Is this normal?

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I wonder if anyone else experiences this:
When I'm deeply depressed I go through what I call a 'jittery stage'. I get shaky, I pace around aimlessly and I feel a strange sensation in my body like high excitement. I have very poor executive functioning during this stage. I will do stupid things like iron my clothes then realise the iron's not switched on. I can't focus on what people are saying (or anything really) because my thoughts are so intense.
My thoughts absolutely race. I liken it to a google search where you keep clicking on the link of the link of the link but sped up 10x. If I hear a word I will flip through every possible meaning of that word and it's connections. Song lyrics get stuck on an endless repeat cycle in my brain.
Is this an ASD related behaviour or is there possibly something else going on here? It seems so at odds with the depression.

I have experienced highly agitated states that therapists have told me is a form of depression. I have PTSD which is where I think it comes from for me. It is a very miserable way to feel and you have my sympathy.

Thanks for your reply. I was confused because all the articles I've seen on depression say, 'low mood, feeling sad etc. I can't find anything about feeling like you're on speed. I'm a bit more settled today. Hope you're getting some relief from your symptoms also.

Are you bipolar? It sounds kind of like a mixed bipolar episode.

I don't think I'm bipolar. I looked at the symptoms for that too. Some fit, but many don't. I don't feel happy or over-confident or creative. It's hard to explain. My thoughts start racing and my body reacts to the excitement of the thoughts but I can't function enough to act on them so I get shaky and agitated and become totally detached from what's happening around me. My senses start to shut down because my thoughts have totally taken over.
The episodes usually start from some kind of over-stimulation.

Last edited by Raleigh on 10 Oct 2014, 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have something fairly similar to what you describe. I do get the 'classic' depression when I'm just low and sad. In fact when I was younger that was pretty much the only type of depression I had. But nowadays I'm more inclined to have agitated depression. I don't consider myself to be bipolar at all - I virtually never have euphoria - but this paragraph from Wiki does sum me up quite well.

According to the MMDT, increased energy and some form of anger, from irritability to full blown rage, are the most common symptoms of dysphoric mania. Symptoms may also include auditory hallucinations, confusion, insomnia, persecutory delusions, racing thoughts, restlessness, and suicidal ideation. Alcohol, drug abuse, and some antidepressant drugs may trigger dysphoric mania in susceptible individuals. A study by Goodwin and Ghaemi (2003) reported manic symptoms in two-thirds of patients with agitated depression, which they suggest calling "mixed-state agitated depression"

I don't have the auditory hallucinations or confusion, but I do have the anger, insomnia, paranoid thoughts (I'm aware of their paranoid nature though), racing thoughts, restlessness and suicidal ideation. It's worse at some times than it is at others; right now it's bad.

I dunno how many bells this rings for you, but here's the link if you're interested.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mixed_state_(psychiatry)

I can certainly relate to this:

>Racing thoughts may be experienced as background or take over a person's consciousness. Thoughts, music, and voices might be zooming through one's mind as they jump tangentially from one to the next. [2] There also might be a repetitive pattern of voice or of pressure without any associated "sound". It is a very overwhelming and irritating feeling, and can result in losing track of time.

Generally, racing thoughts are described by an individual who has had an episode as an event where the mind uncontrollably brings up random thoughts and memories and switches between them very quickly. Sometimes they are related, as one thought leads to another; other times they seem completely random. A person suffering from an episode of racing thoughts has no control over his or her train of thought and it stops them from focusing on one topic or prevents sleeping.<

It's a b*tch, isn't it? So, agitated depression is separate from bipolar or a part of it?
I have the insomnia, racing thoughts, restlessness and suicide ideation. Don't think I have the others.

>Overall functioning may actually increase during episodes of hypomania and is thought to serve as a defense mechanism against depression.<

This certainly isn't happening. My functioning drops to zero. The idea of the defense mechanism against depression is interesting though. I wonder if the racing thoughts are like a respite from the symptoms of depression, because I only get this when I'm very depressed?

Thank you good people.

I now believe I may know what made my poor departed brother tick.

Thank you.

It's a complete b!tch. Would honestly rather have the 'classic' depression than this.

I'm not sure about agitated depression being a part of bipolar So sleep-deprived right now, but I'll go back to the Wiki article and see if I can make more sense of it.

Aaaand... as far as I can make out, it is a subcategory of bipolar disorder. It seems to be more commonly known as a mixed episode, though. Dysphoric mania is yet another term for the same thing.

http://bipolar.about.com/cs/faqs/f/faq_dysphoria.htm

The labelling seems to be in a right mess at the moment, pretty much like autism spectrum disorders themselves.

http://bipolar.about.com/od/frequentlya ... pisode.htm

Hope that helps a bit. My brain is too frazzled to think about it anymore!

Edit: ZenDen - you're welcome >.>

^ Thanks for all that. I appreciate your efforts when you're feeling so bad yourself. The thought I could have bipolar on top of everything else is too much for my brain to process at the moment.
I'll certainly be asking my therapist some questions about this next time I visit.
Thanks again. Hope you pick up soon. Rest now, please.

I found this and I'm extremely worried now:

Symptoms of Cyclomania

The symptoms of cyclomania differ greatly from hypomanic to depressive episodes. Symptoms of hypomania include the following:

All my energy seems to be internalised. If it includes shaking, fidgeting and pacing, yes.

Yes, if someone interrupts my thoughts.

Well, at least this isn't happening.

Racing thoughts, yes. I doubt my speech could ever race lol. Poor judgement, yes. Impulsive behaviour, no. Sexual indiscretion or heavy spending - er, no, but sexual activity has increased.

My brain won't switch off and I feel excited, but I would really like to sleep if I could.

This goes without saying.

Three days this time. They don't normally last much longer than this, thank goodness. No paranoia, delusions or psychosis - yay!

It is estimated that close to 50 percent of people with cyclomania experience depression as their major symptom with minor episodes of hypomania. Symptoms of depression include the following:


Yes to all of these.

I was kind of hoping someone would say this is an Asperger's thing. Anyone???