Bringing list of possible traits to psychiatrist

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I made a thread here before explaining why I thought I had asperger's syndrome and asking for people's opinions. I now have an appointment with a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and I made a sheet of points stating why I think I might have asperger's syndrome. I will copy and paste those points in separate posts, but in this one I would like to write points about why I might NOT have it:

- When I'm not ill and had a lot of sleep, I come off as a completely normal person. I am able to make eye contact with other people with little/no effort and converse with them at the same time. When I am tired it is infinitely more difficult to do that. That is the reason that I never want to leave the house even if I'm slightly tired or ill - I don't want to come off as weird.

- I have no sensory issues that I am aware of. I do get incredibly agitated at my mum's sniffing or throat-clearing to the point where I feel I have to leave the room or even the house because otherwise I would be very angry and I would want to bite something. However, there are no environmental sensory issues for me. Most of the noises/sights I hate are ones that other people produce. If those exact sounds were produced by a machine (and I knew it was not a recording of a person), they would not bother me.

Although those are the only 2 points I can think of, I feel like they're big ones as they are the ones that cause the most trouble to most aspies. Since those are things I can cope with, I feel I come across as relatively normal and even friendly to most people

Below I am going to copy and paste my symptoms from when I was a child in one post, and then make another post for symptoms as an adult. These are the ones I'm considering bringing to the psychiatrist.

Childhood symptoms:

- Rarely made any friends (perhaps 2 friendships in my whole childhood, none of which were very personal or long term). This was mostly because I did not see the point of the company of other children as I preferred solitary activities, but I also lacked the skills to do so.
- Withdrew into my own head a lot. Was accused by my parents of ?daydreaming? a lot. They tried to snap me out of it when they ?caught? me staring off into space.
- I did not respond to my name when I heard it. I understood a response was expected of me, but I did not see the point in responding. I did not show any indication whatsoever that I heard my name, so my parents thought it was ?daydreaming?, which it actually was in a way as I preferred to stay inside my own head with my own thoughts rather than to offer a response.
- When my parents tried to converse with me, I would not turn around to answer their questions. Rather, I would answer with my back turned to them. I would only turn around when specifically prompted to do so.
- I had little to no eye contact with anyone, regardless of whether it was during conversation or not.
- There were long periods of time when I did not talk to anyone and ignored people?s attempts to communicate with me. I did not respond to them because I simply did not see a point in it.
- I read a lot of fiction books. When I read books, I was so absorbed in them that I was able to read them without stopping from the moment I woke up until I had to go to sleep, with no breaks in between. My parents thought this was an addiction and stopped allowing me to read books as they thought it interfered with my life, but this did not stop me from seeking books out and reading them in secret. There were times when I stayed up until very early morning to finish reading a particular book, which made me very tired at school the next day.
- When I was very young (about 7) I read a lot of fairy tale books. When I finished one, I would look for another book with exactly the same collection of stories, but with a different author, different writing style, and/or slight twists to the story, but I would read book after book of the same story (this is an example of an obsession with one specific topic).
- I liked to solve logical puzzles. I could sit for hours and solve puzzles or maths problems. I was very good at maths in school, which caused me to be bored in lessons. My teachers noticed my enthusiasm for the subject and that I was ahead of the class, so they gave me extra homework to do. I was happy about this and did not see it as a negative thing.
- I took many things people said to me literally. When I was told to do something by my parents, I would do it without questioning and without thinking twice. My parents sometimes asked me to do certain things jokingly, and were astonished when I complied.
- I liked to solve problems. Whenever something stopped working in the house, I immediately volunteered to try to fix it and usually I would do it successfully just by observing the parts, figuring out how they worked, and guessing where the problem might be. In this way I successfully fixed things such as TVs, blocked sewage, and vacuum cleaners. I did those things when I was aged 8-12. When I was aged 12-16 I also voluntarily assembled furniture that my parents bought such as beds, desks etc. I did that by following the instructions on the manuals. These were not things that were expected of girls in our culture, so my parents thought it was unusual.
- I was not interested in things other girls my age were interested in. I never had celebrity crushes (or crushes on real boys). I never understood the point in trying to ?look pretty? (I sometimes wore clothes that were considered laughable to many other people). I was only interested in things that I considered immediately practical to me.

Adult symptoms:
- At the age of 19/20 I became very aware of the importance of socialisation and I became obsessed with studying how to be ?normal?. I practiced eye contact, body language, etc. I realised that eye contact was essential, but staring should be avoided. I also learned that smiling at people makes them feel at ease. I learned all those things from observing other people, from reading things online, and by asking friends, family, and my ex what the appropriate thing to do or say was in certain situations. I think I learned most of my ?normal? behaviour from my ex, who corrected me almost every time I did something he perceived as ?wrong?. Most of my social behaviour today was copied from him.
- I have always been seen by my family as ?stone cold? and ?emotionless? as I always took things at face value and did not show many facial expressions. I think this changed in the past 3 years as I learned to smile more and make more eye contact, but my mum still thinks I am cold.
- I still do not have any friends. I think I come off as ?normal? to most people, but I don?t know how to take the ?next step? from acquaintances to friendships. I also get anxious at the thought of having friends because I don?t want to have a responsibility to answer phone calls/texts or to meet up regularly.
- I want to be alone most of the time. I often get anxious and angry when my mum calls me because it disturbs my ?alone? time. I find it difficult to ignore the phone when it rings as I have a strong urge to pick it up. The way I see it, the phone?s purpose is to be picked up when it rings, so I cannot ignore it.
- I get very angry and anxious when I get asked to do things I don?t want to do. This is a problem that I haven?t solved yet as I don?t know how to say no. This is because the things I get asked to do appear so small and insignificant to other people, that they would not understand why I was so vehemently opposed to doing it.
- I sometimes feel overloaded in social situations. I want to stop everything, sit down in the corner and withdraw into my own head and in rare occasions I also want to cry. Sometimes I do those things, but I realise it is inappropriate. Whenever I can help it, I instead tell the other person that I want to leave. If they don?t understand why I want to leave and expect me to stay (or I feel they expect me to stay), I feel like I am not allowed to leave. It is as if there is an invisible barrier preventing me from leaving, and I feel trapped and distressed.
- Although I can get very excited about certain subjects (I am very interested in evolutionary anthropology, and my fascination with logical problem solving is still there from childhood. I also have fleeting short term interests), my focus is very narrow and I therefore find it hard to focus on other topics in related surrounding areas. This made my university experience extremely difficult, as I found it almost excruciating to force myself to focus on things that I was not interested in (such as anatomy and physiology). I think this is the reason I dropped out of my first course at uni before the end of the first year. When I tried for a second degree, I think that without the support of my ex at the time I would not have succeeded. Even with his support, I found it extremely difficult and had a lot of mental breakdowns.
- I take some things people say to me very literally. When I finished uni, I went to live with my mum. We had a fight and she angrily told me she didn?t want me to live with her. I immediately left the house, went to the library, and looked for places to move to. I found a place that same day, and moved out of my mum?s flat the next day. My mum was very angry and said she didn?t mean for me to move out, but I am now still living elsewhere because of that.
- I like being in control of everything I do in my life to the last detail. For example, I hate having time schedules dictated to me at work or at school. I also refuse to shower at my mum?s house when I am visiting as I do not have my own personal shower items (the shampoo I bought specifically and I want to use my own towel because I bought it for the specific texture it has). Even if I really feel like I need to shower, the fact that I am at my mum?s house would stop me from doing it. If I visit my mum for a week and I did not bring my things over, I would not shower for a week.

You know autism is such a peculiar thing. I believe I have encountered people who are autistic, but they developed really good management techniques for sensory overload and meltdowns and they don't struggle with that, and thus have a little better social skills, so they don't fall into diagnosis as easily. This may be odd to say, but I find that more attractive people, or girls, fall into this category because due to being attractive neurotypical people were much more kind and careful and aware of them.

Which I don't consider autism to be just a set of disorders and maladaptivities. I consider it to be a mutation. Thus someone could be 'autistic' in my book without many textbook 'symptoms' and issues. Which some PHD's might not agree with that. But honestly I find the best way to tell if your on that autistic frequency is too hang out with other autistic people and see if you connect to them. Whether or not someone has adapted to all potential ailments of it, they still have a different perception of the world. If people who know they are autistic already, if their worldview and perceptions make more sense and resonate with you, you may really just be a naturally well adapted autistic person.

Bringing your list with you to your diagnostic meeting is a great idea. I did this (even though my diagnostician seemed to ignore it), and it allowed me to refer to it during our discussion. Otherwise, I would have forgotten most of what I wanted to emphasize.

Good luck.

Yes, I agree with AspieUtah in that having your list with you will help you remember key points that you want to discuss----BUT, be aware that too many doctors don't like it when people diagnose themselves, so-to-speak, or when someone tells the doctor things they have been thinking about / researching / whatever about things that have been happening with them. I'm not sure what it is----maybe, that "God Complex" thing----or, maybe they just don't like talking to people who have not been educated in what they've been educated in. That may be why the OP's doctor didn't pay any attention to their list----or, sometimes the doctor just wants to make a diagnosis on their own without any, like, "prejudice" from a list.

You'll know----you'll get a vibe about whether you trust the person / are comfortable with them. If you're not comfortable, don't be bummed / discouraged, just go somewhere else. I've gone to doctors who have said thee most ridiculous things I've ever heard in my life----some of them think they can tell you ANYTHING, and you should just believe them because they're a doctor, and/or, just follow them, blindly----I'M NOT DOIN' IT!! !

I took eleven pages of printed info about my symtoms in list form.

The psychiatrist later mentioned this in his written report. I think that he thought it was a lot!

It was something like "He brought a list of his symptoms ( 11 pages! ) to the appointment".

When I read the report and noticed the brackets I thought that maybe I'd overdone things. But that is all part of it.

That, in itself, is a pointer to how I am.