How do YOU stop yourself from saying offensive things?

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Part of me just wants to vent about things I'm too afraid to tell my therapist.

Part of me just wants advice about strategies to help NOT say inappropriate things to your boss and have rage fits at work. She is getting on my last nerve.

You are smart.
She is stupid. You are smarter than she is.
If you explode at her, you are the stupid one and she is smarter than you are.

I hate her. I will admit that I hate this person.

She is uppity and condescending. Better yet, she has a 35-year-old daughter who lives with her, doesn't pay rent, and essentially has our boss raise her kid. I hate the daughter. She calls our office frequently asking where her mother is. And when my boss is out of the office, I am to ensure that her son gets fed this and that and gets to watch this and that on his iPad. The son is three and sometimes hangs out in our office. There is nothing about the daughter that is impaired. She thinks we are her slaves.

I hate that my boss has used me as a sounding board when she deals with her daughter. I cannot empathize with this family. In fact, I feel hatred towards her daughter and would recommend the mother kick her out. However, this is my first professional job and I need the reference.

I have 2 job interviews next week. They are both hard jobs to acquire so I am planning as if I am staying here until I leave for grad school. But it is very hard to keep my mouth shut and be nice to this spoiled 35-year-old brat on the phone.

is that even possible?

The Squid believes your therapist is getting paid large sums of money to sit back and listen to what you say. You should use this. Exploding at your boss is not the way to go, unless you plan on an early retirement from your current employment. Just hold your tongue, and let your therapist have it!

My appointment is tomorrow. Sometimes I get so angry that it would help me to scream and yell and say things that in a socially conventional sense, make me an awful person. At the same time I'm afraid the therapist would make arrangements to have me committed if I'm completely honest in my frustrations.

Your therapist isn't likely to commit you unless you show a present danger to yourself or others. As long as you avoid saying anything regarding hurting yourself or your boss (Or anyone else) you should be fine. It's very therapeutic to say what's on your mind. Scream/yell punching pillows etc. They are normal ways of dealing with anger.

This is not a professional opinion, but one option is to find an outlet for your angers. It works for the Squid. Take up gardening, playing a game like Grand Theft Auto is a good option. We use both of these to help vent. Perhaps building something with Legos or other kind of blocks and then knocking it down? We've heard simply handling and molding with clay is a good outlet for anger.

But back on track, don't be afraid of talking with the therapist, it's what he/she is paid for. Just avoid anything to do with murder.

This.
Thats what therapists are for. You can be honest to them about the other folks in your life- and vent. The therapist would prolly hand you a pillow to punch while you talk about your boss, and her daughter.

And then when your done venting you and the therapists can discuss how to handle your work situation calmly.

I just got back. After the name calling and pointing out all the ways I think my boss is a hypocrite and how I think it's ridiculous that she is letting her personal life interfere with professional issues, I told my therapist why it bothers me so much.

My coworker and I put in our full shift daily and even come in during the weekends sometimes. My coworker's wife is sometimes unhappy with his not being home so often but he doesn't let it interfere. My boss will come in at ten or eleven each day and leave at three. Often times she is driving her daughter to work because the daughter got into a car accident recently. I do not have a car and sometimes my coworker does drive me to work since he lives 5 minutes away. But in the event that I do not have a ride, I navigate buses very well and get where I need to be on time.

It is to the point that other organizations we work with can see that she is not really present and that my coworker and I are more adept at getting things done and addressed quickly. It is ticking my boss off and she has, multiple times, expressed that my coworker and I are not educated people and she doesn't think we are of use to the organization. My boss has degrees from Ivy League schools. My coworker and I just went to ordinary colleges. She puts me down a lot. I was hired as a researcher who was supposed to do a lot of writing and try to get some things published. She doubted me from the start and only hired me because no one else wanted the job with the salary it provides and the tasks it demands. While it was stated earlier that I should try to get something published for the organization, she has recently told me to "back off from that because you [me] have not earned your way. You're in your early twenties, please know your boundaries."

She brags on and on about her children's accomplishments too, even though I don't think they're really accomplishments. Her son never graduated from ____ school. He attempted suicide multiple times and transferred to a local one. She lies about this, and of course it distresses him, and she lets that affect her job and us as well.

My therapist says I need to assess what is important to me. I'm leaving the state next year. This is the only professional job I've had after graduating college. If I were to resign before the end of the year, I don't think she would be happy and I doubt she would provide a good reference. The other jobs I'm looking at seem better in terms just going to work at 8am, coming home at 5pm, and not having to worry about deadlines to meet even when I'm at home. I would be less stressed and at the same time have a solid flow of income. And if I do well, and even if I leave in August, I could get a reference from that job if this reference doesn't work out.

I'm sorry to burden you all with this. It's one of those things that nags and nags and it is just hard for me to keep my mouth shut, especially if this person is adopting me as a confidante rather than an employee. To me, that's weird.