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Metalgear29
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 18 Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30

07 Oct 2014, 10:01 pm

Hi, I'd like to bring up communication issues that some of us deal with. I found that I'm able to effectively have verbal conversations in short bursts or one sentence statements. I often observe neurotypical people communicating back and forth without any difficulty and I often become amazed how they accomplish this. I practice conversations that I will have in the near future when I'm by myself, but if the conversation does not unfold the way I envisioned, I become lost. if I'm conversing with an individual, and they are they aggressor in the conversation, I can just nod and respond with short responses. are there any coping strategies you guys use that you could share



9of47
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 125
Location: Body in Melbourne, mind is far beyond the stars

08 Oct 2014, 1:20 am

I have a few that I've picked up over the years:
* Have a set of stock responses to common questions and statements. For example:

NT: Hi, how are you?
Me: I'm great, thanks. How about you?

NT: I'm so tired.
Me: Me too, I guess it's that time of year, isn't it?

*It's always a good idea to end with a question or something similar that invites them to respond. It also allows you more breaks between times you're expected to speak.

*The longer they spend talking relative to you, the easier it is. Ask questions that get them to do most of the talking. NTs love talking about everything and anything, plus it gives you longer stretches to come up with a response. As well it means that you can use short phrases and questions that sound like you're listening without having to come up with original statements. For example:

NT: (talking about something bad that happened to them)
Me: That's terrible. How have you been coping?/You seem to be dealing with it quite well./I never would have guessed that this happened.

NT: (talking about their job)
Me: Where do you work? ? Do you like it there? ? Do you get along with your workmates? ? How long have you been working there? (etc)

In fact you can adapt the second example to their discussions of family, something they went to on the weekend, a recent trip ?

*Keep conversations as short as possible. Some ways to end a conversation include:

(Look at mobile/watch) "Whoops, I was supposed to be (insert place here) 5 minutes ago! I guess we'll have to talk again soon! Bye!"

(If at a social function and you know someone else in another part of the room). "It's been great talking to you. I haven't had a chance to say hi to (that someone else). I'll let you get back to mingling."

(Any other situation). "Sorry, I seem to be a bit tired at the moment. I should probably get back to (whatever it is you're doing). I'd love to talk again when I'm feeling better."

* Practice. Try and pick people that are more likely to be sympathetic and tolerant. If possible, letting them know that you're trying to improve your conversation skills can help. Ask for pointers, etc.

* If they start getting angry for whatever reason, a quick apology can often diffuse it. Then end the conversation quickly and politely.


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