AS and being androgynous

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Are aspies androgynous?

Some of us are. But that's probably just passing influence of the Jonas Brothers.

*laugh* That was bad, SM, but funny...

I would not say necessarily, at least not in a physical sense. In terms of expressions and needs, for myself I would say that there is a greater crossover than in the general population; a masculine creature with more feminine traits.


M.

But aren't these supposed boy-bands looking more like girl-bands?

The Jonas Brothers are both cause and effect.

I'd say more gender-neutral, but that's my impression. I haven't seen a boy band look like the Spice Girls, at least - thank goodness for small favours. To lay it at the feet of Jonas, however, I think is a little too much credit to them... androgyny and sexuality has been a part of the music business for centuries in varying forms.


M.

I know, I was just having a little fun.

*grin* Besides - we all know that it started with Robert Smith anyway. *cough*


M.

When I had long hair as a child a lot of people mistook me for a female, saying "ma'am" instead of "sir" even right to my face. One kid even insisted that I was delusional: "This girl thinks she's a boy!"

It is my held opinion that all individuals with Asperger's syndrome are inherently androgynous due to lacking the social capabilities required to participate in the role as either gender.
Obviously, this opinion is not backed up with any research whatsoever, but is merely an attempt at appearing intellectual at the bereft of the coherency of the thread.

Ziggy Stardust, IMO.

One Aspie stereotype is that we are a bit gender blind.

In my own personal experience I can say that this is actually very true. My gender is somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. A Number of people on this board will definately agree with this statement for themselves, but I wouldn't make it a sweeping generalization.

And before slowmutant asks, Yes, I'm gender-neutral and gender dysphoric at the same time. I know, I'm full of contradictions. Genderqueer who still wants to physically change genders, MTF when one prominent theory of AS is an "extreme male brain". I don't know the how or the why. I just know I'm here. (and if we get any more indepth then this SM, we should move it to the adult forum.)

Jebus, how could I forget Ziggy? It isn't an absolute quality, any more than hair color or height... there does seem to be a higher frequency within the spectrum, however. I know I don't fit the expectation of male behaviors, but it isn't a psychosexual issue for me.


M.

Where do you live where children are called "ma'am" and "sir"?

I think it has a lot to do with not really caring how one looks, which translates into sort of a non-descript "be-grateful-I'm-not-naked-in-public" kind of aura.

Only recently (approaching my 4th decade of life) have I actually started paying a little more attention to this.

From Wikipedia:

Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgyny

And it seems like what we are talking about here is behavioral androgyny, if I understand the distinctions right.

I'm in between the genders, according to the MMPI. I just don't fit the traditional female gender role. It's never been a big deal to me or anyone else (except the times the girls tried to make me over in school, and I had to scrub make-up off my face).

I dunno. I'm just me. I'm female and I'm married to a man and I act how I act. I cuddle my kids and hate to be hugged by anyone else except my husband, and I hate "girl's night out" and I like shoes and I don't like shopping. I don't understand why women act the way they do and then I catch myself acting like one sometimes. I think. I hate what I consider "chick flicks" but my husband has noted that I have certain undoubted favorite ones of my own. None of them have or ever will star Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock, but many of them are historical works or in black-and-white.

What is androgynous is largely established by culture and its reactions to common human traits and inclinations. Yes, certain qualities can be frequently attributed to an individual sex, but to define all traits possessed by all persons in any one group based upon one common quality they share is the definition of unfair prejudice. Do we, in our frequent failure to meet the superficial, common, and expected standards of male or female come across as sexually conflicted? Yeah, because people see what they understand and don't appreciate being expected to give more time than they are willing to offer to assess what they see. So they see me, a dowdy housewife who always frowns and is always snapping at her kids to hurry, when what is really here is, well, a dowdy housewife who is thinking of something funny while frowning but really wants to get out of the crowd at school and go buy icees and knows her kids need to be told 100 times.

On the note I mentioned of not wanting to give time to assess what is seen, they also like to categorize as being stupid or difficult those who can't or won't make fast judgments. I'm getting pretty sick of being weird and boyish to the women and ditzy and blonde to the men.

I don't have the book with me to get a direct quotation, but Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome talks about this. He says that when we have difficulties socializing with peers of our own gender, we may turn to the opposite gender for friendship. They're less likely to reject us for social faux pas because they expect it to happen. And the typical aspie will attempt to emulate the behavior of their peers in order to fit in, so they may show the "wrong" behavior.