No I don't want to meet new people.
The outreach coordinator (basically my support worker's manager) sometimes sees me to see how I'm doing. Recently he suggested I go to an Asperger's / autism social club.
I declined. I don't want to meet new people.
It seems that with HFA / AS (my diagnosis is HFA although I struggle badly with many aspects of life), support staff, school, universities etc seem to think we all want to learn social skills and meet new people.
I have little interest in people other than a couple of friends, my parents, my support staff, and then there's the internet too.
I don't care about social skills because I wouldn't need to, or want to, use them anyway.
Does anyone else feel this way?
How can I tell people to quit trying to make me socialise when all I want is to stay at home alone with support staff visiting when needed, and my dad visiting a few days every two months (he lives abroad). Recently my mum (my parents are separated) has been wanting to socialse with me once a week; I end up dreading Sundays as that's when she wants to meet up with me.
I don't mind professional situations like seeing my support staff or my medical professionals.
I just don't want to socialise beyond what is absolutely necessary (my friend who is AS only meets up with me when my computer isn't working etc and we like it that way).
How do I get people like my very extroverted mum to understand this?
_________________
I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.
BirdInFlight
Veteran
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
l could understand your feelings. I wouldn't push the issue too much. I would just allow things to "flow." Perhaps, on your own, without any forceful compunction, you could develop the desire to meet new people. People trying to force you to meet new people, I believe, inevitably causes you to rebel, owing to the forceful nature of that "request."
I find, though, that meeting new people offers a different perspective on life. When I've avoided meeting new people, I just didn't learn as much as when I meet new people.
I'm a little bit the same, I don't care and have any interest in other people except my family and my close friends. And the times I do date or have a GF it has always been a big cause of arguments and break ups because I'm never interested in meeting her friends or even her family, and the times I did I always came on has a weirdo.
But funny enough and due to my profession (filmmaker) I'm forced to meet new people all the time, being very social with them and even so I come on pretty shy but I can deal with it and pass for almost normal, and you need a minimum of social skills especially working with performers.
But outside of that, I simply don't care or feel like using them.
So I can of relate with what you are saying, and I can spend days staying at home doing my thing, watching movies, TV shows, fixing computers, editing, reading and playing video games and never feel the urge to socialize with anyone.
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Beauty will save the world -- Fyodor Dostoevsky
I know where you're coming from. My Mum's exactly the same too. She saps my energy like a soul-sucking vampire.
People don't really understand what it's like.
I was once tempted to buy one of those t-shirts that says, "F**k off I have enough friends."
Sometimes I've fantasised about telling my mother something ridiculous, such as I've joined a devil-worshipping cult and she needs to bring a ritual sacrifice whenever she comes around (she's very religious).
In the end I reason that she [i]is[i] my mother and I just have to bear it the best I can. Then when she leaves I turn on my screamo music and cleanse myself.
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It's like I'm sleepwalking
I relate to you.
I don't want to meet new people as well.
I am not that interested in people.
Sometimes my former housemate comes to visit me and he is diagnosed with mild AS and he has developed a desire in meeting new people in the past years,
and than he tells me about people and I am not interested in it at all.
Currently I only have contact to 3 therapists, my former housemate, and an aid for supported living.
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English is not my native language, so I will very likely do mistakes in writing or understanding. My edits are due to corrections of mistakes, which I sometimes recognize just after submitting a text.
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