Can people tell you are autistic?

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When you meet people, in any given situation, do they know something's off? Does the autism show? I fancy myself a quite high functioning member of the spectrum and pride myself in the fact that no one has ever asked if I was autistic before, or to my knowledge has ever made such assumptions. I am a fairly talkative person when I am at ease, and I am confident enough to be at ease almost always and if not, fake it. This affects the way I am perceived ? people think I am just your average bloke. If I get close to people I will be honest about the fact that I have some learning and concentration issues, but my social issues I keep to myself.

When I was in high school I knew several autistic children, and almost all of them were visibly ?different?. It was in their movements, their lack of eye contact, their voices. It was in their endless droning on the same subject, on and on and on without stop. I figured they must have been low-functioning or classic autistics who got mainstreamed by their parents. Some later left for special education. There was one guy, however, who I would never have guessed in a million years was on the spectrum; a friend of mine told me a year back that this guy had Asperger?s too. He wasn?t very open about it either but did not hide it the way I did either, so close friends knew. My friend told me of this guy?s autism, not even knowing I was diagnosed myself. Quite a strange experience. Anyway, this other guy was quite social and good at sports which is why I didn?t guess. Apparently I have programmed by society to associate autism with stereotypes in such a way that whoever acts too normal or has interests too normal, I won?t be able to tell? it?s kind of sad. We are more than just walking stereotypes.

Anyway, people who meet me do not know. I taught myself how to make proper eye contact and change my body posture. I learned non-verbal communication, and the importance of it. This has helped me mask my issues well, as it allows me to be ?one of the guys?. I have also learned to adapt to people who are very different. Like a group of guys talking about beer and girlfriends and football wouldn?t be my ideal environment but I can adapt to them the same way I could adapt to a group with more ?nerdy? interests, and anything in between. It can be exhausting, though. But it?s a good thing to be able to do: feigning interest in stuff you care little about. It's strange... sometimes I feel like I don't have any real interests or hobbies that allow me to fit in somewhere, so I am forced to pretend. I'm somewhat empty on the inside and it can be distressing at times.

So to everyone here the question: how ?outwardly different? are you, and are people able to tell you are on the spectrum when they meet you or not? And if they do, do you come across as high- or low functioning to them?

I can flap if I get flustered and I make a moaning kind of sound too.

I have hidden this in public all my life.

99.9% of the time I can hide my autism but people always found we rude weird and stupid.


I have discovered I am on the Autistic Spectrum and I am proud of who I am so I don't care who knows if people can not accept me for who I am well then **** them.

I wasn't aware this was a part of Asperger's. Especially not the moaning sound.



I can understand, so have I. One time word got out and it pretty much ruined that entire year of high school for me, making me a target for unsolicited pity from some, outright bullying and teasing from others. Just because of a label some doctor put on me.



People finding you rude may be because of being very honest\very direct, as is often associated with AS. This is behaviour that can be learned. The same with being 'weird' or 'stupid', it has to do with the way you act and behave, the way you talk and the things you talk about. You can discover which things lead to such negative perceptions and unlearn them.



That's very admirable and I admire your strength. I think few people have such strength and are able to be as open as you are.

What will be the quickest way for somebody to realize something is a bit off about me? Tell me something just slightly upsetting and listen to me repeat myself a couple hundred times regarding it in the hour following.

Thanks for starting this thread. It's something I've been wanting to ask as well, mostly because I got diagnosed this week and I'm confused because pretty much no one would suspect I have autism (which makes me doubtful as well).

I can pass as NT. Well, almost. I can pass as a rigid and anxious NT. People have commented on me being quiet, anxious, introverted, stuck somewhere in my head, inflexible when it comes to plans etc, but I really don't think people would suspect I'm autistic/have Asperger's. I often feel like I'm pretending when in other people's company. I smile more and use more facial expressions than I normally would, pretend I'm listening though I'm actually off someplace else in my head etc., but all of that feels fake most of the time. Most of the time (not always), using facial expressions and things like that is something I have to consciously decide to do. A lot of the time it doesn't come naturally to me.

My psychologist, however, thought it was obvious so perhaps it's just that people in general don't know what to look for. Sorry, I'm rambling. The short answer is: I don't think my autism shows unless people know what to look for and I probably just come across as anxious.

Having gone 23 years without recognition/diagnosis, I can confidently say yes. Though I've been labeled weird, socially awkward, loner, etc. I think this ignorance stems primarily from society being unaware of high-functioning autistics.

Even if people were more aware, I think it's hard to pick out an AS (acting as NT) from a group of NTs. There may be some very introverted people around, who fall below the clinical levels for an AS diagnosis.

That thing that bugs me is many people with so called high functioning or that dirty world Aspergers who only got diagnosed later in life and we got treated like dirt in school and beyond.

As adults why are some of you ashamed of your autism even here?

My diagnosis puts things in my life into perspective and while I don't go around broadcasting my autism I don't hide it either and I am not ashamed of it.

As regards people with more severe autism they have the same symptoms only worse.
My sensitivity to noise for example I can only imagine what it woulld be like to have this symptom 3 or 4 times more acute.

We are all autistic here and we are all equal.

I don't think I understand... can you please elaborate?

Of course the psychologist is trained to spot signs of AS. It's exactly as you say: most people do not know what to look for so they will not be able to tell the signs unless they are really obvious (as in: someone is low functioning on the spectrum and not AS).



It's indeed hard to tell. I have often tried to spot it in people, but unless they were low-functioning I never could. There have been close friends of whom I suspected it, but I was always close to them already and knew them for a long time. Never actually asked, though. I respect people's privacy too much to ask, and get shy. But I do wonder, how many seemingly normal people are actually on the spectrum. I wonder what goes on in their heads as they walk through the same world as I do, facing the same difficulties and challenges, the same joys and sorrows.

I feel like some people are trying really hard to fit in with NTs even those NTs that bullied and mocked us.

Those are the people who deserve no respect.

Not specifically the people that bullied or mocked me, no. Those people can all rot in hell for all I care. But society as a whole requires certain things of it's members. That is, to act in a way that isn't too crazy. Not to make weird random sounds, not to flap your arms around like a bird or throw yourself on the ground crying, or curl up in a ball. Behavior that is more fitted for an angry toddler or a kid of a sugar rush does not belong with a grown up man or woman. I feel that people who act in such a disgraceful way hurt the entire name of the spectrum and all those on it. So I advocate for all of us to at least somewhat appear normal. So that when someone hears you are autistic, they'd go: "Oh my! I would never have guessed it of you," and then you can tell them: "why, because I am too 'normal'?" And then the other person would go: "I guess the way I looked at autistic people was wrong, then!"



Everybody deserves respect, one way or another. Without respect we are nowhere. But respect has it's bounderies, as do all things.

I agree there is a proper way to behave in public but we can all only do our best.

Some people do not have the option of hiding their autism and that is not their fault.

Sometimes your best isn't good enough and anyone with AS making an ass of himself in public disgraces the spectrum and others on it, and is partially responsible for people's negative opinions on the rest of us. The more 'normal' we manage to come across the better we will be treated and the more we'll be understood.



No it isn't; it's a conscious and legitimate choice people make so that they can feel more comfortable in their own skin and not be judged by society to such a degree as they would otherwise be.

I pass as normal unless people get to know me to well.

I can not form relationships or friendships and I do not have a choice about this.

Some people with more severe symptoms get overloaded quicker and their sensory issues must be absolutely hell.

For myself myself getting overloaded along with sensory issues is just a highly frustrating and annoying thing I have to deal with.
When this happens to me I just come across as grumpy and unfriendly.

Some people with milder forms of Autism seem to have some odd ideas about people with more severe autism.

They are just the same as the rest of us reading their posts here shows how smart and warm and friendly they really are.
They are dealing with symptoms that much be very painful.

NT people don't seem to mind noisy environments for somebody with my level of Autism it gets me flustered I am guessing for somebody who has much worse noise sensitivity this much make them feel panicked.

I can not speak for anybody else why don't you ask these questions yourself?

Last edited by sharkattack on 14 Sep 2014, 8:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

There's really only one problem with that- what do you suggest as to the standards of "acting normal"?

I'm at a place now where I blend in pretty well. I've only been outright bullied for my AS by my family, which has led me to keep it pretty hush-hush about it. I may be extraverted (I literally have a 1% E over I on the MBTI that I've taken online), so I need a little social interaction to be happy.

I do tell friends I have it. Not necessarily because I feel like it explains myself, but to give context as to what I've been through and what I've dealt with. I am very sure to tell only people who have been around for a while, and only one said something that she detected something was amiss. She works with AS/HFA children at her church and wants to be a special education teacher, though.

I know the bullies in my past would of had a hay day if they knew I had a variant of autism. They don't bother me anymore, though. I'm doing very well in classes in college whereas a lot of the people who tortured me are now unmarried and have children (mind you, they're 20 like me), or flunked out of community college. I'm not normally a spiteful person, but that sort of validated that I was doing the right thing letting the crap they were spewing roll off of me. All things considered, I think I'm doing alright for myself.

Overall though, the coping mechanisms have become second-nature to me. I don't feel like that entitles people like me to look down at others who have AS, especially if they exhibit their symptoms more profoundly. No HFA individual is better than any LFA individual- and to base the stratification of people on something as subjective as "how well do you pass" is silly. Different types of people get along better in different places and in different countries. Or, as Einstein said, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid."

We all have different skills to share, and we should take pride in that.

It's not a true understanding, though, because it's a fake front?