What "normal" things do you say that people take o

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It really irritates me that people get offended by so many little things I say but really they aren't mean..it's just true at that moment. I hate feeling like I am not supposed to speak up when I actually want to.

Some of the ones that I say not in a mean voice, just matter of fact...

Leave me alone.
Why can't you just leave me alone.
Get out of my way.
You are in my way.
Be quiet.
Get away from me.
I need to leave.
I have to get out of here.
Stop doing that. (tap tap tap)
You're being too slow.
You're talking too slow.
I can't handle this....
Could you stop?
I don't really want to visit.


These are just the normal everyday type things. What are yours?

PLEASE tell me that I can edit the subject line? wtf? It cut it off.

I also curse way too much and would add that above to my list.

I think everyone here is clever enough to figure it out.

In reference to your question, typically my responses to child birth, marriage, engagement and death.

it's a bad habit of mine, not saying those things no matter how much they need to be said.

Usually if someone were to say to me something like "My handwriting isn't very neat" I tend to say "I don't care". Not in a rude way, but in a way that means "I don't mind either way if your handwriting is messy or neat, I can still read it" but they take it as me being rude.

"I'd rather be alone now."

I've worked in the public sector for many years and I understand exactly where you're coming from. The trouble is, many of those sentences are short, abrupt and likely carry a staccato-like tone with them. Perhaps in the future, adding something like. "I'm sorry, I havn't been feeling well. I don't want to visit." goes a long way toward making your point stick without making the other person feel offended. It's not that you're trying to be mean. Just add something like an apology, or a reason behind you're remark. "Get out of my way" becomes "Excuse me sir, I need to get through" Etc.

Ya, on an S4 phone it appears a little difficult for me to "see". Can you just give me the answer? lol

the list stated in the OP are all things that are considered 'rude' no matter the tone of voice used, most are deemed to be commands rather then requests.

changing the wording can go a long way: see the difference between "get out of my way" and "could you get out of my way". the addition of those two small words make the statement a lot more friendly, and you are less likely to be seen as rude

I can't hear the tone of voice being used by the OP but the phrases listed seem very rude when there is no tone of voice. The choice of words is already offensive on its own. It'd be pretty difficult to say most of those things in a nice way. There's no nice way to say "talk faster" or "get out of my way".

The ones that start with "I" are just matter of fact statements about yourself (ex.I have to get out of here, I don't really want to visit). But the rest are either commands (leave me alone, stop doing that) or criticisms (you are in my way, you're being too slow). Unless you have authority over somebody, they will be offended if you order them around. And they will be offended if you criticize them. If you want that to not happen, change the commands and criticisms to gentle requests that come bundled with an explanation.

Even people who actually have authority over somebody will often bundle commands with explanations (except cops, cops never do). For example, my boss doesn't say "You're being too slow". She says, "please finish that as quickly as you can because the deadline is tomorrow."

This is exactly what I mean. I see how people reading my list can read it as very rude as you can't hear tone of voice.

About my list being very rude... Yes, I agree. I'm working on it. I'm trying to understand a bigger picture of how what gets put "out there" by m doesn't normally come from ill- intent and that causes communication breakdown, me feeling misunderstood and sad, and others feeling irritated and hurt. I am trying to analyze my "regular" day to say responses that I am not thinking of as rude and comparing to what other people also say (have negative reactions from others) so that I can consider whether or not I do this in other conversations, etc. I'm trying to break it down to what areas I do the most of this or understand how other statements might be considered rude so that I can try to work on each individual statements and replace with a non-rude way of saying it. That is why I am asking for examples of what other people say ( the intent is not to be rude but come across as so). Perhaps that is more clear.

Thank you. Short and abrupt. Yes, most are. Hmm. I wonder if I can teach self to do something before answering so curtly. It's more of an "automatic" not thought through response. If it was someone knew I would gauge more of NOT to say these things but it happens to people around me that I can more or less be myself.

Exactly - I would be very much offended by most of those lines and I'm sure most people including most of us on the Spectrum would be very much offended too unless they were changed to a more polite request from an insensitive command or mean sounding criticism.

Most of those aren't really normal things to say. It may feel normal and natural to you to say them, but other people don't view it as normal. It's not typical for people to say those things to each other, except maybe close family members. My mom and I will say things like that to each other, but we do it humorously and we don't take offense to it.

Sometimes I WANT to say those things to other people but I don't. Like when I'm shopping in the grocery store, and someone is taking forever to look at something and they are in my way, I want to bark "HURRY UP YOU'RE IN MY WAY." But I don't do it.

Lot of those sound mean and you just need to change your communication by saying it in a different way.

"Leave me alone"

Tell them you need quiet time or want to be alone.

"Get out of my way"
"You are in my way"

Say "excuse me" or ask to get though

"Be quiet"

Tell them you want quiet time or tell them you can't hear the show or the song

"Stop doing that"

Ask them to stop and say why

"You're being too slow"

Ask them to go quicker

"You're talking too slow"

Ask them to talk faster

"Could you stop"

Say please.

"I don't want to visit"

Tell them why you don't want to visit. Are you busy or tired or want to be alone or don't want to come?


If you change your tone, people will be less offended.