know what this means either...What does dry sense of humor means)

- might or might not desire friendships; most seem to desire friendships but the stress involved makes them decide it is not worth it


Child development:

- does not play turn-taking games (I never played them as a kid)

- is more likely to play by him- or herself, or next to other children, than with them

- uses adult's hand as a tool -- (I don't know what this means either)

- does not interact socially with same age group; indifference to peer contacts; difficulties interacting with peers



Verbal communication

- rarely initiates communication; might speak only when discussing favorite subjects (special interests) -- This is a TRIPLE yes for me.

- when trying to participate in conversations, it might seem odd or awkward; does not know how to keep a conversation going - TRIPLE yes for me again.

- understands and uses words literally, resulting in misinterpretations; might not understand idiomatic expressions and metaphors; might not pick up double meanings; might not understand subtle satire and irony; might not understand when exaggeration is being used; is often the last person to understand the point of a joke

- discusses objects and facts, not feelings - sometimes I do but not often because I don't have anyone to usually discuss anything with.

- might sound overly formal or excessively technical; pedantic; includes too much detail

- is more comfortable writing than speaking; more comfortable in situations where body language is not an issue, suchas in the dark or back-to-back

Child development:

- fails to imitate actions or sounds

- might have echolalia - repeats or echoes words and phrases just heard

- might have delayed language acquisition; might have precocious language acquisition



Nonverbal communication

- eye contact is limited/fleeting, staring, or otherwise seems atypical; might make appropriate eye contact when talking
but look away when listening or processing an answer; more likely to look at mouth than eyes

- has atypical body language; does not accurately express intents, thoughts, and feelings via nonverbal language

- might not use gestures; gestures might seem stilted or clumsy; gestures might be exaggerated

Child development:

- has a deficit in joint attention; does not point at object to share interest and does not realize that gaze should be directed where other person is pointing

Relating to surroundings (including change)

- is upset by or resists changes; inflexible; desires predictability; should be warned about changes to environment and routines

- develops rigid routines; prefers to know rules for all situations; seemingly simple activities that are not part of the routine, such as going out to eat, can be extraordinarily stressful

- might be reluctant to enter unknown places or visit friends' homes because of not knowing the "rules" for that place

- has a tendency to collect objects or information / facts

- tends to notice patterns; tends to notice license plates numbers; often notices details that other people do not

- might refuse to eat foods that are touching other foods on the plate

Child development:

- play is repetitive

Responses to sensory stimuli

- usually has sensory integration disorder - unusual perception of sensory input, sensory processing abnormalities

- might be oversensitive to sound, hearing sounds most people do not or panicking at certain sounds, or undersensitive to sound, appearing deaf at times - as I explained above....

- might be oversensitive to sight, preferring dimly lit rooms or certain colors, or undersensitive to sight, desiring lots of colors and interested in flashing lights

- might be oversensitive or undersensitive to taste, preferring either extra spicy or very bland foods, or preferring sourness such as lemon slices --- YES I prefer extra spicy foods. At the carryout, I will ask the cook to put hot peppers in with my shrimp egg foo young and to heavily douse my food with hot sauce.

- might be oversensitive or undersensitive to touch; might become very stressed by light touches, but less stressed by firm ones; might feel calmer in Temple Grandin's "hugging machine"

- might be oversensitive or undersensitive to smell

- might be under or oversensitive to balance (vestibular stimulation); might frequently twirl or might easily become dizzy

- might have proprioceptive dysfunction - insufficient processing of information from muscles and joints so is unaware of where body is in space; might hit, kick, or bang head against objects intentionally to gain awareness of where one's body parts are in space; might watch one's feet or hands to be aware of where they are

- might prefer to wear the same clothing day after day (because of how it feels, as well as preferring the same routines)

- might prefer to sleep under many blankets for the pressure of the weight or similarly to wear heavy clothes for the comforting pressure

- might be oversensitive or undersensitive to pain

- is often very inactive or very active


Special interests

- are all-absorbing, narrow interests done to the exclusion of other activities, done with repetitive adherence, or done with more rote than meaning (as a child) -- (I have NO idea what this means)

- often include a fascination with facts or numbers, science, or something related to transportation - Yes, I am FASCINATED with science.

- often involve a couple lifelong primary special interests; might include short-term, but very intense, secondary special interests; might acquire more primary interests over time so adults might have 4 or more - (I have no idea what this means either)

- are calming and reduce stress (as opposed to an obsession), but might give appearance of obsessive-compulsive disorder -- (huh?? I'm lost here too lo, if it means does my special interest calm stress, well then yeah, sometimes, writing fanfiction, doing science or watching my favorite show (TWD) that I have seen a million times sometimes has a tendency to calm me when under stress.)



Thinking and memory:

- has excellent long-term memory for facts and routines; often have an excellent memory for dialogue - YES, while I forget keys and other things around the house, I know word for word every line from the films COTC II and Fright Night and TWD TV show season three.

- might have difficulty with short-term memory - if this means forgetting my keys, my eyeglasses, where I put my nail polish, my abstinence ring, etc....then yes, this is me

- is logical and detail-oriented; easily able to identify errors --(Eh, I don't know)

- can focus on tasks intensely; persistent; difficulty leaving tasks unfinished

- often has poor imagination as a young child; might have extraordinary imaginative abilities as a teenager and adult


Brain differences:

- the amygdala (the brain's social and emotional control center) is enlarged during early childhood and then shrinks; resulting in an amygdala that appears the same as the amygdala in children who were subjected to physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect; a person with a "damaged" amygdala might sense danger when there is none

- researchers believe that children with autism related disorders suffer chronic stress from fear of people that results in the atypical development of the amygdala - if this means fear of people rejecting me, then yes


Child development:

- larger than normal head circumference is common -- (lol, I don't know)


Other characteristics:

- often only minimally affected by peer pressure, so does what is comfortable for him or her; or, tries to fit in by doing anything peers suggest without realizing peers' true intentions ---YES, that is so me

- has an aversion to being interrupted; compulsion for completion -- YES, especially during tasks or when cleaning up

- is often very spiritual, but not necessarily religious

- is a perfectionist - sometimes, yes - especially during tasks involving writing

- has an impaired fight or flight response - possibly because fight or flight is already activate in almost all situations; often does not recognize dangerous situations

- has difficulty making friends; often might misinterpret kindness as friendship; might never form long-term intimate relationships due to lack of social skills and ability; might invent imaginary friends, worlds, or scenarios due to social difficulties - 500% YES - to ALL of this

- unusual attachment to objects; is attached to one particular object; might be preoccupied with parts of objects - I am attached to my TWD Milton Mamet shirt, I won't even let anyone touch the shirt but me

- might be especially sensitive to mind-affecting medicines, such as anti-anxiety and anti-depressant ones; might have atypical side effects from medicines, such as codeine causing insomnia

- might have nicknames such as "little professor" and "encyclopedia" (more often male) or "little philosopher" (more often female)

- the combination of misunderstandings due to taking words literally, possessiveness and intense loyalty to perceived friends, and socially odd or inappropriate behavior can make others feel as if they might be being stalked--lol, shamefully - yes

- often has family members with a smaller number of these traits or learning disabilities; has a genetic factor to autism related disorders which is probably then triggered by environmental factors


Other conditions that might occur with Asperger's Syndrome:

- might suffer anxiety disorder and panic attacks due to effects of Asperger's - when with a large group of people or as group of people period - yes.

- might suffer depression and have suicidal tendencies due to effects of Asperger's -- at certain times, quite often, yes I suffer from depression but not suicidal tendencies

- might suffer post-traumatic stress disorder due to victimization which is due to effects of Asperger's

- might have prosopagnosia (face blindness) - difficulty with facial recognition

- might have learning disabilities

- might have dyspraxia, also known as sensory integration disorder (difficulty planning and performing complex movements such as drawing, writing, buttoning, or other fine motor skill tasks)

- might have sleep problems

- might have dietary intolerances, such as gluten, casein, or lactose intolerance; greater risk of immune system disorders related to digestion, such as Crohn's disease or celiac disease; food allergies

- might not process B6 vitamins efficiently; a study on children with autism showed that they seem to benefit from what are normally toxic doses of B6, but this is not something to try at home

- might have chronic diarrhea or chronic constipation for years

- other co-existing conditions include attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), oppositional defiance disorder (ODD), antisocial personality disorder (APD or ASPD), and Tourette's Syndrome (TS) and other tic disorders

- has a slightly greater incidence of epilepsy

- has a greater incidence of tuberous sclerosis (benign tumors in the brain and other vital organs)

- has 10 times greater incidence of savantism, often in the form of mental calculation or fast computer programming skills

If you feel these issues are inhibiting your life see a specialist who knows how autism affect females of your age. The label is there not just to have a label, but to explain the problems so you can cope with them.

I would read the posts here. Some of the threads will be using Autism jargon and be confusing. Just read the ones that interest you. If when reading posts they are describing you or you find yourself thinking that you did not know other people did or thought that, that is an indication you are on the Autism Spectrum.