I feel like my family never understands

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I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I really just need to talk to someone, anyone.
Today started out normal. I went to work and on the way to work I told my mom I wanted to drive home. I am trying to get my license, but I hardly ever feel like driving, so today was an exception and I was looking forward to driving home.
So, after work, my mom and both of my younger sisters show up. Neither of them have their license either, but one has her learner's permit, like me. My mom asked me if I still felt like driving. I said I'd be okay with not driving home. (Sometimes my mom has to be home at a certain time and she can get home faster than me.) But then she told me the reason why she was asking. My younger sister, the one without a learner's permit, was scared to drive home with me.
Now, I may not be the best driver in the world, but my driving instructor gave me a 96%. Where I live, the driving instructor has to think you are at least 80% ready to take the actual driving test. So, I would think a 96 is actually pretty good. Plus, both of my younger sisters have driven with me before and have never said anything to me.
Anyway, I was upset because I really wanted to drive home today and my mom had already agreed to my plan to drive home. Just because my younger sister felt unsafe doesn't mean I should have to give up a chance to practise. And she'd already driven with me more than once without telling me she felt unsafe.
My mom refused to let me drive home and I kept saying how unfair it was when we'd already planned it out; the plan was set! If my sister had a problem, and knew she had a problem, she shouldn't have come along.
So, in the car, I was trying to keep it together, but none of them were understanding and I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling. My sister saying she didn't feel safe with me driving makes me feel like she doesn't trust me or have faith in me. But, she feels perfectly safe with my other younger sister, the one with the learner's permit. I guess I should tell you that my younger sisters are twins, but I still feel like that shouldn't change anything, they're both younger than me!
All of this was going through my head and I wanted to scream and just cry, but when I get in this state, it's so hard to talk. It's like I want to talk, but I can't make anything come out. I ended up hitting the window and I did scream, then I just went into meltdown mode.
When I'm in meltdown mode, I'm aware, but I can't really control myself. I know that sounds like an excuse, but it's not. I heard my mom apologise on my behalf, saying that I was acting like a two year old when I'm actually over twenty-one.
At home, I asked her if she thought my dad had any control over his depression; my dad suffers from chronic depression. She said he tries to, but that he has enough self control not to hit things or throw a tantrum. I tried to explain that when I'm having a meltdown, I'm just reacting to the world or the situation, and it's very hard to control myself. But she didn't believe me and asked, "Are you saying you don't have any control over yourself at all?"
Unable to explain exactly what I was trying to say, all I said was, "Why even try talking to you? Why even try anything?" Then I came upstairs to my room and I started writing this.
I appreciate if you've taken the time to read this. I believe I have undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. Despite the rest of my family also believing this, they don't seem to take this into consideration when I'm having a bad day. I'm not asking for special treatment, but I hate that they think I'm acting this way on purpose.
Does anyone out there understand what I'm going through? Do you ever feel like the odd, clueless giraffe amidst the pride of lions that is the rest of humanity? Thanks for listening, anyway.

Family always say that. "You are acting like a ____ year old!"

I wish we didn't react like this. No one wants to have a tantrum in public either.

Get the diagnosis.

Yes I do know how you feel. The doctors interviewed my father and my dad kept blaming video games stunted my social abilities. The doctors will ask your parents very specific questions and decode what they say. The doctor will listen to you more.

I understand how you feel too.
My family can't understand how much their actions can affect me. Sometimes I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall trying to explain things.

Been there, with the driving thing and the meltdown thing.

I only got my license six months ago, and at that time, my friend was (unbeknownst to me) getting annoyed with some of my autistic behaviour; she told me she thought that my getting diagnosed had exacerbated the symptoms, and that I never acted like that before. Whether that's true or not, I don't know. Anyway, the point is she was annoyed. We were going over to her friend's house that evening, and she was worried about taking the bus home (she didn't drive either, and still doesn't). I offered to drive her home, and she said straight up, "I don't want to drive with you because I don't want to die." Obviously that hurt my feelings, but I didn't say anything about it. I didn't realise until the next day when she finally blew up that she was mad at me, and that's probably why she said it, but it doesn't change the fact that she did say it, and it bothered me a lot.

Regarding the meltdowns, my family basically just makes fun of me when they happen. I'll storm off to my room, barely controlling my urge to smash everything in sight, and my mom will call after me, "Going off to have one of your temper tantrums are you?" which of course makes everything worse. The last time it happened, I put a hole in the wall. I apologised and tried to explain that I didn't mean to, but my mom refused to believe me. Even writing this out is driving me crazy. I wish everyone had to experience meltdowns at the level we do, then maybe they'd shut up about the fact that they're not real and we're just overreacting or being childish.

This makes me glad I have shutdowns instead of meltdowns.

Your sisters sound like they're just being rude. I would try to ignore them.

You should have a long talk with your mother. Regardless of diagnosis or even 'mental health' you have meltdowns. It's just a fact. You need to try your best to make her understand that.

Forgive me if you find this offensive... But have you considered moving out after you get your driver's license? I don't plan to stick around when I'm 18. I just think it would be beneficial if you lived by yourself. You wouldn't have to deal with other peoples' crap all the time.

Yeah, but you also have to look after yourself.

Vaguely related: yesterday when I got home from work my mum asked me to "peel yourself some potatoes" because she was busy and wouldn't be able to make dinner for a while. I peeled myself some potatoes, then, having had a brainwave, peeled some carrots too.

A few hours later, my mum was annoyed at me because I hadn't cooked myself dinner, or done anything for anyone else. You asked me to peel potatoes for myself and I went beyond that!

I can't drive due to dyspraxia, but I do know how you feel about your parents not understanding. Mine have very little understanding sometimes that I'm also disabled as well. They always complain because I can't do anything right or help them. They don't realize that I struggle just as much as they do. Both my parents have physical disabilities to a certain degree. My disabilities are mental/developmental/learning or whatever. So, we don't always agree when it comes to what I can and can't do.

I'm too slow of a driver. My parents also fear that I will wreck our car.

I have these moments a lot. But don't dislike your parents for you. Honestly, I feel like there's nothing I can do to get them to understand.

Sorry You had that experience. It's really not fair. Meltdowns are tough because of how people judge us unfairly for them especially since they often times contribute to and are a factor in why we have them in the first place.

I had a similar situation when I was driving a friend of mine to her mom's house. She gave me a third degree inquisition on my driving skills to determine whether or not it was safe for her to be in the car with me. She was even asking me questions like do I stop at stop signs and red lights or if I run through them. Her excuse was that she has kids and she needs to be sure that if I drive her somewhere she will come back alive and intact to be there for her kids. Even though I was infuriated beyond understanding with her treating me like I had just gotten my permit the day before, I was very tolerant and overly patient and accommodating to her. But when I told my husband about it he said that I should have kicked her out of the car especially knowing that I have had an excellent driving record ever since she was a baby and her mode of transportation was being pushed in a pram.